How can I get over the feelings with my childs father

Tiffany - posted on 02/10/2009 ( 75 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 month old daughter who is beautiful. I recently have been having a difficult time getting over the break up with her father these past few months. We broke up while I was still pregnant but I just new that we would get back together. After I had her I found out that he had been dating another female a month before she was born. He spends more time with her adn freinds than me and the baby although he does provide material things. He tells me all the time that he see's hinself getting back with me in the future but her rather pursue her now. I have been depressed about this for a while can anyone give me advice on how you may have gotten over this if you have a similar situation.

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Carla - posted on 08/03/2013

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I have a daughter and I still love her father VERY much...but I know for a fact that he doesn't love me at all. I didnt want my life to be like this. I love him very much and I want nothing else but for us to be a family. That will never happen. How do I deal with that? How do I make the love stop? I just dont know how to make it go away and possibly try to have something with someone else.

Dominique - posted on 02/14/2009

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i have to agree with everyone on this.. Im going through the same thing... I was at Shane Co. one weekend and the next I was a single mother. My daughter's father told me that he wanted some space to see how it was to be alone*BS* but while i child was in the hospital between those two weekends he only came to see her once for three hours and had the nerve to go to sleep, I have great intuition and did some research to see that there was potentially another woman* I was right * Not only did i have to stay in the same house as him for a month, he openly dated her in my presence, i even caught her hiding in my daughters closet, Mind you my daughters father just turned 21 in Nov. '08 but his new chic is 26.... anyway i ended up moving back with my family thank God and i found myself wanting to get that thing back with him or was hopeful when i would see him because of the things he would tell me, but fortunately i have a FANTASTIC Circle of ppl in my life who are much older and been there done that who filled me in on the game that he is just tryin to have his cake and eat it too. I gave up EVERYTHING for him we were together for FOUR years and he just walked out, and i still in a weird way love him. But its been about two months now and everyday gets a lil better. You just have to focus on you and your child, you want them to see you as a Strong woman.... In time they will see that you are the best thing that happen and it will hit them, but then thats when its too late because you either find somebody else OR you realize you are tooo fly for somebody who cant give you and your child what they deserve....

wow i know i wrote a lot but if you ever want to talk, just let me know because were times that i just wanted to talk even if it was about the same thing over and over again, but didnt want to bother anybody but that is sometime the only way to get past his WHACK ass...

TIA - posted on 06/12/2013

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HE IS PLAYING YOU. IF HE CAN'T SEE THE NEED TO BE WITH YOU AND HIS CHILD NOW THEN STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND EMOTIONS. IF IT WAS ME ALL OVER AGAIN I WOULD LEAVE HIM BE AND TELL HIM TO GET A HOLD OF YOU WHEN HE GROWS UP AND FIGURES OUT WHAT HE WANTS. I STILL HAVE TIMES WHEN I BREAK DOWN AND CRY BECAUSE I AM NOT WITH MY CHILD'S FATHER BUT...I KNOW IT IS NOT SOMETHING I CAN CONTROL. IF THE OTHER PARENT CHOOSES TO PUT OTHER THINGS IN THEIR WAY OF BEING A GREAT PARENT AND LOVING PARTNER THAT IS THEIR CHOICE. YOU CAN CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE LETTING HIM KEEP YOU OBLIGATED TO HIM AS HIS BACK UP GIRLFRIEND. LIKE I SAID DON'T WASTE YOUR ENERGY ON SOMETHING YOU CANT CHANGE.

Josie - posted on 05/20/2013

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I hope my comments would be more helpful than hurtful, but here's my take. I've been through this, so I know first hand, how difficult it is to get past your feelings. Yes, I know you still love him... How can you not? You did just make (with the help of the good lord) a beautiful baby together. People can criticize you all they want, but they can't make you stop feeling for this guy. He will always, and I mean ALWAYS, be a part of your life. Whether physically present or in your daughters' reflections. My advice, is take it slow. Focus all of your energy on your baby. That's what I did. Sure, he sees himself coming back into the picture, but there's no guarantee of that and your daughter is growing every day. He's pursuing someone else right now, which says he's not in any hurry to be a father any time soon. Just don't forget to take care of yourself too! You want to be sharp physically & mentally, being a new mother and all. In all honesty, it took me a long time to get past my feelings because he hurt me more than anyone could understand. But day by day, my son was all I focused on. Being a good mom and making sure he was growing up healthy. Good Luck with your daughter. Hopefully, your baby's father grows up, sooner than later.

Sean - posted on 03/20/2012

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i think hes playing games if he saw himself being with you and really loved you he would do any thing to be with you now not later... try to get your mind off of him (i know its hard) cuz he will only make you more depressed. you will always have feelings for your babys dad but someday you will find a man (not a mind game playing little boy) who will do any thing for you and your daughter.

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Regina - posted on 03/25/2014

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I am currently going through this I have 3 children by their father we were together for almost six yrs and separated now for ten months and it is no easier for a while there i thought i was over it but then here i am right now going through it it is so difficult when you saw your life one way and it turns out an entirely different way. i could have never imagined raising 3 children on my own to top it off he left me for such a girl that was like a little sister and mind you she is still in high school and he is 29 and she is 21 i dont know what she can do for him i have a good job i am a great mom and i thought i was a good girlfriend but i guess not he told me that she makes him feel good and he has no worries when with her i told him that isnt reality you need to grow up

Ashley - posted on 02/25/2014

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Yous are slaves to these men..... these men have you locked down without even calling you a wife or a girlfriend... dont allow your selves to be their victims anymore.

Cristal - posted on 02/06/2014

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I want to share my story. I was 16 when I got pregnant. I was only with my baby's father for a year but he was a long time friend of mine. As we were dating (before I was pregnant) everything was nice. We would talk laugh and kiss and have a great time together. Then it all came down when one of my ex boyfriend and I started again and began friends. My baby's father became jealous and said for me to not talk to him and of course I got mad. For me I would think it's perfectly fine to talk to whoever you want to because it's just talking and I also took it as he doesn't trust me or something. Anyways things started to change he got more and more jealous but I did not want to let it get to me. Then thanks to social media and some friends of mine I found out he was cheating on me with one of his ex girlfriends. I confronted him and still tried to lie about it but he admitted it and I began to cry. Eventually I forgave him and took him back. Of course I did some revenge by cheating on him with my ex boyfriend and he found out as well but he also took me back. It was too the point where we were even but our feelings weren't the same. We kept breaking up and getting back. One time we broke up and he was literally crying like hysterical and I felt so bad I took him back! Lol! But anyways we split up for good but when we did I was emotional because at that time I was pregnant but I really did not know for sure. I literally begged him to take me back and he rejected me several times even when I told him I thought I was pregnant. He said he was leaving to Mexico and there was nothing he could do. I was devastated. So miserable and depressed because of my pregnancy. As summer flew by and start junior year I saw him and I couldn't believe he lied to me. He was still in school and did not even bother talking to me or anything. The worst part I had to deal with was that he was dating one of my close friends. Or so I thought and they both didn't seem to give a fuck about me being pregnant with his child. In fact she would tell him it wasn't his child, Well throughout part of pregnancy I kept it a secret I didn't tell anyone not even my parents except him but he didn't believe. Me. As days kept going my stomach grew bigger and there was rumors about me in school about me being pregnant and I would deny it (because I was scared and all alone don't judge please ) of course eventually I got big enough for people to know and everyone found out. My first check up for my pregnancy was late at 7 months because I was scared so much to tell anyone. My baby's father went with me to my first visit and at that moment we found out we were having a boy. It was a beautiful moment because we were together and happy but in his neck he had a hickie and so it kind of three me off. Plus the whole time after we split up he became this different person that I never knew existed in him. He was so nice and sweet and he then turned all mean to me. Denying his baby saying it wasn't his and all of this nonsense. He had several girlfriends while I was pregnant while I studying hard in school. Then the baby was born and he didn't come til the second day after he was born. He came with his family and his mother had to make him hold him and I clearly remember him saying. "He looks just like me" and he really does. So that happen and as I tried talking to him to see if we still had a chance because I wanted a family and leave the past behind us he refused. He said he wasn't into me and can't forgive me for what I did and I just dropped it. My heart was shattered and confused. Thinking to myself if I really deserved that? And so time went by and the only thing he would do was buy the diapers and wipes which was fine by me because it was some help. But as an infant he never wanted to be with the our son he was always with friends and parties while his mom watches the baby while I go to school. Up until now he wants to be apart of his life but not even so much. He takes him out once in a while but only when I take him. He doesn't ask for him or see how he I only if I mention to him that I need diapers or wife then he asks. So basically if I wouldn't call him he wouldn't even think about his son . The saddest part is that he lives 2 blocks away from my house. As of now he has a girlfriend and I have remained single. I feel as if I can't let my baby's father go and I wonder how he moved on so easily? Maybe he never loved me and it was lust. But one thing for sure was that I love him and possibly still do. I want to erase him out of my life but of course that is impossible. I have to admit he does give some type of effort once in a while but still. As a father or to be called one you have to earn that title. My son hates being with him cries and begs me to not leave him but since I go to college I have no choice. Recently I talked to my sisters and said if you still love your baby daddy you're really good at hiding it" and I started bursting out to tears. I probably am good at hiding my feeling but the feelings are there and I want them to go away. And. I think of all the horrible things that he did to me and I did to him but I can't understand myself. I've been talking to men who knows I have children and are okay with that but I push myself back because I don't think I'm ready to date or just to flirt or talk. I'm trying to find out myself more but I just don't know. One day I will eventually find someone that will make me happy and take all my misery away but until then I will continue to be the strong person that I am today

April - posted on 01/24/2014

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I'm curious too. I've been with my son father for about 4yrs going on 5. Well when he met me. He met me with 2 kids. At the time my oldest was 3 and my daughter 1. And my kids call him dad. Well our relationship was great. I would focus on my kids alot. And I guess I lack of attention on him and he found it some where else. He didnt want to talk to me at all at first. I believe it's his gf. His parents love me and check up on me. And suddenly he calls me to tell me he did wrong and knows I won't forgive him (he was cheating on me, and I had kick him out the house and took my truck away from him) now I'm a single mom of 3 children. And maybe 1. I'm still waiting till feb. 1. We had sex during end of my period and during my ovulation days we wanted a child. But this is when I didnt know about the woman. Well anyways. He called me and offer to pay my bills and buy my needs and I wonder why is he being so nice to me? I would think he would just be a jerk w me and when ask him why he can't give me an answer. I do love him still. I wish he had realize that his family wants him home. He stays w his parents. And I ready filed child support on him. And his gf now. She's a married woman that has 3 kids. And she works w him. I do compare myself to this woman. For example this woman has blonde hair. I had blonde hair but I color it. She color her eyebrows. I stop coloring my eye brows. (Eye Shadow technique) and my main focus is handling my kids. Managing my bills and mortgage payments and truck payments. And I feel like his doing this out of guilt. Does anybody have a baby father that is nice? Makes me wonder why? Most guys want to see their baby momma fall. And want to take custody of their child.

Lyn - posted on 01/18/2014

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You should check out EXaholics.com. Great resource for surviving a breakup. Check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDMuy-0ZFDs

Shanique - posted on 01/10/2014

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same thing is happening to me. all that matters are his girls and he hardly finds time for his child. its like the baby doesnt exist. ,like me and the baby were mistakes. it still hurts sometimes.

Lilanie - posted on 01/06/2014

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Being a Mother is not as easy job. I am in a complicated situation right now with the father of my child also but I am trying to be strong for the sake of my son . the father of my child and me are no longer living together, he left us when my baby is almost 4 mos not because that we quarrel,not because of money but because he is still immature. At first I thought I cannot do everything without the father of my baby, but I was wrong I did and I am raising my son very well as long as I could. I am happy right now raising my 1 year and 6mos old baby :) One thing I have learned from my experience is to be a good mother,strive more for your baby and always remember that there is always an answer in every problem we face most especially if we trust GOD . Take care and I know you can do it as far as we did. GOD BLESS you !

Lilanie - posted on 01/03/2014

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Hi Chloe,

All you have to do is to focus more on your baby. Let him do his part as a father. Sometimes Men ask for forgiveness but not sincere. I know you can do it!

Chloe - posted on 12/28/2013

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Hi I av a 6 month old daughter an Xmas eve her father left , he said he didn't love me like he used to , he said it's not me an he would never find anyone that cud fill my space , I no hell always be there for our daughter , but he's having sleepless nights an feels crap for wat he's done to us but can't help his feelings , he's broke my heart an I av to be strong but wats my next step x

Rosa - posted on 12/21/2013

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I'm in a similar situation.....I all live with my ex. He takes the basement and i take the master. I have 2 kids from a previous relationship and i will honestly say I never came into our relationship expecting a sugar daddy or another daddy for my girls. Even though my girls father is a straight dead beat. I provide in every way possible for children and will sacrafice what i need to in order to keep them staying happy. Currently I am pregnant with my most recent ex and I'm staying stress free and happy, even though i have a pretty good idea he is talking and have interests in another female, but my focus stays on my children and keeping myself healthy for iur baby. No time to stress or be depressed for some guy. I know in 4 years i was loyal, faithful and treated him the best i can. I treated our relationship like we were married, but i guess it wasn't good enough. I just wish him the best on his search for mrs. Right but I am going to continue to be string for all my children and stand strong because there maybe nobody to catch me when I fall. In my eyes the right guy will come along and if I'm not good enough for someone I'm good enough for myself and my kids. To the ladies in similar situations.... It's hard but focus on the good in life and know a man is not who keeps you standing on two feet, it's your own Strength! There aren't many men that will take a girl with numerous kids and with different baby father's or even girls with kids period, but there are a few. So, keep your head up!

Rachel - posted on 12/21/2013

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My daughter is now 7 years old. Her dad and I split up before she was born. Just 3 weeks before her birth, my mother passed away. My daughter came 3 weeks early. I had no time to process my mother's death, nor was I able to fly back East to be with family. So, needless to say, I was highly emotional after my daughter's birth. Her dad wanted to be part of her life and was even in the delivery room. But, he and I were clearly done.
After her birth, I had so many mixed emotions... One of them was of tremendous gratitude for him helping bring this amazing being into the world. I confused this feeling with feelings of love for him. He was emotionally unavailable to me and simply wanted his time with our daughter. In retrospect, I'm clear that I was not in love with him, but in love with being a mother. I focused my energies on my daughter and let him go.

Jasmen - posted on 12/19/2013

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my boyfriend and i were dating for about a year he cheated on me while i was pregnant and after the baby came i though maybe the baby would change him for the better but i guess not. we recently split up and we stay in to different cites which makes things even harder. I love him and I really wanna be with him but hes to busy trying to make it work with one of his ex's.. i honestly believe hes just not ready to grow up hes 20 and i just turned 24 hes not mature. but i really cant help how i feel but i really am trying to move on but he keeps on wheeling me back in ever time. he wants to have and eat his cake to when he got caught up he tried to say i was cheating and talking to other guys just so he wouldn't feel bad. its been a whole month and he haven't came to visit his child. my feeling are beyond hurt i cant eat i cant sleep i cant even think straight. every time i think about him and all the things he did to me my heart drops down in my stomach. its the worst feeling ever I didnt sign up fpr this now im a single mother taking care of my child by myself i mean he sends money for pamper but thats nothing compared to what i do sometimes i just wish i could go back to the day i met him and walk away but then i look at my son.. he was a blessing from god i just wanna get over him and move on with my life

Peg - posted on 12/03/2013

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I wouldn't give him another minute or would I feel bad. He is using you and keeping you on the hook just incase something doesn't work out with this other girl. Face it your are second choice and will be a second choice again and again if you ever do get back together temporarily. If you were it he would be there. It is time to actually start standing on your own two feet. Make yourself into a desirable single mom. Do you know what that is? It is a woman who is taking care of herself. Someone who is not on welfare or does not need a man to get by in this world. Someone who doesn't hook up just for the temporary benefits it might bring but someone who is extremely diserning about who they are with and who they expose their children to. Its time to grown up and GIRL UP. Your 150 times more than what a man makes you. A man can actually bring your value down if you stop being able to take care of yourself. Wait for the right one. The one that can't imagine a life without you. A man who loves doing for you and you love doing for him not because you think that by being perfect for him you will keep him. He needs to love you when you are giving, selfish, tired, sloppy, pretty, fat, skinny, teeth falling out. He needs to look at you the same way regardless of how you are. That is they guy that you keep. He needs to be the one that say's......stop crying about loosing your job. I've got it baby. Take a short break, regroup and look for another job. In the mean time I will work extra. That is the man you want and if he is not like that then he is not worth spit.

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Liz - posted on 11/13/2013

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I'm 18 and he's 21 . I got cheated on when I was pregnant . he tried to get back with his ex one month before my baby arrived. Now when we argue he talks to other girls. I stay at home for a whole day I have no car n it depresses me a lot. Hopefully I will forget about him one day in deserve better I been 100% faithful all I did was love him . let's be strong for our babies

Dannette - posted on 09/19/2013

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i have a 15 mouth old son. Me and his father broke up because i cheat on him. I still love him and he still love me but he want to think about get together again in five year and im scare im going to lose him foreven. but i tired if waiting are him i love him but i dont know what to do.

Johnson Adams - posted on 09/17/2013

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Johnson Adams - posted on 09/17/2013

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I am happy to report that my wife and I are now happily back together. I have to say it was effortlessly done! Within 72 hours, My wife is back in my life. My wife left me a year ago.with my two kids The longer she’s gone, the more I see what a jerk I was. At first, I blamed her for leaving. I told her she was ‘wrong’. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger make me only to pushed her farther away. I can’t believe the way I acted. My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her. I contacted Dr Great and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Dr Great was the one person whom I could completely trust. I just wanted to thank you for all your help! and I will always be using Dr.Great for further work in the future because he really put smile on my family again. We are now blissfully celebrating our Birthdays together. Thank you so much!!! For those who might also want to give him a try. Email him on bestgreatspell@gmail.com. you will never regret ever contacting him i wish all that will contact him best of luck

Johnson Adams - posted on 09/17/2013

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I am happy to report that my wife and I are now happily back together. I have to say it was effortlessly done! Within 72 hours, My wife is back in my life. My wife left me a year ago.with my two kids The longer she’s gone, the more I see what a jerk I was. At first, I blamed her for leaving. I told her she was ‘wrong’. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger make me only to pushed her farther away. I can’t believe the way I acted. My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her. I contacted Dr Great and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Dr Great was the one person whom I could completely trust. I just wanted to thank you for all your help! and I will always be using Dr.Great for further work in the future because he really put smile on my family again. We are now blissfully celebrating our Birthdays together. Thank you so much!!! For those who might also want to give him a try. Email him on bestgreatspell@gmail.com. you will never regret ever contacting him i wish all that will contact him best of luck

Johnson Adams - posted on 09/17/2013

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I am happy to report that my wife and I are now happily back together. I have to say it was effortlessly done! Within 72 hours, My wife is back in my life. My wife left me a year ago.with my two kids The longer she’s gone, the more I see what a jerk I was. At first, I blamed her for leaving. I told her she was ‘wrong’. In fact, I slapped Scripture on her, trying to guilt-induce her any way I could. My anger make me only to pushed her farther away. I can’t believe the way I acted. My wife gave me chance after chance, and I ignored her. I contacted Dr Great and within a few minutes of speaking with him, I realized that Dr Great was the one person whom I could completely trust. I just wanted to thank you for all your help! and I will always be using Dr.Great for further work in the future because he really put smile on my family again. We are now blissfully celebrating our Birthdays together. Thank you so much!!! For those who might also want to give him a try. Email him on bestgreatspell@gmail.com. you will never regret ever contacting him i wish all that will contact him best of luck

Shari - posted on 09/16/2013

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let me tell you my story and then you will be shock and get over your baby daddy. I have a one year old daughter with my baby daddy and I am not with him. to start you off I was 16 when I started dating my baby's father who was 22 at the time , and we had the best relationship, we never fought, never argued and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. When I met him he already had a 3 year old son. the child's mother was in another country and I basically took care of the baby. for that year that I was with him I practically raised him. I was fine with him having a child and so were my parents knew and they didn't mind as long as he respected me. after a year of being together I got pregnant. when I told him he didn't want to talk to me. so when he finally decided to talk to me, he told me to have an abortion. I was divested. I didn't know what to do and I told him I was not going to have an abortion. so I moved in with him and then that's when my relationship started going down the drain. he didn't want to touch me, hug me, and all he did was talk to the mother of his son. well I decided to go back home because he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I am not lying but I had the worst pregnancy ever. I cried every day. he ignored me he never helped me buy anything for the baby. his family was supporting me but he was a total scumbag. one day about a month before my daughter was born he left and moved to Honduras to be with his son's mom and his son. he did not tell me anything. I found out when his family told me. well the baby was born and I was determined to not let him know anything about her. they send him pictures and he would write to me asking me for forgiveness and to let him see the baby when he came back. idk maybe because it was girl and supposal girls are daddy's prize possessions but he would not leave me alone. well me being so nice started informing him about the baby. one day he told me that him and his family were moving back the United States I was shocked. I did not want baby momma drama and her starting things with me because we previously always argued. and the surprise was that he was coming back with her pregnant !!!! so they got here and I let him see the baby. I cried he cried and it was so touching but then the fights started. that he would not give me money that he had to provide for his family. so my hate started growing towards him. one day he started helping me out with 200 dollars monthly which is not helpful at all. I did not argue with him because I knew that I still loved him. so he sat down and spoke to me and I would meet up with him and the baby so he could see her. then he started getting all sweet with me and me like a dumbass let him. he saw a different me because I would get dressed look al pretty something he never saw before. till one day I put a stop to it !!!!!!! you can not be a mans second choice. I gave him so many chances and he did not take them. he wants to be with me because supposedly he loves me and his daughter needs him but I said noooooo... mind that he is still with his other woman and has two boys with her. i still love him a lot and care for him but i am no ones second option. soo you need to move on. its the best, it is hard but there will be someone to love you and your child.

Christine Micere - posted on 09/15/2013

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I can identify with you,i am going throught the same though i think my case is even worse,i met my baby daddy when i was angaged and living with my boyfriend for 3years,my fiance and i really wanted a baby but it wasnt forth coming,i visited the gynaecolgist for check up who said that i was completly ok but he gave me fertility pills for assurance,on the other hand my fiance didnt go for check up,his ego couldnt allow him,he started being abusive saying i didnt want to give him a baby i even resigned from my job to stay with him because he was saying distance was the issue and we used to meet when i wasnt ovulating but i knew this wasnt true but i just went to clear his doubts.6months after i moved to where he was staying and working and still no preganncy our relationship became worse he satrted cheating on me and treating me badly.i looked for employment again and i got some contract for two months on this job i found this amazing man who wanted to date me i told him i was engaged but he wouldnt hear of it he pursed me but he didnt succeed,but before the two months were over i decided to ask him to make me pregnant coz i really wanted a child and didnt want to reach 30yrs and childless so he said that was no problem,i am 28 and he is 27,my fiance is 40yrs.so i got pregnant and when i went back home i told my fiance and told him that i was ready to leave,i was fed up with his abusive nature insults and cheating,i was ready to start my own life,but he wouldnt let me he pleaded that i stay he said maybe he could never ever get a baby of his own and that we would raise this one together,i pitied him and stayed mean while the one who made me pregnant had already started making arangements that we move in together but i dissapointed him big time when i told him we perched things with my fiance and i was no longer going to live him.so he continued with his galfried who i didnt know he had until i told him i was back with my fiance.

In january this year i gave birth to my daughter and after 3months i found out that my fiance never changed ifanct he stepped up his game cheating on me left right and centre he even tried hiting on my sister but fortunately nothing happened when i knew about this i was so devastated i asked him why and he said he has never gotten over the fact that i got pregnant with someone else,i knew then i was time for me to leave and leave for good.

I called my baby daddy and told him my he encouraged me to leave him and start off my own life and he said he woul be there to support us,but he is still with his galfriend,so now am living on my own with my daughter he comes to see almost daily except when he is working but he is still seeing his galfriend but he tells me that he is going to break up with her and start a family with us.
QUESTION.do you think he is going to leave his galfriend for us?????

NELLY.

Ariel - posted on 09/03/2013

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I am very sorry this is happening to you. Guys who treat women like they're disposable are true scumbags, even though they can be charming, wonderful, and make you fall for them. I'd say don't let that guy "play" you, from one girl who's been played to another, it's time for you to stick up for yourself and your kiddo and be a strong woman. You are NOT helpless, you have resources. If you let him convince you to wait for him he is playing you to the left. I'd strongly recommend that you don't enable him to continue stringing you along and keeping you there for his "plan B" as soon as things don't work out with his current affair. No good can come of it, he will just hurt you again. He clearly doesn't deserve you and would be a terrible example to his child of how to act in a relationship, disrespecting you in such a way! Good luck, I'm rooting for you.

Jackie - posted on 08/03/2013

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Similar thing happened to me as well. Just remember you can never trust him if he did that to you so it's best for you and your daughter to move on. It's so hard but will be worth it in the long run :) good luck girl

Dizzy - posted on 05/20/2013

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Josie thank u for giving me more hope: I am going thru several situations. Thank u once again.

Debbie - posted on 05/17/2013

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I had the same happen to me I spilt with my baby's dad when I was 7mths pregnant
Our son was 4weeks old when I let my ex see his son and it was very hard for me to let him keep seeing his son as I was still in love with my ex.
Over time I learnt to deal with it now our son is 3 yr old we have talked heaps more and we are back together and I couldn't be more happy although we don't plan on living together for awhile as I have 2 older children that are not his.
So we just taking it easy and slow which is good.
So my advice is that it will take time and its not easy but just be patient

Emma - posted on 05/12/2013

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hi before my first son was born me and his dad wasn't together but i started to get feelings for him so i stopped what we where doing and a few weeks later i found out i was pregnant and i was on my own with my son he didn't want to know and now 5 and a half years latter he is seeing his son and me and him have just starting talking to each other and the feelings have come back that i started to get for him years ago and i don't know what to do now xxxxxx

Kiara - posted on 04/18/2013

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I have a 3 year old little boy his name is Jordan. His daddy Brandon is coming back into his life. Brandon left because we were young I was 16 and he was 19. We wasn't ready to b parents. I'm 20 now and I've met someone else I am or should I say was engaged to a man name Michael. I decided to take a break because he is way to demanding. And while I been on this break I've been thinking and talking to my Babydaddy he has really changed and he has been spending some time with Jordan am I wrong for all this. And I wrong for still having feelings for my baby's father or taking a break because my use to be fiancé is to demanding please someone tell me

Mica - posted on 04/10/2013

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I have a 1 munth old baby girl, me n my ex split up in october when i was pregnant a munth later he got with his best friends girlfriend hu he has known for 10 years she was a close friend of mine she used to do my hair, me n my ex was together 2 years i moved to his moms we went in holiday together i grew very attached to his mum n family but when i fell pregnant he started goin out drinkin n i was naggin all time he says i pushed him away i found out he was with my friend a week before i had my daughter i was devistaded everything is still fresh, and hes moved in with his girlfriend now n they say they love eachother n r very happy together he was at the birth of the baby n was very supportive towards me he cane to c baby at my house for a hour everyday but his gilfriend wouldt let him come on his own he had to b with his cousin hu i get on with very well after a week he stopped comin he would make excusess or was very late i gave him chance after chance, his girlfriend called r baby a brat n he stood by her n sed u shouldt of called my gf this n tht which rly upset me cuz hes her dad n should stand up for her, yes i do still have feelings for him everythin is still very fresh it hasnt healed yet now she is stoppin him cin his child n he is happy with tht she doesnt let him do alot of things and he has to lie to her bout his wherebouts when hes with me or his daughter for example at the registration can i have sum advice on wt to do ??

Chantelle - posted on 10/28/2012

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I'm 18 years old and currently 6 months pregnant with a baby boy named Carsyn. About a month ago my babies father and the love of my life Taylor decided to make my life a living hell.. He works 6 hours away in Rocanville and about a month ago things with us started to get tense and we fought quite a bit, but I was upset that he was hiding what he was doing out at work ad going behind my back! So I broke up with him, realizing what I did I wanted him back! So I decided to try and talk to him but he refused to answer so I drove to Rocanville to talk. 6 months pregnant and making the 6 hour drive he refused to meet up so I was forced to drive back. 12 hours of driving for absolutely nothing. After ignoring me for almost a month he agreed to have a conversation. But first I found a pair of girls sunglasses that apparently just showed up there, second he had said that he went on a 10 day bing, and spent over 2000 on alcohol. Almost loosing his job! And now that he's in town I found out he has been going to the bar here as well when he doesn't even have enough money for anything! This situation with my babies father has made me crazy! I can't handle it. Im Hurting so bad knowing that he doesn't want to be with me and he can go out like normal and I can't! I have to sacrifice so much so young and doing it alone is killing me. I have great friends and family! But I need some advice because I'm still hurting!!!!!!

Marie - posted on 10/13/2012

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I have a son and we have been hanging out every Saturday with his daddy. Now he wants to only to spend time with my son.how can I tell if he loves me or not? I've been in love with him for three years now.I feel like he must have some for hanging out so long or am I wrong.

Michelle - posted on 03/09/2009

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Providing material things is not what means the most.  Quality time is what is most important.  He is doing what he thinks he must do and what he wants to do.  You need to think about what is best for your beautiful daughter.  A consistant stable life filled with love and support is what she needs.  Have faith.  God knows what's best for you and your daughter.  He evidently is not it.  God has something better for you and your daughter!!  You are doing all that you can.  You should not be loosing sleep over someone who doesn't  seem to want to take on the real role of a father.  Him being lukewarm is no good!  I had similar feelings when I broke up with my son's father.  He is three now and I realize what a mistake it would have been to stay in something that doesn't work.  Me and my son are both very happy without him.  I will pray and wait for God to send someone who will love me and my son.  Neither of you need a temporary situation.  It will get better!  Don't worry about what he's doing.  Try to provide the best environment for your beautiful baby girl!  Be blessed!

Tiffany - posted on 03/09/2009

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i would really like to thank all you ladies for the advice that you have given me it is really starting to slowly get better.

Veronica - posted on 02/14/2009

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Hello Tiffany, first of all Id like to say that I am sorry that you and your child are having to go through this. Like most of the women who have responded they are right in many of the remarks they have stated and I do agree. I come to you as a single mother, a divored wife and a mommy who has been doing it alone for quite a while. I tell you first of all it was very devistating, hard tiresome and many times I wanted to give up. It took me a very long time to forgive him and not to hate him. I came back into my relationship with Christ and through Him I found the answers that I needed through my prayers and dilligence to come out of that dark place. So what I am sayin is, ask the Lord to restore your peace and joy, forgive him, becasue without forgiveness you will remain n that same condition, and ask God to meet all your needs. I am praying for you and with you that God has began to restore you in every area of your life. I love you and I pray that you are doing much better today.



Veronica

Barbie - posted on 02/14/2009

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I total agree with everone on here as well. My daughter's father is now no longer in the picture. I was cheating on my the whole nine yrs we were together. You need to focus on you and your daughter. Some one on here said it right he wants his cake and eat it too. You are some much better than that and deserve better than that and so doesnt your daughter.

Paris - posted on 02/13/2009

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hi i went through a similar situation but my ex was violent wen he was drunk lucky for me my mom was staying with us the night we broke up if it wasnt for her id still be in that situation. he stressed me out my whole pregnancy told me what i could and couldnt wear and what friends i could have. We broke up on a tuesday night 7th october 2008 almost 2 months after we got engaged  but the night after we split up he had his ex before me over and slept with her. it hurt alot and i was depressed for days and didnt eat for 3 days but with my family supporting me i soon got over it i also found that talking with a trusted friend or your family helps alot.



 



My ex helped me get over him when he kept sending txts saying sorry but the one that pushed me away was one where he told me that his son would send him bankrupt a month after he is born.



 



Im not saying its easy but with love and support from family and friends ull find that it will get easier as time goes on and i would sugest cutting all contact with him for a while coz that will help to

Elaine - posted on 02/12/2009

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He's playing games with you, sorry! He wants his cake and to eat it. I'm talking from being involved with a guy like this for 19 years (wasted) Yes, he also paid for all the materalistic things, but that doesn't make the heart ache any else. I've eventually put distance between us and I'm not saying it'll happen over night, but try move on. It's better for you and your daughter and it's amazing how men work...the minute they see you moving on.....they want you back and until they actually make that commitment - don't give in :-) Best of luck

Becky - posted on 02/11/2009

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Quoting Tiffany:

All of theses responses help me but becky I can relate to you more. I was living with him for the past 3 months and he would give me mixed signals all the time, one minute he would act of in love and then turn around the next day and change on me. The girl would call his phone all day and text all day. He was even having sex with her and me at the same time and that hurt. So I recently got fed up and moved back in with my parents as well. he goes on and on about how I want let him see her now that I am back home and that is so far from the truth.m I am breaking my neck driving back and forth for him to see her and he does shows her of to others maybe play with her for two hours and is out the door with that broad or whoever. I do need the distance and plus once I finf another job it will help keep my mind occupied i hope but thank you so much.



 



If you ever want to talk privately feel free to message me privately on here but like I said I do know how you feel. He was using my phone and car to be with other females along with my apartment and it really disgusted me  when I found out the whole truth. A job definitely will help for you and keeping occupied just dont get yourself so busy that you are running away from your feelings. I tried keeping myself real busy so that I didn't have time to think but then when I would get a free minute all the emotions would just flood me so I just had to deal with my feelings a lil at a time and like I said I still love him but I don't let those feelings of love, anger, and hurt bother me anymore cuz I know it wasn't me but it's him.



Barbie - posted on 02/11/2009

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I have a six yr old daughter and her father did and said the same things to me. It is hard at first to get over him and let him go. When he comes around and helps you feel special and you are like oh my god he is going to be there for us. But the big picture now is you and your child. Focus on you and her first and if he wants to be there let him figure that out on his own. With my daughters father i gave him chance after chance and now he choses his drugs, booze and friends and girls over her. He hasn't been around in two years and it just caused alot of problems between me and my baby girl. We are both now in counseling. So close the door with him for now and work on you and your beautiful gift and forget him. You and her are the most important right now

Shawna - posted on 02/11/2009

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Don't stress out about getting over the feelings you have for your ex.  Instead, spend your time and energy working on how to deal with the feelings that are there.  I you spend so much time focusing on how to "rid" of the feelings, you actually spend a lot of time thinking and focusing on the very thing you are trying to avoid.  Rely on friends and those people who lift you up and remind you that you are awesome!  Good luck and remember the best is yet to come

Shawna - posted on 02/11/2009

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Don't stress out about getting over the feelings you have for your ex.  Instead, spend your time and energy working on how to deal with the feelings that are there.  I you spend so much time focusing on how to "rid" of the feelings, you actually spend a lot of time thinking and focusing on the very thing you are trying to avoid.  Rely on friends and those people who lift you up and remind you that you are awesome!  Good luck and remember the best is yet to come

Tiffany - posted on 02/11/2009

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All of theses responses help me but becky I can relate to you more. I was living with him for the past 3 months and he would give me mixed signals all the time, one minute he would act of in love and then turn around the next day and change on me. The girl would call his phone all day and text all day. He was even having sex with her and me at the same time and that hurt. So I recently got fed up and moved back in with my parents as well. he goes on and on about how I want let him see her now that I am back home and that is so far from the truth.m I am breaking my neck driving back and forth for him to see her and he does shows her of to others maybe play with her for two hours and is out the door with that broad or whoever. I do need the distance and plus once I finf another job it will help keep my mind occupied i hope but thank you so much.

Becky - posted on 02/11/2009

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I agree with the others you will need to put distance between you and the father. My baby daddy broke up with me after 2 yrs of me holding him down while he was in prison and said he needed his space. Well he moved in with me so I thought we had a good chance at getting back together. He finally said he would date me but wanted it to be an open relationship in which I agreed cuz I knew he had dated at least one female since his release. After this agreement 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant where he demanded an abortion. I found out right after the birth of our son he had been dating a girl and several others all at the same time I was pregnant. We got in a fight he got arrested and I moved back in with my parents. I cried myself to sleep every night missing him and wishing that we was together sometimes I couldn't even look at my son or take care of him cuz I missed his father so much. But to make this end in November we got in a huge fight once again and I completely cut him off by changing my phone number and blocking him online plus he has no car so he's not able to come see his child since then I've became stronger as a person but a mother. Just a week ago I decided to startin talking to the father again yes I miss him and would like to be with him but I now know now if its meant to be it will happen but I have to live my life and be strong. I finally understand the father of my child is immature and not ready to be a real man and a father and I had to accept that. Sorry if so long but I've gone through 2 years of pain and torture hoping that the father of my child would get back with me and I know how you feel and how hard it is to let go.

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