How do you forget your ex? Tips to deal with ex-phoria

Markéta - posted on 01/18/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

28

0

0

When you are the one who got dumped, of course you know perfectly well that it is a good riddance, that you don´t wanna be with someone who doesn´t want to be with you and that you deserve someone much much better. But how do you actually start to FEEL this way?

How do you make the small part of yourself, that is whinning and longing for your ex to call, e-mail or (heavens forbid!) express a genuine repentance and desire to return to you, how do you make it just SHUT UP? Let´s share your tips:)

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jennifer - posted on 01/18/2012

448

72

38

Honestly.. I just write and get honest with my feelings in a journal and with my closest trusted friend. I write letters and keep them locked away (you know those things you never had a chance to say).. then I move on. I don't believe in escaping so my way is very unpopular .. I find more healing in being real and I can then better comfort others and connect on real levels.. I express anger honestly but I NEVER allow myself room to stay that way.. Being honest and reflectant has helped me know myself more and understand (believe it or not).. the other persons position. The journey to forgiveness and letting go is a bumpy one and whoever says another guy is the answer is not dealing with themselves. I also do not deny myself time to have a small glass of red wine.. take a class you always wanted to and mind the company I keep.. I like affirmation but I have learned to stear clear of gossips and those who wold rather meddle then support (you will know them by their interrogation methods) .. loving yourself comes from the inside out. And this is the beginning of finding yourself.. its painful (be honest).. rejection stings all of us.. but its also very eye opening. You would be surprised with good counsel and honesty how dealing with the past actually brings joy to your "now".. I can't give you details for you as to what makes you happy.. but I can say you can start discovering some things about yourself during this time.. rejection is an open doorway to a new way at looking at acceptance. I personally like books, classes where I learn about new subjects and getting active with my son's activities and such.. in my last big kick I discovered that I actually have a great way with drawing again and that I love my alone time now.. equally as much as my friends.. and that I am going to be finishing my degree. Get involved in things that are "giving".... I have a role in Parents against bullying.. engage your mind and your heart.. you will also start to feel less "sunk" in emotions and start to really welcome them in a healthy way.. honesty keeps you from getting hard.. I embrace my tears (although the majority of the world see this as a sign of weakness).. I have embraced it as a great strength and sign that I still have human flesh beating heart in me that has a cpacity to take my experiences and bring healing and help to others.. No 12 steps sorry!!! Just my way.. if you have discovered some other please share! :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

2 Comments

View replies by

Jennifer - posted on 01/18/2012

448

72

38

Oh and LAUGH!!!!! I laugh at the stupid things I said and did!! Its so funny.. get around laughter.. good real and healthy laughter... boy!!! Laughter at myself and my ways and how I just miss the obvious is well.. funny and we all make mistakes, we all are in this thing called life.. don't let those who appear to have it all together fool you.. they poop too ;).. one time I caught myself gauking at this really striking guy at the gas station.. I am not even a gauker.. but man he was striking.. as I was doing so.. I leaned into the potato chip aisle as to hide (he was really that nice to look at).. and I tipped the whole rack over... not only did I blush.. he blushed for me and I said "Hi.. umm.. I like chips"... REALLY? sure he may have rode into the sunset with a disgust for the "potato chip girl" but I bet he laughed a little or at least I did.. and I even put in a scene for my screenplay.. REAL LIFE IS FUNNY!! Oh the people we are at times and the ones we meet.. THATS FUNNY!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms