How do you go from single mom to re-married mom?

Elizabeth - posted on 11/23/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




So, I had been a single mom for some years. I got divorced and had NOTHING! I lived off food stamps and cash assistance for the first six months after I got divorced. Needless to say it was really hard (as I'm sure most of you know). I finally got a job and started making my own path for my kids and myself. It was an amazing feeling! Then a little over a year ago I met this man, who is absoultey increadable! We dated and things kept gettng more serious, and then he proposed! Without a second thought I said yes, he has a son from a previous marriage and is awesome with my kids.. Oh, and wonderful to me ;)! With all this being said, now comes the issue of combining everything (ie. money, furniature etc.). I remember how hard it was when I got divorced from my kids father, and I dont want to revisit that. I don't want to be pesamistic about this marriage, and I'm not. It's just this little voice in the back of my head telling to be scared... Any thoughts?


Tiffani - posted on 11/23/2009




Of course we are going to be scared because all the struggles we went through to get where we are and the feeling has a lot to do with security. But how are we to truely be happy if we are always living in fear sometimes it takes a leap of faith to find happiness. The trust has to be there as well as good communication otherwise what do you have? Should you punish this man, yourself, or this marriage for that matter based on your first marriage and the issues that arose? I don't know from experience because I am still single raising my girls but my fears are more based on my girls and someone else coming into the picture! But I do feel as if we short change ourselves by holding onto these fears. We become overly picky when we should give things and others a chance. These fears of abandonment only open room for doubt and then we tend to forget the good we saw in the first place and look for things to make it not work. So if you are in love and the willingness to remarry came without a second thought when you said yes then do it with a whole heart and leave the doubt behind because then you can truley say you gave your all toward the marriage. The first marriage was a life lesson and taught you courage, strength, belief in yourself, and the ability to pull through therefore you have the experience and knowledge to know how to make it but don't base your next marriage on the fact it may not make it from the start it is a journey for the both of you he maybe just as scared especially having his own child from a previous marriage. Team work is what it takes!

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