i am a single mom and my babys dad want to start taking him over night

Tiffany - posted on 02/03/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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i am a single mom and my babys dad want to start taking him over night but my son has been with me since he was born and his dad didnt want anything to do with me while i was pregnant til he seen the baby and seen that it was his child. he only has him like 2 days a week wat do i do.

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Jessica - posted on 02/21/2010

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i disagree with debbie, from personal experience, you cant just let your child go wherever especiaaly if you dont see the person as trustworthy, even if it is the childs father. As a mother and a single mother at that ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILTY to protect your child under any circumstances!! and the 'father' wanted nothing to do with her for awhile now, meaning if he really wanted to fullfill his position as a father, he would have done it as soon as she got pregnant. you cant just ultimitely decide years later that you all of a sudden want to be a parent. Its not fair to her child either. She has done everything for that little boy of hers, where was he?

Debbie - posted on 02/09/2010

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from past experience....first of all how old is your son?does he know his dad?do you trust his dad?I know it could be nerveracking the first time but if your son wants to go and you know where he'll be I say let him.You don't want your son thinking you kept him from spending time with his dad and they do need their time alone as father and son.

Apreal - posted on 02/09/2010

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Hey there, I recently went through this. My son's father isnt very stable but feels like he should have time with him one on one w/ o me. I was so against this but Iwant them to have relationship, period. I told his dad we can start off with one day and then after a while see how it goes, cause honestly I need a break to do homework and just hear my self breathe. But we have been doin this for two weeks and no prob so far. My son is three but he is my only, I say you set the ground rules cause the baby is w/ u full time.

Katria - posted on 02/08/2010

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Well how it is in Arkansas is if your not married the mother automatically gets sole custody of the child. If you push for child support state automatically withholds it from his paycheck. Visitation starts at 1 hour then gradually moves up an hour each month but no over nights until the child is at least 3 years old with a 1 year clean bill of health. He can refuse visitation but so can you if you determine to the court that he is an unfit father or lives in an unfit environment. If they don't take it it will be supervised and where ever you want it to be and when. Good luck!

Laurie - posted on 02/07/2010

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after the legal part is established jordan is right==u must decide if he is trustworthy==but having daddy in your childs life is a good thing for them but i will be honest it may give you some stressful moments. but then your child will be able to decide for themselves about what they think of daddy.

Jordan - posted on 02/07/2010

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well i guess the question u need to ask urself is if u trust him to keep ur son over night?! i have the same problem...but i asked myself if i could trust my kids father and the answer is no so he doesnt keep them...and do u trust the ppl hes around...just ask urself those questions and ull find ur answer. sorry i cant help u more...i hope and pray ull make the right choice..

Kristy - posted on 02/07/2010

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The first thing you need to do is get some sort of legal advice.



Honestly though, the best thing I ever did was let my son's father be a part of his life, my boy is now 2 1/2 and has a great relationship with his dad. And I have a babysitter if I need it!!!!!!

Laurie - posted on 02/06/2010

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first of all i hope you have custody of your child worked out with your domestic relations agency. if you dont they should be able to help you to get this established along with a reasonable visitation with the father. this will give you some legal protection if the baby's father ever wants to give you problems about custody. second of all--is the baby's father responsible--many talk the talk but can't handle the first bout of teething or chilhood illnesses, does he have a supportive family that will help him if needs be when he has the baby?. there is alot to consider--please talk to someone about this.

Amanda - posted on 02/04/2010

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Give him that chance to be a father for your child's sake i regret my mom letting my father be there for me and i find it different and your child will thank you in the future no matter how much you might hate this ,,, because trust me im not ready for that either but my sons father is deployed but i know sooner or later it must happen ... no matter what happened between you too its not about you guys anymore its about the baby and i have just come to terms with that recently and trust me i dont like it either still now but i know in my heart that i have to learn not to be selfish and take responcibilty and be the better person for my son and only for him.

Heather - posted on 02/04/2010

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That's a tough one. My ex and I broke up while I was still pregnant, and we did NOT get along until my daughter was about 6 months old. I told him that if he wanted to be part of her life that was fine, but he couldn't just come and go. To my surprise, he stayed very involved in her life. She's now 3 y/o and spends every other weekend with him (he lives about 90 miles away). How old is your son? Does your ex live close by? I didn't let my ex take my daughter overnight until she was over 1 year old, and he still lived in the same town as me at that time. The biggest thing for me to overcome was that no matter what MY feelings were toward her dad, she loves him and I think they both benefit from their relationship. Good luck! I know how tough it can be!

Tiffany - posted on 02/03/2010

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I wouldnt let him take him over night till his father can prove to you that he wants to be in his life. After so long and he proves to you that he does, then maybe the two of you can sit down and talk about it, and whats best for the little one.

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