I love my kids but Im sick of doing it al;one.

Kim - posted on 07/19/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm really sick of being the bad guy while my ex gets to do all the fun stuff with them. I try to bring them to fun outings but with school and living on a budget it doesn't happen often. How can be less of a disciplinarian and being more the fun mom. By the way my ex has no interest in the kids day to day life and only see's them on Sundays from 2-4 that's if he makes it. :-( Any comments would be appreciated.
Thanks

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Ashley - posted on 07/21/2009

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i know exactly where you are coming from, my ex gets the kids one day a month if im "lucky" and when he does have them they do whatever they want stay up as late as they want and eat crap!! then they come home and i get to deprogram them and deal with the fall out!! not fair, they think if they pay child support, they arent obligated to actually be there for their kids?! its mind blowing really.... i do what i can, take them to the park, take them for walks after dinner, just try to make our own simple memories that i pray will outlast the brief, random rendevous that they have with him. i tell myself that one day they will know that even though i didnt have the money to do all of the really cool stuff they wanted, i was there when it REALLY counted.... you have to beleive that they will know who read the stories, sat through the homework , kissed the booboos, cuddled when they were sick, held them when they cried, comforted during nightmares, and was just there in general. its these small things that make them know that they are truly loved, even if they are too young to realize that right now.... and also i find great comfort in the fact that all the time he spends doing whatever it is that he does to occupy his empty life, i am creating memories with my children that he will never have and he is wasting precious moments with them that he can never get back.... dont know if this helps but i hope it does:)

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Lilly - posted on 07/21/2009

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even if the man lived with you i think you would be doing it all alone. so my point is ,your not missing anything. carry on doing a good job. kids will know this when thet are older

Rebecca - posted on 07/19/2009

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do u by chance no that u are not alone i too am the bad person i am with my kids 24 -7 and he sees them everyother weekend and he pays me child support whoo hoo a whopping $115.00 a week that dont get much... and i have gotton my kids a membership at our local ymca for something fun for them too do i dont drive and he sees them everyother weekend 3 weeks out of the summer month and everyother holiday other than that he dont take time to see them when ever ...either. im on a fixed income and well although my kids ages are 15 yrs to 14 yrs and 12 yrs old. they exspect alot from me and its like i said to them im not the one with the job im here to help get u by and that is about all i can do but he doesnt have suffecient rooms for them to sleep in my 2 kids that see him? they sleep in the living room... ya isnt that nice? a 1bedroom apt. here i have beds and what not for him but ur local y should offer some help for ya and if u have one sign up for a membership u can get for low assistance as well. hope that helps ya go to the park if u have one and have a family day out. make it fun with games and what have u.... let them be them selves for that day . are kids love us no matter if we are the rulers or fun ppls they still need us he will see his dad for whom he is....good luck

Rebecca - posted on 07/19/2009

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do u by chance no that u are not alone i too am the bad person i am with my kids 24 -7 and he sees them everyother weekend and he pays me child support whoo hoo a whopping $115.00 a week that dont get much... and i have gotton my kids a membership at our local ymca for something fun for them too do i dont drive and he sees them everyother weekend 3 weeks out of the summer month and everyother holiday other than that he dont take time to see them when ever ...either. im on a fixed income and well although my kids ages are 15 yrs to 14 yrs and 12 yrs old. they exspect alot from me and its like i said to them im not the one with the job im here to help get u by and that is about all i can do but he doesnt have suffecient rooms for them to sleep in my 2 kids that see him? they sleep in the living room... ya isnt that nice? a 1bedroom apt. here i have beds and what not for him but ur local y should offer some help for ya and if u have one sign up for a membership u can get for low assistance as well. hope that helps ya go to the park if u have one and have a family day out. make it fun with games and what have u.... let them be them selves for that day . are kids love us no matter if we are the rulers or fun ppls they still need us he will see his dad for whom he is....good luck

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