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I NEED help

Rose - posted on 08/13/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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So this may be long as there is 7 years of history! I would seriously appreciate any help and guidance I can get! So my boyfriend and I were together since we were 15 and I got pregnant when I was 17 and had my son when I was 18...everything was perfect until my son was about 3 months old. Little things I should have noticed like him going out a lot and texting other girls. We always made it through our issues. About 2 years ago he left me and dated someone else...it was the hardest worst thing I have EVER gone through. He put me through hell for 2 months...after about 2 months with this girl as soon as he saw me moving on and happy he came back and stupid me took him back too soon. Since than I have dealt with him texting numerous girls, he is addicted to pot and start smoking a pack of cigs a day (something he never smoked before) he is so behind on his bills he has collectors coming after him and he just ignores it...its almost like responsibility and family mean nothing to him. He moved out about a year ago and 45 mins away with a friend who was recently single...I feel thats where things went very wrong. He wouldnt come here as often and he would ignore texts/calls.I always threaten breaking up but its to the point where obviously he doesnt take me seriously. I live in his parents basement suite I was a stay at home mom and now Im at the point where he cant even tell me if he wants to move out with me or not let alone be with me...he has mentioned to me before he doesnt think Ill ever leave him. I just dont understand why he wouldnt want to be with us. It breaks my heart to think of breaking up as the best possible solution. I dnt know why hes so distant lately and we dont live together so the only thing I can think of is anoher girl but I seriously doubt that. I just think Ive let him go too long thinking that he can see my son and I when HE chooses and he can go out and do as he pleases with whoever and in the end I will always be there. I know its so easy to say leave him but we all know its easy to say but the hardest to do. Im just so lost

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Rose - posted on 08/13/2012

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I have considered the next time he calls just saying I found some places we can go look at and if hes really not interested I just need to tell him that Ive heard and seen all I need too and I can no longer stand by and try anymore. I from that point on will not answer any calls or texts unless they have to do with our son.

Jennifer - posted on 08/13/2012

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I know this is hard, but the advise i can give you is....next time he calls even if your busy or not tell him you have other things planned so you can't see him at that time. Makes it so your not always readily available to him. I think it is probably time you move on WITHOUT him and find happiness for you and your son. If it is meant to be it will happen after he matures a little bit.

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