i tell my two year old no and she laughs at me!!!!!!!

Beth - posted on 05/27/2012

She's pushing boundaries and this is how she's choosing to do it at the moment. Remember who's in charge in the relationship. Remember to use your time outs etc.. One thing I found useful was to say something along the lines of 'No, you are not allowed to do/have that because ...., if you carry on then this will happen .......'. That way my girls knew that I gave no for a reason, and had a choice - either move on to something else or face the consequences.

Also make sure that you have a 'no' voice and a 'yes' voice, so that she learns the difference and realises that no means no.

Don't bother with smacking - it isn't as effective as other methods, and then you will have the issue of telling her off for hitting people/objects, telling her off. Then she'll come back with something along the lines of 'you tell me not to hit, but you hit me'. Young children see hitting/smacking as one and the same - whether it is done in spite, discipline etc., hitting is still hitting.

Another useful tool for dealing with your daughter - use the 'when-then' technique. Basically say something along the lines of 'when you have/stopped doing x, then we/you can do y'. That way it lets her know what's going to happen next after the first thing has been done.

Susannah - posted on 05/25/2012

When you tell her "no" make sure you say it in a stern voice and with a serious face.



As cute as it may be sometimes when a toddler shows defiance it will only get worse with age-a defiant 12 year old is not as adorable as she thinks she is.



Just be consistent and do not smile or play when you are trying to discipline. When you say you are going to do something follow through.



But really, she is only 2. She has been on this planet 24 very short months. Her job at this point in her life is testing boundaries. And your job at this point in her life and showing her where those boundaries begin and end. You are both learning and growing and it will probably get worse before it gets better. But it will get better!

Connie - posted on 05/24/2012

I believe we try to talk too much to two year- olds. Say it, explain it once, then make it happen. It does not matter if the child is laughing. That is just her attempt to manipulate you. Speak calmly and put her in time out. If she gets up, sit her back down. Set a kitchen timer and if she gets up, the time-out starts over. If she is screaming say calmly "your time-out doesn't start until you are quiet." BE CONSISTENT! Make sure the rules are always the same, and the consequences are always the same. And don't over use time-outs. When possible, make the consequences related to the offense. If she makes a mess have her clean it up. If she throws her cup, don't give it back to her until the next snack or meal time.

Allison - posted on 06/25/2011

While she probably doesn't mean to be insulting you with her laughter, most kids want to say no when they are told to do something. It's a way to assert control over their situation. If you can give her choices in smaller areas of life, she probably will be more likely to listen to the bigger things. I used to have a terrible time getting my son to bed, and then I started giving him choices: walk to the tub or have me carry him, get dressed on the changing table or the floor, wear blue or green pajamas, which book to read, turn out the light or have mommy turn out the light... and anything else I could think of. If he doesn't want to do something, like put away his books, then I say, "We can get a snack as soon as you put away your books," or "We can play with the cars as soon as you put away your books." This way he has a choice. As long as the choice is OK with you (the world won't end if he doesn't eat a snack or if he can't play with his cars), then the choice is good. When he had a tantrum in Walmart the other day, I calmly said, "Boy, if I cry like that, my throat hurts and I get thirsty. I don't think I'd choose to scream like that, but it's up to you." He stopped crying to ask for water. He's only 18 months old, but he understood that.

This comes from a book called Parenting with Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. I highly recommend the book. It's a way to teach responsibility, avoid arguments, etc. There's some great advice for common situations like this, too. The book was extremely helpful to me.

Alei - posted on 06/17/2011

try telling her to stop, dont, or quit... if she is playin or doing something she shouldnt smack her hands then time out if needed make sure when u are talkin to her your not talking at her make a strait face and keep a stern voice but not a heavy voice that could scare her

Meagan - posted on 05/23/2011

When she laughs, do not smile, and make an angry face. The best one you can make.It counter acts the effects of the laughing. lol If she continues doing what you told her NOT to do, then keep doing the time out thing. My daughter HATES being stuck, so I put her in the corner, facing the wall, for 2 minutes. If she moves, gets up, fights, I stop the counting/restart it. Depending on what she did. Like if she leaves the corner it starts over again. Sometimes I have to stand in the corner with her and make her stay there, but it's 2 minutes, and after it's over, she gets that it wasn't fun and that she doesn't want that to happen. It doesn't fully stop her, because part of being 2 is being defiant and manipulative, but now, half the time, just the threat of "your going in the corner" is enough to get her to stop/do what I want her to. lol Actually, I will walk through every single step to get to punishment. "If I get over there and your butt isnt off that table, you are going in the corner." *5 second pause* "Ok, I'm getting up. If I get over there and your butt isn't off that table, you're going in the corner." *get up and head over there* "I'm almost there and I still see your butt on that table. It's corner time!" And if she isn't off the table by the time I get there, I pick her up and say "we are going in the corner now." and do it. More and more often, by the getting up part, she's not acting up anymore, but I am giving her fair warning. The whole process maybe takes 30 seconds to a minute, but it's a step by step warning to show that I am serious and that I'm not palying a game. Then, while she is still IN the corner, I will say "you are in the corner because you were sitting on the table. Are you sorry?" To which she will reply yes or no and if it's no, we keep waiting. I start the sorry process about 20 seconds from time up, in case she says no, so it's not TOO much over 2 minutes. If she says yes, I have her SAY sorry, and then ask her, if she's going to do it again, to which she replies no. At first I had to tell her WHAT to say, but she's learned what is and isnt acceptable that way. Like if I tell her "are you going to pick up the cup now?" she'll say yes because she knows it's going to happen. And if she comes out and does/doesnt do whatever it is, I give her that same step by step warning, and pop her back in the corner for another 2 minutes. There are days I've spent a lot of 2 minutes intervals in the corner with her at one time, and other days where the threat of going into the corner works. But, as time is progressing, it's getting easier.

Just keep up with it and never back down. I would try the warning system like I do, and maybe the corner. A wall is very boring to stare at.... Just make sure its a corner where there are no outlets, or anything she can hurt herself on. I have a designated safe corner that she knows to go to. lol

Another thing I found that works is the more I take my daughter out, even if it's just for a walk, the better behaved she becomes. Partially because when she starts acting up when we are out, I throw her under my arm, kicking and screaming, and stick her in the car seat (or stroller) and we leave. Whether we are at the store or the park, we leave. But, when we do go to the store, which is boring, I hand her everything light and not breakable to throw into the back of the cart. She sits up front but just tosses it back there, and with every thing she puts in the basket, we high five and get excited. She feels involved and it's fun for her, and I may look like an idiot, but its better than her screaming. I also found that I HAVE to keep a ton of snacks on hand whenever I go out, or else she will act up. And juice boxes. It's not caving, but when they get hungry, they get moodier, so it makes life a bit easier to stay stocked.

JuLeah - posted on 05/23/2011

That is common. If she laughs it changes the direction of the conversation. You read the behavior as if an adult were laughing at you, but she is a baby and it doesn't mean the same thing.
You're not doing anything wrong, she is two.
They are not known for listening.
I am not sure what you mean by 'positive time outs' and not sure what behaviors you are attempting to change.
Read books about common and expected behavior from twos and positive reactions to them. Take a few parenting classes, that is always a good idea.
It is crazy, we take driving lessons, but not paretning classes?
Most of us don't want to parent in the manner of our parents, but refuse to take classes and learn a new method. I say, take many classes and read many books.
If you describe exact behaviors of concern, I can offer more help

Felicia - posted on 05/22/2011

WELL I UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU COMING FROM... MY SON DID THAT TO ME ALSO... I SPANKED HIM AND I TALKED TO HIM TO LET HIM KNOW THAT I AM HIS MOTHER AND NOT A PLAY TOY...AND HE HAVENT DONE THAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!