im having a lot of trouble wth my sons behaviour

Trudy - posted on 05/26/2009

I actually took a parenting class to help out similiar issues with my 5 year old daughter. They told me that if a child gets a response out of you wether it be positive or negative as in yelling or just scolding them, they like it. Maybe try ignoring him. Pretend that you dont' hear him screaming and when he hits you pretend you don't feel it, even if the little runt hurts you!
When he sees he's not getting a reaction he will give up but believe me it takes a while. My daughter is hard to deal with too sometimes. Another thing you could do is take something away that he absolutely loves. Don't give it back in 5-10 minutes. Take it away for a day then if that doesn't work take it away for longer. If it still doesn't work don't give it back! I learned shutting a child in their room with the door closed can be horendous! So I started sending my daughter to her room for 2 minutes time outs and if she didn't stay in there I shut the door and she had to be quiet b4 she could come out. Just a few tips if you have any for me feel free..lol. I dont' know how to make my daughter wear nice clothes that I buy for her she'd rather wear ones with holes and stains etc

Lynsey - posted on 05/25/2009

its hard isint it to try and be that one step ahead all the time, my daughter had erratice behaviour at that age and younger is he hyper? Whats he like with his communication? Does he make friends and have a best friend? Play games with him so he has to take turns that will help, but if it carries on i would take him to your doctor and just mention adhd tests and autism tests and no he isint too young for a diagnosis, im not saying he does have behavourial problems all kids have to a certain degree but 'time out' does work but if he is getting use to it find something else like switching telly off and take his toys away you got to find something he really likes doing and act on it or he will get worse if you dont stamp it out, star charts? Controlled ignoring bad behaviour and praising good so when he listens to you say to him ' your being a really good listening boy today i like this behaviour its very good it pleases mummy, just a couple of things to hopefully help you good luck xx

Tami - posted on 05/21/2009

Thank you so much carla you were a great help:)

Carla - posted on 05/12/2009

Could be lots of different things...Has there been a significant change in his environment? Changes in care giver, have you been extra busy with other things, move, etc? It's really hard to tell what can bring this behavior on, it can be he feels like he needs to have some control over things a bit because of a change in the environment. It could be that he is learning about his independence and what boundaries are truly in place I believe these are tested by children periodically. It may just be a week or two and will subside.....but in the mean time personally I never allow children to be physically rough with parents. Several different ways to handle it. Could get eye to eye and say look at my eyes, what color are they,, gets their attention (for most anyway), then I would say, are you angry? Try to help them find the words to express their feeling appropriately with words (books can help with this) and I would say if your angry you need to use your words, hitting is a not allowed, I would place them in timeout and let them know that they are going to be alone until they calm down and when they are not so angry and can talk with words then your ready to listen. He may share with you the reason or he may not know. But either way, This is what I have done in the past with many different children as a mother and a daycare director and it seems to work. Each child is different but he is getting older and nearly 3 he may need a later bed time, depends on if he is still taking naps? If I remember right it's 10-12 hrs is needed. My little girl is 3 and her bed time and naps have completely changed. It was nap in day and 8 at night and she very rarely takes the nap now and gets sleepy around 8:30 sometimes 9:00 of course we sleep till 8 a.m. which many don't get to sleep in that late. If you encourage him to use words and talk about the different feelings people have he may be able to identify and express his feelings more appropriately and I would encourage to always stay firm about not allowing him to physically hurt anyone, instant time out as I know you have tired and I would also instill an apology from him to you once he is calm. Reassure him that you love him and he needs to be cooperative so everyone can have a happy fun day. I have always explained to my little one that I am here to teach her how to be safe and to teach her to make the best decisions because I love her that is why we have rules. Even Grown ups have rules they have to follow, this seems to work really well in bringing the fight out of them. Hope it was of some use and I believe it will pass just hang in there of course.