is it wrong to not let my sons father take him 4 the weekend in another state if he hasnt been in his life consistently?

Kristi - posted on 06/26/2012

If he's not on the birth cert. then I don't think you do have to have a custody agreement but with that same understanding I thought you were unable to collect child support if the father was not listed on the b.c. either. Many attornies offer free consultations, you could call and talk to one about what, if anything, you should do. Goodness gracious, don't go by word, I'm nobody and the only thing I'm well versed in is what not to do! lol Plus laws vary from state to state. The court system definitely sucks a$$. It is absolutely insane how long it takes to get your case through from beginning to end, it is even more frustrating when your child's safety is on the line. I'd say call for a free visit and put your mind at ease. Won't cost you anything and then you'll KNOW your rights and the actions you can take, God forbid, in the event something happens.

Chequita - posted on 06/26/2012

thanx 4 the advice kristi C..hopefully it doesnt go that far but it took a year to even get response 4 child support i almost dnt think its worth it to go through it all again..and im not sure how all the legal aspects of custody goes..if my son lives with me do i still have to go to court and petition for full custody? i thought that wasnt necessary if the father and i were never married and he didnt sign the birth certificate?

Kristi - posted on 06/26/2012

That young, no order, different state...pardon my french, F*** NO, you are not wrong. If you are anything like me, there isn't a whole bunch of money rollin around for attorney's fees (or anything else for that matter lol) but I would get a new case or get your old one reopened, how ever they do it and get something in writing as quickly as you can, peace of mind will take you a long ways. I learned the hard way, that when you think you are "just letting a sleeping dog lie," you better make sure that it's really him, because I thought I was ok, letting my ex-husband pop in & out of my daughter's life was ok (bad for many reasons), I thought we were getting along, no need to make things ugly by going to court, long story as short as possible and mind you she's older...he had been lieing to her about me, things that they were going to do together, things she couldn't tell me about because she would never be allowed back there if I knew, everything, it goes on forever, she was abused and everytime I tried to pull her out of there permanantly he would go super ballastic and threathen to sue me for full custody, etc...I FINALLY borrowed money from my parents, had enough evidence from my daughter's therapist, and my daughter and her older sister (his daughter from his 1st marriage) were ready to testify against him. I offered him an out, he refused to take it so on we went. $10,000 and a shit ton of stress and trauma for my daughter, later, I was awarded everything including way more support than he ever imagined, but he got very liberal visitation, thank God that never materialized. He tried to give up his rights so he didn't have to pay support, I said fine, so we could move out of state. The judge said nope. So I had to sign off on all the support he had already not paid and agree that he only had to pay $50/mo so that I could move out of state & the only way he can ever, EVER contact her again, is through me. Asshole. Anyways, I'm not saying your babby daddy will do any of that, I'm just saying don't wait to the midnight hour to make sure you are 100% in control over what happens with your son, so that if, God forbid, he does try to pull anything, the law is on your side. Good luck with that...trust your gut, always your gut.

Ehh, sorry about the potty mouth...I hope I didn't offend anyone.

Chequita - posted on 06/25/2012

he is only 16 months old and has only seen his dad maybe 8 times in the course of a year every 3 months or so we dont have a court order i tried 4 child support but they closed my case because they said i didnt show up 4 court but i never received notice..he lives in another state... i just dont feel comfortable with it.

The Sexy Single Mommy - posted on 06/25/2012

No, it isn't wrong. If he isn't consistent, you run a big risk by letting him take your son.

Kristi - posted on 06/25/2012

Based on just this statement, I would say, no it is not wrong...out of state visits, if not common can be risky but it is hard to give accurate advice without more information. What does the court order say? How old is your son? Has he gone out of state with his father before? (recently) What is consistently to you?

Krista - posted on 06/24/2012

depends on how old the child is.. and if he remembers him! your kid might get homesick or feel uncomfortable being around a bunch of strangers