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just left the husband

Ria - posted on 04/10/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My husband is a sailor which means he is only home one month and then gone two months, which confuses our oldest son a lot.

And when he is home he is drunk .. ALL THE TIME, well almost.



And when he is not drunk he is blaming me for the death off our daughter saying that I should've taken her to the doctor earlier.

I took her to the doctor twice every week and he send us home every time!!

He also keeps yelling at our oldest son, Noah who is 4½ and has ADHD and a very dangerous disease, he will might only live another 2 years - 5 if we are lucky and it keeps getting worse by every day.



And I just couldn't stay in that kind of relationship anymore whit a sick kid, a 3½ month old son and 2 angel babies.



So now I left him, and I have no idea what to do anymore - usually when I am sad and everything i listen to music about those kind of problems, but I doubt there are any songs about this I can hear .. and I also doubt it will help.



I seriously have no idea at all about what to do!

- or if I should write anything on facebook.



Please, what can I do

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4 Comments

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Shevaughne - posted on 04/27/2012

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I can not believe how much you have gone through! You are stronger than you will ever know and one thing you must never forget EVER is that the best thing you ever did was leave. There is only one rule to life If anything does not add real value to your life walk away and use that energy for something positive. It seems to me you live this motto and well done! Now you have a short time with a little boy who thinks you are the hero of time and you know what YOU ARE ! enjoy the time with him and your little googling bundle too. your kids can now have a constant environment without the tension ( which they pick up on and internalise as their own fault) and this will be a real release for them.

You have an adjustment period to go through and that can be a little well craxy....allow it to be crazy and you will soon redefine yourself according to what is right for you. That is the exciting part being able to decide who you want to be who you are without having to compromise any of it. Your kids will see your strength and take that lesson in life . How exciting you are your own master . Welcome to the world of Moms that know who they are , what they want and how to get it. YOu are great made perfect and your kids superhero! go show the world the new you!.

Marcy - posted on 04/15/2012

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Yes, agreed take it one day at a time. Take this time to focus on just yourself and your kids. There are many places local that you can go for help. I am in Utah and the state will help with things, including rent if need be. They don't ask your situation other than they ask that you collect child support but there are many sources (your state may be different). Reach out to friends and family as well. If you need help.. ask for it. I have found that if you get a support system with those have are in or have been in similar situations helps a lot.

Ria - posted on 04/10/2012

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He is not in the military, he is just a sailor :-/

Faye - posted on 04/10/2012

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Take it one day at a time! Contact his commander to report his off time behavior, the military will not allow abuse (even verbal) towards the spouse or children.



Talk with the chaplain on base for support groups. Don't worry about NOT receiving child support, Uncle Sam does NOT allow his boys to skip that obligation.

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