my husband has just left me with two kids ! Help
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Amanda - posted on 02/14/2009
My husband walked out on our family 4 years ago. At the time our daughters were 6 months and a little over a year. I wasn't working (because he refused to let me) and was left in a house that I had no means to pay for. Talk about scared!! The first thing I did was sit at the kitchen table and write down what I needed to do to take care of our daughters and myself. Then in the next column I wrote down where I could these neccessaties. I called a family member to take the girls for a few hours while I made all the phone calls I needed to make, picked up a local paper, called for interviews, set the girls up in a daycare, and when I knew I did everything in my power to take care of the most important people in my life, I sat down on my couch and CRIED!!! And not just a light sob, but a good hearty cry. Then I took a shower, put something nice on, and called for my daughters to come home. That was 4 years ago. Since then I went to college, became a nurse, bought a house, and my daughters and I are happier today than I ever thought possible. He doesn't see our children (his choice, not mine), but we did get a nice surprise in the mail last week when I recieved my daughters FIRST child support check. I'm not sure wat state you live in, but if you need help with ANYTHING please don't hesitate. I know what rock bottom feels like and it's a horrible feeling to be there alone. Best of Luck.
T - posted on 12/11/2012
OMG STOP WITH THIS SPELLCASTING GURU FALSE SALES RESPONSES OR I AM GOING TO NEVER VISIT THIS SITE AGAIN!?!!?!
We are REAL WOMEN who were shocked when lifetime partners of years/decade left when it became too stressful to have babies,post baby surgeries, turned out huge narcisstic jerks we were blinded by love and had 5 single years together traveling the world and being workaholics in big city, work hard play hard, no real responsibilities until babies arrived and true colors came through, we had no idea, sadly that our men were narcisstic enough to leave us single moms with two babies, we used to work corporate jobs as well, huge wedding, whole families close vacationing together for years.... He CHOSE affair and selfish freedom over marriage vows and beautiful wife and two babies, could not handle the stress of raising babies, the sleepless nights, the nonstop needs, the former power corporate woman going through major surgeries postpartum, the showed their true colors and had affairs, why would any sane, educated woman ever want to spell cast someone.???????? This trail of advertising posts in unreal. And take it from a mommy of two toddlers, left by her workaholic man, who used to WORK IN THE HUGE WORLD OF ADVERTISING AND SOCIAL MEDIA AND broadcast TV, only to be left by man who turned out to be too weak to handle the stress of real life, and funnily enough he wanted babies asap, after 5+ years together he talked of getting pregnant on our awesome honeymoon on AmalfiCoast.... He wanted babies and family ASAP and we did as much, exactly what he "wanted for lifetime" then with baby and colic and 2 yr old toddler boys suddenly in non sleeping house where life was not simply our corporate life of "work" dinners and nights out in the city, he rejected all vows and left us. WHY THE HECK WOULD I WANT A SPELLCASTING !?!?! I WANT TO HEAR FROM OTHER NORMAL CARING real WOMAN WHO HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS. CIRCLE of MOMS? Hahahaha. If you don't remove all this SPELLCASTING ADVERTISING crap, PLACED BY SOCIAL MEDIA PROFESSIONALS, THEN I will never visit site again, nor will my 500+ friends, I can still put out press releases. THANKS FOR NOT HELPING. DESPICABLE. done with this site. AND P.S. APOLOGIES FOR MY TYPOS, IM WRITING FROM IPAD WITH 2 toddlers at my feet, the REAL WORLD.
Stacey - posted on 03/03/2009
i totally know where you are coming from, after 5 years of trying we fell pregnant, baby is due in 8 weeks ish, future hubby walked in three weeks ago, announced he was leaving for a woman he was having an affair with, unfortunately he cant be part of baby's life, as this would distress her too much as she is currently going threw the menopause. head all over the place is just not the right words, but i do understand where ur coming from.
Julith - posted on 07/18/2014
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T - posted on 12/11/2012
CIRCLE OF MOMS????? More like circle of ADVERTISING social media liars who continue to post this absurd SPELLCASTING crap-is there NO END?? Is ther nothing you can do, like review posts BEFORE they go up???
I used to work for frigging CBS news, and I have lost all faith in your website, coming here as a mom in a time of crisis. If you cannot delete this social media expert advertising how could I ever come here for trusted advice from" fellow moms " again. You seriously need to monitor this site better, I am a former corporate mom who worked on Capitol Hill and have been to many moms sites for advice on my sudden Lifetime movie ordeal with two babies and cheating husband. Sorry, I give up. I tried earlier and you allow instantious responses from money hungry conglomerates when there are really moms like me out here trying to find support system. I should mention I also used to design web sites in the late 1990s after grad school and I swear our small AIDS site had more protection and reliable information, fact-checke, than this site. I'm soooooooooso with this so called"circle of moms" aka " CIRCLE OF ADVERTISING GURUS WHO WILL STOP AT NOTHING AND YOU CANNOT CONTROL"
sorry I stupidly believed In finding real moms left with babies after husband of decade on THIS site...what a joke.
T - posted on 11/20/2012
I am a real mom going through same hell. Spell casting? I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A SITE FOR ADVERTISEMENTS!?
My husband of over decade left me with two toddlers and having affair, discovered total narcisstic sociopath, spent 100s of thousands of our savings on her, hotels, new everything, no way I'd want this horrible person back, been 10 Mos of turmoil, all my future plans, lifetime plans gone, exhausted full time mom to 2 wild boys who are the love of my life and I'm so sad for them and a life destroyed by the abuse of partner who gave me the world, charmed me for 1/3 of life with false promises and turns out is pathological liar of worst kind. Quit career to raise family, said he never believed in divorce. Walked out door and within week was with affair so I know it was huge part of him leaving, and yeah I've been corporate, quit my whole career to raise babies, had to have 3 surgeries after childbirth, he left when i was recovering from worst one. He worked long hours but makes ton, hid all our savings and money from us,, yeahMuch easier to live fun city life having adult conversations, going to corporate meetings at awesome restaurants staying at hyatt, having adulterous sex for months and leaving an honest, beautiful faithful wife, suddenly single raising them 24 hors a day alone in remote house outside city he wanted. Now claiming we are broke when all I did was pick up the pieces, cry for months whilst raising boys alone, stay in our home as he spent100s of thousands and traveled world with her. Sick. Who would ever want to spell cast a man back after he could do this and destroy our family and rip my heart out? STOP WITH THE SPELLCASTING ADVERTISING!? My career was/is someday again soon in media/ advertising, and I'm sad this site allows these posts.
T - posted on 11/16/2012
Oh, I feel your pain, I am still in shock after 10 months, we were together 11 years, we have 2 and 5 year old and my husband suddenly left. This is the most painful year of my life. He always said he never believed in divorce, then after I had 2 babies and 3 birth related surgeries in 3 years, he turned forty, went into midlife crisis, left us, alone, I can't get over the pain, he has been having affair and is divorcing me soon and I am so sad and shocked and sad for my babies and cannot belies that this is really him, plus he is an attorney, wants a amicable divorce (!?!?!) I don't even believe in divorce, he's hidden all our assets and I'm full time mom (used to be corporate, we both had long hours but he made way more than me and we agreed we wanted parent home or we'd need 3 nannies and never see our babies). As a former corporate person working full time, I hate the term stay at home mom, it's atrocious, I work 24 hours a day 7 days a week, hardest job on planet, no paycheck or "corporate lunches" in the city or having adult conversations, I was a boss and now I am the opposite, husband always held over my head that HE makes the money and I don't. He took control of finances being that I was so busy with nonstop childcare, colic, breastfeeding, surgeries, and now he's left us and controlling us like I'm a nanny. It is so painful to be so unappreciated, then seriously abandoned and hesbeen cheating for almost year I find out, whilst I deal with surgeries and all the work it takes to raise two happy boys, doing everything I can to keep them out o this, "go bless daddy" and we miss him but he works so hard for us, etc. Ivanhoe believe I am in this situation, my whole life I was such a trusting and open honest person, to a fault I see, and my career is in media so ther IS no part time. I am so scarce of the next few months and what will happen in divorce, he is scary and I've now learned I'm dealing with a super narcissistic man, I pray and go to divorce support groups but nothing can heal the pain of abandonment, our whole life planned together, bug wedding, 120000000 photos, our family home, how can I cope, I listen tom positive thinking CDs in car and read all I can, but it's like the death of a future, a whole life we had planned....his stuff still here and imlive in isolated neighborhood with no other moms of young children, none of myy friends are divorced, Gid when does the pain ever end. My poor babies.i blame myself for not seeing the real him and marrying someone like this, a man devoid of empathy nor ability to commit after 1/3 of life together....how can he do this to us? A year ago we were making ny resolutions and planning future and marriage bootcamps since we had little time for each other since babies arrived and he worked all the time and so many sleepless nights, had no concept regarding balance of life, family, job always first. Think I came in a weak 3rd place after having our two sons, the soul heirs to his family name......anyone else going though anything like this with narcisstic man they thought the world of and was totally blindsided!?! I used to be a serious T reporter and now I'm a single mom threatened by him destroying me in divorce...so scared.
Mother Of Pearls - posted on 07/11/2012
hi well hun you need to move forward although its hard your a strong woman and your kids need you. They are the ones who will give you the strength to move forward and be your own lil family hope this helps a bit if you want to talk more just mess me
Kristin - posted on 06/25/2012
First take a deep breath. It is not the end of the world and you will be fine. Then look into therapy and finding a job and taking him to court for divorce and child support and access. My ex left me when I was pregnant with our sewcond child for another woman, thank God I had my own house and career, but we made it through. Be strong, stay positive. This is the time to heal and to find out what will make you happy. I am not going to lie to you and say it will be easy and will not hurt because it does hurt and it isnt easy but in time things do get better and eventually you will meet a nice guy who you will spend the rest of your life with.., For now focus on you and your kids and being happy.
Summer - posted on 02/26/2009
Similar story here... my husband walked out on us for a PREGNANT whore from his work when our baby was 6 months old. I divorced this butt! He is kind of a deadbeat. The court makes him pay support. If you haven't filed for child support, definitely do. You can do it! I found that being single was actually easier than being with him. He treated me like crap, didn't help and let me down all the time. When you are alone, you don't have that person to let you down every day anymore! Surrounding yourself with good people is really important! Family and friends help a lot! I couldn't do this without them!
Danielle - posted on 02/26/2009
Hi i'm new to this but have to write on here!!
Me and my husband split 7 months ago and 2 months after he was with someone else and is now living with her.
I have 3 boy's and it is very hard but you just get on with it. Women are very strong when we have to be and we can do it on our own!!!
Your kids will help you alot and get you through bad times but chin up and show him you can do this!!!
lots of love Danielle xxx
Jennifer - posted on 02/22/2009
I know what you are going through. My ex left me out of the blue when my daughter was 6 months old and my son was 4. As it ended up, he moved in with the woman he had been having an affair with a week later! All of it a shock to me. But, 2 years later, me and the kids are doing fine. I hate to say it, but their dad has very little involvement now, although he does pay his child support. Hang it there, it'll be hard, but you'll make it through. Don't make any rash decisions-staying together is hard, but so is a divorce.
Don't worry u'll get thru it. i have 3 kids and my husband abandoned us for some low life tramp.
I could've written these lines... except I was 7 months pregnant w/ our 3rd when he left. It's been a year for us now. You WILL get through this. It may not seem like it now, but I promise you that you will. I spent pretty much the first 4 months of my son's life crying and begging for his 'dad' to come back. Then I realized that I had to get through it for my kids' sakes as well as my own.
Michele - posted on 02/14/2009
Don't worry u'll get thru it. i have 3 kids and my husband abandoned us for some low life tramp. well one thing is having love and support from family and friends. does he help u out at all with money even though he left? if not i think u should take him for child support and look into getting what is called maintenance for urself. then try seeing about going to social services for help. ur gonna struggle at first and yes it's hard too but in the end u'll come out stronger and be the one on top. i'm going thru a divorce now and it is hard raising 3 kids on my own. not working at the moment but i'm getting the money i need for the time being for me and the kids till the divorce is final. i learned that my kids come first and u got to do what's best for them. i've become stronger and more focused on what i want. sometimes we become so dependent on men that we feel lost when things like this happens. but as a woman we need to grab our independency back and become the strong beautiful women that we are. so stay strong for urself and ur kids. stay close to family and friends for love and support and please go seek help for financial reasons such as child support, maintenance for u and look into social services if u have to. take care and god bless.
Kim - posted on 02/02/2009
Please be sure and take care of yourself too. After 16 years of marriage I am suddenly alone with my two kids. My ex doesn't even live in the same state so I have my kids 24-7. I felt so overwhelmed! You will need to surround yourself with good support. Your kids need to see you as the strong one and they will respect you. You will get to the "other side"....
Hayley - posted on 02/01/2009
sorry to hear that
i was left on my own 2 yrs ago with 4 boys 11,10,7 and 4 my ex left me for some1 else but i managed and so will you im not saying its easy u just have to get on with it for the childrens sake the only help i get is off my family there dad dont even help money wise but there is help out there GOOD LUCK xxx
Mellissa - posted on 01/30/2009
I am raising three boys on my own and you would be amazed how much help there actually is out there! If you need to know anything or just need to vent, I will llisten...I know how it feels. It does get easier though once you get used to it, us women are pretty strong for our kids when we need to be! Good Luck...Mellissa
Shorty - posted on 01/29/2009
i am very sorry for that. it is very hard.
i guess i would say is what would you like help with?
there are the basics such as
-being the working parent
-putting kids in daycare
start asking girl there are lots of us here that extend our hearts and minds to you.
God that is awful - I have been by myself with my daughter since she was two ( she is now nearly 12). Things will seem tough but you will get through it. If you need any advice on specfic things let me know and I will help if I can. Good Luck and keep smiling !! Fran
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