My husband is trying to have a child with another woman

Diana - posted on 07/25/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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my kid's father is cheating and trying to get a child with another... my son is too young to notice and my daughter wonders where he is.

i do it all by myself...especially supporting the family

help what can i do?

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21 Comments

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Hayley - posted on 08/08/2010

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um.... LEAVE HIS ASS!!! you can do better alone and it will be better for the kids

Cicily - posted on 08/07/2010

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I had once been in this position almost two years ago. Understand he will not change. You can do this! There will be many challenges but it is worth it in the end. I have never been happier! There is a wonderful future awaiting you!

Jackie - posted on 08/05/2010

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All you can do sweety is tak it ond day at a time...and if the kids question you tell the truth...you have to try to move on for you and your kids...because if you dont it will affect your kids and you will allow him to be able to control your situation...I know its hard...but God wouldnt put more on you than you can bare...YOU CAN DO IT! and OVERCOME THIS!...goodluck..:)

Kaete - posted on 08/05/2010

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For real, if you're going to be a single mom, you might as well be a SINGLE mom.

If that "man" is disrespecting your marriage vows by not only sleeping around but trying to make babies with someone else, tell him to screw off!! You deserve better.

Nikki - posted on 08/03/2010

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Oh mY !! Well , if it were me I would send him packing for SURE. You deserve better and so do your children. He can still be their father and have visitation but sounds to me like a horrible situation. I too have lived a life with my husband that I met in 2004 that was unbearable . We split in June of 2007 and he abandoned his son , never paid child support and ignored our son. No contact at all. We are still married as I could not afford a divorce to get court ordered child support and my husband never pursued a divorce as he knew he would be court ordered to pay it. Unfortunately men (bad ones) do exist and think only of themselves. I too paid all the bills , provided him with a vehicle and he never worked except bartending at night so i worked all day and literally as I walked in the door from work he handed our son to me and he was gone for the night!!!! Later after we split I spoke to his female co-workers and every single one of them told me he had "hit" on them !! I thought to myself good grief. I found out so many things it would take me a year to tell you but if I were you I surely would not put up with that as eventually it will break your spirit and trust me it broke mine for a long time :( Also if he is "trying" to do that he might very well being doing other things you are not aware of. Just something to "think" about. You are "worth" far more as a Lady than to have something as immoral as that to deal with especially as you raise your children and provide for everyone. Once I rid myself of my son's father I was sooooo much happier even though we struggle with so many other issues now but i would not change a thing. I have a beautiful son out of the deal and I know one day God will send someone to us :) Please have faith and remember "If you don't stand up for yourself noone will" I understand it's scary to face reality but once you do I think you will look back like I did and think to yourself , 'My Lord , How did I put up with that for so long?" :) Always do what is "right" and God will have everything fall into place for you and your wondeful children. Hope I have helped you , God Bless , Nikki :)

Kathlene - posted on 08/03/2010

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Pack his bags and send him on his way or just throw them on the front lawn and set them on fire..file for divorce and child support and what ever else you can get from this weasel. You are better than that and so are your children. I've been playing the daddy role for many many years. I even get Happy Fathers Day cards from my kids! Just get rid of him you will find someone in due time..best of luck to you!!

Crystal - posted on 08/01/2010

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Do you really want to live like that? How do you feel about him cheating on you leaving you to do it all? What would it really look like without him in the picture? Be honest.

Now ask yourself, how can you solve the problem? There are many options. Many that leave you and your children stronger and happier.

Good luck!
Crystal | www.whydidichoosehim.com

Susan - posted on 07/31/2010

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I personally would get a divorce. I have NO tolerance for cheating. Besides, why would you stay in that kind of relationship? It's not healthy for you or your kids. I'm not saying the kids shouldn't still see and have a relationship with their father. Being a bad husband doesn't necessarily make him a bad father.

Sendy - posted on 07/31/2010

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am sorry to hear that but if ur the main provider for the family whicjh mean u dont need him let him go and meet the other woman u will survive

CHRISTINA - posted on 07/30/2010

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Try counseling, if he's not interested you should divorce him, kick him out and file child support. Men can be jerks sometimes and our poor kids suffer.

Najmah - posted on 07/28/2010

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Hi there, if you doing it alone already, why continue this torment and torture.... can you not get out of this unhappy marriage??

Jessi - posted on 07/27/2010

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DIVORCE! if it were me, the moment i found out my husband was cheating i would be down at the courthouse filling for divorce. you don't need to put up with that and neither do your children.

Leslie - posted on 07/27/2010

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He is an example for your children for how a father should be and they may not realize what he's doin now but later they will figure it out. Do you want your kids to have that kind of role model...one that treats mom like shit?? Maybe your scared to be on your own, but you can do amazing things for your children when pushed...trust me!!
Good luck

Holly - posted on 07/26/2010

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I went through a similar situation with a boy in a man's body. I dated him for almost two years. When I found out I was pregnant, things just got worse. I lived TOO LONG with someone I didn't love and I wanted out so bad; yet I kept telling myself I couldn't do it on my own. He was arrested for choking me and I left him and I found my family to be the most incredible support system I've ever experienced. You should talk to friends and family and see if they would be willing to help you out (like a place to stay or help you find a job) until you can get back on your feet. It's a difficult matter of overcoming your pride to ask for help but your children are more important than your pride. If I hadn't left BD then Joshua would have an entirely different personality instead of being the eternally happy baby he is now.

Daria - posted on 07/26/2010

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file legal separation file for divorce and make him pay and if your state allows for wives to file suit against mistresses then file one against her too.. Oh, yea and don't hesitate on CHILD SUPPORT and if and when they get married have the order set to reflect her income to hit them again (only do this if she has a job)

JuLeah - posted on 07/25/2010

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It is your life and I know only one short paragraph of the whole story, and/but, lose the guy.

Figure out how you will support yourself - what is your degree in? Jobs are hard to come by right now, I assume you have one, but you are saying you can't do it alone. Can you get a better job? A different degree? Well, it is not a question of 'can you' of course you can - you have kids to support, you can do anything.

Figure out housing and all the rest - cause it sounds like it's up to you.

There are community resources - call and find about what you can about them -

Kendra - posted on 07/25/2010

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Get a divorce.
If he does not want to change, is not willing to change, and is disrespecting the marriage by sleeping around... REVOKE!

been there, dont that,

Candice - posted on 07/25/2010

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really? i think you know what you can do. ..especially if you are the one supporting the family. Kick his sorry ass out!

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