Casey - posted on 07/12/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )
I'm 19 years old with a 3 year old boy. I was thinking of writing a book of my life, i've got an amazing story to tell. I don't want to sound naive but i've been through more than anyone could imagine. I've been a single mom since the birth of my son. I was abused mentally, physically and emotionally by my child's father and his entire family. I was cheated on, kicked out onto the streets with a newborn. I ultimately ended the abuse after living with my son's father. He had beaten me five times, once with my child on my hip, held a gun to my head, choked me, forced me to take cold showers, and isolated me from the entire world..(my best friend didn't know i was pregnant until after i delivered) As if that weren't bad enough, after he got out of jail when my son was about 10 months, old now he suddenly wants to see him. I went to court to get sole custody and LOST. after he had just gotten out of jail for possession of meth, he'd moved in with another addict and they were expecting a child together. In court his entire family testified against me saying that i beat my newborn son that i slept all day and was a horrible mother and that my ex never hit me, (Which they knew he did they're the ones who nursed me back to health) and they portrayed me to be a horrible mother. i was 17 and had no attorney and they ripped me a new one. The betrayal i experienced what unlike any other...these people were supposed to be christians going to church every sunday but swore to god he never hit me. After about two years of visitation i honestly started to believe that maybe his father was clean and sober and i started allowing for him to have overnight visits. Then two months ago i get papers served to me of him filing for SOLE custody! now they are threatening to take him away? I know it will never happen but i cry every day thinking about the things they say about me, i don't have thick skin, you'd think i would but he could beat the crap out of me all he wants, i'm numb to that. This pain is so much worse. I had an argument with him the other day because he wanted to keep our son an extra hour and i said no because i had plans and had already given him extended visits as it was. He began saying I'm a horrible mom in front of our son, saying shut your fucking mouth in front of my son! I told him to go get drug tested because that was a court ordered right i have and he refused to go and didn't show up. I don't know what to do. it seems like i can do no rght and he can do no wrong. I learned from his best friend that he's dealing pot for a living, yet he can't pay me child support, and i called the police and they don't care. A judge wont care. he straight up told the judge he was addicted to meth and they don't care! I actually am a really good mother, better than i ever expected i'd be. I do everything alone, i work part time and go to college full time, i pay for preschool, i pay for the doctor, i do everything and have since the day he was born. i'm at the end of my rope i have no one to talk to and i have court in two days and i feel so hopeless. it's his word and his entire family's words against mine. I just need encouragement or the comfort of someone else going through the same thing....