no dad for a beautiful baby girl

Brooke - posted on 06/13/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 5months old. her dad has never seen her and doesnt want anything to do with her. he even moved to queesland with his gf and son to get away from his daughter here. what am i suppose to tell her when she gets older??

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Sheena - posted on 06/20/2009

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I understand how you feel and also wonder what I will do when the day comes she begins to wonder. He has had no part of the pregnancy or her 1st 2 months of life. I am terrified he will show up and scared he won't. Either way it is bad.

Rosanna - posted on 06/17/2009

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Hey I'm in the same boat. I have a little 20 month old who doesn't even know the word "daddy" because he has never come around. Just whatever you do don't talk bad about him. Let her figure out what kind of guy he is on her own, it won't take long. For now just tell her that some families have a mommy and a daddy, but others only have a mommy (or daddy). As long as you do what you have to do as a mother, not having a father may not even bother her. I hope that helps some.

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Katrina - posted on 07/01/2009

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hello! i dont no if i can really help much but i also have a 5 month old little girl and her dad not really around. i constantly wonder what to tell her when she gets older but someone once said to me no matter what u tell her she will always no who really loved her and that YOU will be and always have been the one stable thing in her life. All the best to you and your gorgeous little girl !!

Tenille - posted on 06/24/2009

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I have no idea! I am in the same position as you are though and one thing I am sure of is that If he is acting that way it is probably better he doesnt come around. I know for myself I would rather my daughter have no dad then a bad dad or an in and out dad! Hang in there and when the time comes to talk about it, which one day it will, whatever needs to be said will come to you and your daughter will respect you so much for doing it "alone"!!

Megan - posted on 06/23/2009

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i'm struggling with the same problem, my son just turned one this month and his father was ecstatic when we found out i was pregnant, was there the whole time at the hospital but now is somewhere in the u.s. never calls, doesnt care. i feel soooo bad for my babyy but i try to be the best i ccan, be there for him all the time and love him more than anything in the world.. everything happens for a reason, we just havent figured out why this happened, why dads suck. itll work out because your beautiful daughter has the best love in the world, her momss :)

A - posted on 06/23/2009

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awwww...this breaks my heart completely!! she is so beautful. My best friend went through the exact same thing as you. Her son really never questioned who is father was. He was so loved by his mom and grandparents, aunts, cousins that he didnt really give it a second thought. My bestfriend always felt bad (like you) and to this day her heart breaks b/c her son is an amazing boy! He's on the honour role at school and plays music. well mannered. Super bright and yet his dad who lives minutes away wont have anything to do wtih him. My best friend just doesnt really think about it anymore and luckily, her son is well adjusted and happy. So i think that your daughter will be happy no matter what as long as she is loved and cared for. One day she may ask but it wont bother her as much as it does you. It hurts us more b/c we are the mothers and we know how important it is to have a father figure. But sometimes its best to be alone. Just think that if he was around, he would probably be a jerk anyway and would make things worse. That is why he isnt around. So he really did you and your daughter a favor. But try not to worry about it right now. She is so young and doesnt understand . You have a few years. There are alot of great books out there for kids that help and there are so many support systems too. She will do fine. Its just too bad that your ex is such an evil person. But she is probably better off without him. Make sure he pays you child support or get after him for it. Money is always a good thing if you can get it.

Georgina - posted on 06/23/2009

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I have a 14 month old and a 2 week old they both have different dads but both there dads left. i'd say don't worry about it it will only bring you down if you think about it to much, alot of people look down on me for having 2 girls so close together but if anyone says anything i just say it's not like i asked them to leave me they did that all on there own. the best thing to do is bring up your lil girl the best you can and when she asks who her dad is tell her if she don't understand at first she will one day and she'll hate him for not being there. i don't know my dad and i hate him for it, my mum did everything she could and love her for it.

Alyssa - posted on 06/20/2009

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i don't know i'm in the same type of sutiuation my daughters father didn't want me to have her he told me to have an abortion and now i've had her he hasn't contacted me or wants anything to do with her he still lives around here but he wont talk to me or look at his daughter

MICHELLE - posted on 06/18/2009

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Hi ya... i know how u feel... i'm in similar situation as yourself... i agree with what every1 has said so far...by waiting till she's old enough to understand and decide for herself n just love her a much as u can n hopefully you'll find some1 to love you both as you both deserve it....

It's hard some days but u've got to be strong for your little girls sake n u'll be stronger for it in the long run and basically it's his loss!!!

take care x x x

[deleted account]

Your beautiful girl (she is gorgeous) just needs tonnes of love from you. As she grows you'll definitely figure out what to tell her; don't worry too much about how, it'll come to you.
My husband died when I was three months pregnant to our 4th baby, the others aged 5, 3 and 1 year. It was such a hopeless situation that i didn't even think about the 'what do I say to the baby about her daddy?'. That saved me, because it made me think only of the "now". Try that out and see how it fits for you. Blessings. x

Michelle - posted on 06/15/2009

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When she gets older she will understand more. When she gets older I would answer the questions as honestly as possible. I tell my son who is 3 "He can't come..." When he asks why, I tell him "I don't know". He wants him in his life but is very happy with the people God has placed in his life. It bothers me more than it bothers him. Be blessed!

Emma - posted on 06/15/2009

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hiya brooke am in the same situation as you my son is 17month old and his father doesnt want to know. he did until he got a new gf and he is now bringing up her 2 kids as his own, he says there dad deserted them so he going to be there but he will not even see my son. the best thing for you to do is let your daughter make up her own mind when shes old enough and just continue to love her and she will know you tried to let her daddy be apart of her life. she will know this isnt what you wanted. but itll be him she hates when shes old enough to understand not youxxxx ema

Andrea - posted on 06/14/2009

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wait until she is old enough to understand. I was in the same situation but my sons father came back lurking in his life, when its convenient for him of course. Now he's trying to take me for custody when he wasn't around for the pregnancy or first 6 months. You will find someone great that will take over the father role in your daughters life. When she is old enough to understand just explain to her, she will appreciate and respect you more for doing it alone.

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