Oh the irony on this one , here we go ...

Nikki - posted on 09/17/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Well Moms since I share everything with you all concerning my son and his life and progress as he has a absent father , I had to sit and write today about our situation as it holds irony as well as my frustration as a mother so I had to vent :)

Most of you all have seen my posts and probably feel as if you know my son Ethan and I personally :) Well of course our situation is still the same with Ethan's father being absent and I have always replied to people when they ask about his father that , "Unfortunately he does not care if Ethan has breath in his body." When I say that , they "get it" in it's totality . (of course I would never say that if my son was around, I mean to family and friends when they ask)
So Ethan got very sick last week and I was battling his fever of 103,104 for a day then I took him to the ER twice as I got scared because I could not keep his fever down and of course I wanted to get to the bottom of what the source was. The ER told me to keep up the motrin every 4 hours and pretty much dismissed anything being "wrong" . So, on day number four of battling this for him I decided to take him to a clinic near my home as I was sure the Er was tired of seeing me and probably thought I was over reacting to his fever as they did tell me he could get up to a fever of 105 and I still should not be concerned !! Yes the DR said this . I understand he means that it's not critical until it reaches 107 to 108 as he said but none the less I am still a worried Mom here. Sheez. Well upon our visit to the clinic the Dr. there just happened to be a pulmonologist that accepted a position making rounds at this clinic and she was very nice and thorough and asked me all kinds of questions about the week of prematurity he was born etc. and she did a culture swab for strep and in checking his breathing she noticed Ethan's huge hemangioma on his back and asked me what was I doing for it etc. i explained I was told it would fall off eventually and she was upset by this and stated to me that Ethan was not getting full air capacity on his left lung as he was on his right lung and told us to take the meds she prescribed (a antiobiotic i think the Er should have given in the first place) and she said we needed to come back in a week as she wanted Ethan to see a specialist in Alabama for his hemangioma tumor that she suspects is growing inwardly etc affecting his breathing . He will be four next month and this is the first time I have ever been told this could happen:( She also asked if he was a picky eater and he is and she told me preemies that have sleep apnea usually have reflux real bad etc. so now he can get relief there as well.
Well we are due to follow up now and I am exhausted after so many days of hospital, clinic visits as I could only imagine how my poor son feels so I hurt for him especially now knowing this tumor could be affecting his breathing so now my point to the story is his father as I said is absent and as I drove away with all this new knowledge and the fact that some of Ethan's problem is due to not having enough air in his body I cried with the irony of the statement I always used to explain to my friends and family that his father does not care as he has proven that clearly with no contact with his son at all for all these years. I write this today as I guess i needed to share with other Moms what we go through being a single parent of a abandoned child and the pain of it. Part of me really wanted to call his father that day and give him a good piece of my mind but since he does not care I know it would do no good at all and of course I am keeping my focus on my son's health and solely on that as I love him dearly :) Yet still there are days when I really want to simply just scream !!! LOL , I had to vent today and I guess I have to say it's still so pitiful to know my son's father does not care but again my son has me and God and I am grateful for all we do have . We have each other :) Thanks for listening Moms and we need prayers for the best possible outcome for my boy :) I just appreciate each and every one of you being on circle of Moms to share with . God Bless you all & your children,

Nikki

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7 Comments

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Natasha - posted on 09/20/2010

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I can't believe that the ER would not even do a simple throat culture to see if antibiotic would help! You sound like a strong mom and, even though it's a struggle, you're doing a great job. Good luck to both you and Ethan!

Billie - posted on 09/20/2010

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Glad you got to the bottom of what's going on with Ethan. Even as upbeat as we try to be and as strong as we are, it can still get to you at moments like this when the father just doesn't care. It can make you want to hurt them just so they feel how your child feels when they're not around. But then, just as I'm sure you did...you cry it out, suck it up and slap a smile on your face for your baby. Hang in there mama. Big hug to you and little Ethan!

JuLeah - posted on 09/19/2010

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You son has you and a birth father who knew on some level that the child deserved better then he could ever give; trusted you to give the boy what he needed, and got out of the way.



I hear you are angry and feel abdonded and betrayed. I don't see how holding on to that emotion or that idea serves you or your son.



Flipping it around and looking at it in a new light, often gives me peace. The situation has not changed, but my thoughts about it have and my reaction to it has.



As I change my perspective, I change the options in front of me and increase my ability to find the good ones.

Niki - posted on 09/19/2010

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Nikki I will pray for you and your family. My oldest son will be 4 in november and when he went to the hospital for his wrist being cut they were on a code yellow at the time so they made my son wait a half hour befor even looking at his wrist to see if it was bad or just a small wound. Turns out he needed 6 stitches and some on the inside of it too. So hospitals are just a bunch of crap now days. I pray you son gets better Yours truely Britney (niki) Nixon

Nikki - posted on 09/18/2010

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Well thank you Jessi !!! You are so RIGHT !!! I am glad your friend's child got HELP finally , It is so strange to me these people at some hospital ER's can be so dismissive especially when it's a child of the age 4 :( I mean really huh??? I felt so blessed the lord led us to the clinic by my home as I felt compelled to take him there even after the hospital staff dismissed him as "a no big deal" so to speak!! Then to find out his tumor COULD be growing inwardly as well causing other health problems of which they saw his tumor too so I was baffled yet relieved at the same time that GOd intervened :) AMEN!!! Ethan is finally doing better as the CLINIC gave him a much needed antibiotic AND they set up a appt. for his tumor to be tended to. I felt like calling the hospital manager to tell him our story !! UG huh?? Thank you Jessi and God Bless you :), NIK

Jessi - posted on 09/18/2010

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hi nikki! long time no talk! i cannot believe the er would say that and not do a thing......ok well i actually can believe it. i've been told about children being able to run high fevers that would normally put an adult into the hospital but i think it's crap that your son was run "low" (to say) for NUMEROUS days WITH your efforts to try to reduce it and the drs still blew it off. a friend of mine, her son was running a fever of 105 and brought him to the hospital...they blew her off. later that night his 105 fever caused him to go into a seizure so she had to bring him back and found out he had pneumonia. i hope your son gets the treatments he needs and recovers quickly!

Charlotte - posted on 09/17/2010

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Men can be such a freaken pain. I hope all goes well with Ethan. Best wishes.

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