Raising my own son alone, even though his father comes to visit once in awhile

Monique - posted on 09/20/2009

From reading all ur comments on this subject... it made me realize that i am not alone and there are other women who are or have gone thru this.... plus they raise more than one child.... i give these women "thumbs up" for their excellent job in raising their kids ALONE (along w their families and friends)!..... I wish u all best of luck and keep doing what u r doing for u and ur child (children)! Even though, i am not a religious person, i would like to say "God bless you"! ;)

Victoria - posted on 09/20/2009

Hi I am vickie I am raising three boys myself ranging from 19,11,10.It is not easy sometimes I just want to scream but prayers works wonders

Gina - posted on 09/20/2009

I have been a single mom for almost 12 yrs. 3 kids, 2 boys (now 22 and 19) 1 girl (now15). I wish I could say it's a breeze but I would be lying. But I will say I think I depended on my children as much as they depended on me, cause many days it was thier hugs, smiles, i love yous, and sometimes even thier arguments that got me through the days and of course the most important God. I have done a lot of praying and crying in the tough times and a lot of thanking Him in the good and bad. But I will say this my kids and I have an incredible relationship. They talk to me about so much, sometimes toooo much, haha. But the love we have in our house is wonderful. And the closeness between the three of them is also incredible. Like you my parents have always been there for us and without them and my grandparents and friends I don't know if I could have done it, especially on those days when 3 needed to be at 3 diffenent practices at different fields and at the same time. I guess what I'm trying to say is pull your children close to you and love them, watch them grow and be ready to let go when the time comes cause when that happens you'll find all the love you have given them comes back to you 10 fold. The dad is the one missing out NOT you!! And unfortunatly the children really do know when they get older who has always been there by thier side through everything!!! My kids turn to me and my family first, and it's by thier choice, because they know we are the ones that have always been there. My prayers are with you, and YOU can do this. And it is ok to take a bread from you children, you need it and guess what they need it too. Good luck and God be with you!

Monique - posted on 09/20/2009

Hi there, everyone. It seems like i have not tell u gals that my son's father is also my (estranged) husband.... we have been separated for almost 2 yrs..... the thing is that he moved out when our son was ONLY a few months old! I was really mad at him for that... then now, i just want him to be more around our son to see him grow and be the father he should be for our son. So far, he has been visiting when he doesn't have to work... he lives quite far from us.... Anyhow, i just hope that he will be in my son's life and be there for him!

Lisa - posted on 09/20/2009

you will get thru this..its hard yes.... but try to involve him as much as possible...at least he is there.....my daughters father isnt in my daughters life anymore..for the last 5 years and she is 16 she was daddys little girl always !!,and she has had a really really hard time with this......hopefully he will stay in your sons life..... good luck !!

Samantha - posted on 09/18/2009

Ive been a single mom for over 4 years now. Its tough, but like you said, my family is great. The added help would be great, but im finding that i like the independence of no man in the house lol. that and my 3 yr old is male enough for anyone. My oldests dad doesnt make much of an effort, but my 3 yr olds dad lives close and is doing a wonderful job with him. i agree that you shouldnt rush out to find a new man, but there are some out there that will love your kids as their own. you just cant jump in head first. You can do this just as good on your own and with family. hang in there, your kids will love you all the more for it!!!

Faith - posted on 09/17/2009

Some days will be harder than others, but never give up and it sounds that you have a wonderful support system with your parents and others. Keep your head up and continue to love your child.

Mel - posted on 09/17/2009

It is definitely hard being a single parent. I have been one since my daughter was 1, she is now 3. I have a very supportive family and new partner, who help me through all the tough times. It can only get better with time. Good for you though! :)

Thandiwe - posted on 09/17/2009

I am in the same predicament I am trying to cope. I want him around for my child, NOT for me and it seems like it's my fault the child has to go through this. But, we can't control anyone's actions but our own. Be strong and keep moving on. Everything will work out. Keep your strong support system very close to you, it always helps.

Ellen - posted on 09/17/2009

Your little boy is the best gift you could ever have. Don't waste too much time or energy on this man. The sooner he is out of your life, the better. You will always be a single Mom no matter whether you get another boyfriend. But, please, put your son and yourself first. Don't rush to find another one. He will not love him like his own.

Monique - posted on 09/17/2009

Hi, everyone.... thanks for all ur support and encouraging words. I am so glad that i got responses from you gals. I do believe that i will get thru thing. ;)

Ellen - posted on 09/17/2009

I have seven year old. His father has always been sporadic in his visits. He could not live without him when he was 4 - 6 years old even though he had to see him when his father when he decided. He is getting over it as he has lots of interests. I am so happy.

Safiya - posted on 09/17/2009

i am going through the same thing. it will be two years in december since i decided to make it on my own. my parents have been very supportive of my decision and iam very grateful for their support .my son loves them to bits , even more than his father who comes to visit twice a week. so dont worry too much. you will get used to raising your child by yourself

Kimberly - posted on 09/17/2009

i am going threw the same thing and it is really hard

Maleunta - posted on 09/17/2009

monique..one day @ a time..sound like you have a lazy parent>.I taught my kids father how to love them..maybe you can ease the teaching in on your kid father..allow him to be a dad...include invite to any occasion..it take time however it can happen..goodluck

Candice - posted on 09/16/2009

my parents keep me going on the rough days too. It gets easier, but having support definitely helps when it feels lonely. Keep up the good work!