Jan - posted on 05/29/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )
I am very saddened right now. A little about my situation is I'm a mother to a beautiful biracial 3 year old daughter with my now ex. We had a six month long relationship that ended due to him cheating and getting that girl pregnant around the same time as me. He denied our baby even after paternity established and I placed him on child support, which in turn required a state 2nd dna test, for a whole year he still did nothing.
He went to prison when she turned one and the other woman, other baby mama walked away from him and got with someone else. We wrote while he was in there for 2 years, I visited and we got back together. Two weeks before he got out because he started to sound like he hadn't changed I ended it.
He got out a week ago and the 2nd day he was out he called asked for our baby and how she was and talked to her, he came over that night and we slept together. I got frantic that Id messed up then but it seemed fine because the next day he texted asking about her again, talked to her on the phone and we took her to the park and for ice cream. But ten minutes into the 2nd playdate he asked was I going to give him some (more) sex.
I told him no and that me and her were leavign and going to the store. I go home from the store (and Id dropped our daughter off to my mom) and there he was parked in front of my place. When he got inside he wasn't taking no for an answer and my dumb behind didn't do much to try and stop him. I felt cheap and dirty after but he assured me all was well and he would call me about the baby.
Well I was still freaking out by that afternoon the next day because no usual good morning hows the baby, let me talk to her text or call came. I text him and told him nothing sexual can ever happen between us again because I want to be sure us being around each other is about her and not sex. He said he respected that and we can be good friends and even better parents.
But what is hurting me is that he STILL didn't ask where she was, how she was or anything. Im currently in the process of a move and I told him give me until Thurs to get situated and I will call him so he can talk to her and he simply said "aight". That's the last Ive heard from him. Im terrified that my 2nd moment of weakness has cost my daughter a relationship with her father and on the other hand what if he only wants to seem to care about her when he wants something.
He certainly didn't act as concerned about her today as the other couple of days. I guess I will have to wait until I call him on thursday to see if he sounds upbeat when I call him to talk to her. Part of me wonders should I even be the one to call or see if he does it on his own? I already said I would but I dont want to seem like Im pressuring him or begging him to be there for her because she is so much more than someone who has to beg for ANYONE (daddy and all's) affections. Im wondering should I back off and wait and see what he does but Im scared if I dont be the one to call then he will use that as his excuse to walk away. What would you do?