Single and hating it

Angelic - posted on 06/09/2011

Just have faith that it will happen for you when it is time...i felt sort of like you myself but I learned rushing it, or taking time out for the first thing that jumps at you isn't good either. Im now on child 2 and have made some pretty dumb choices when i was"lonely". I wasn't loneyly when I met baby number 2 daddy but i could have taken some more time to enjoy being myself with my first son. Men are out there, good men, just chill out and be content with being and doing you. Trust me, I desire a mate too but I know if I rush it or just plain do things the wrong way, i could end up with baby daddy number 3 and the "oh I'm not ready for a relationship tip". Hey I don't want that to happen to you. Im here waiting with ya, be patient and never lie about your being a mommy, lots of guys give us single moms lots of respect for what we do.

Shelley - posted on 06/08/2011

It helps to stay busy. Kind of redundant in your case! I have found though, that if you can find a chore/task/hobby that soothes you, it helps. Something that while you're doing it, that's ALL you're doing. Painting. Mowing. Grooming the pets/cage/tank cleaning. Maybe it's the connecting with SOMEthing that helps. A moving brush, a humming mower, the pets.
And, now that I mention it, even though I'm very allergic, having my lovey cats does help. They are very affectionate, but not needy. My son's tarantula (a gift from his DAD!) - not so much. These are substitutes, straight up, for companionship or friends or someone with whom you have something in common. Don't fool yourself. Another thought - a play group for you and your wee hip-dweller can give you to at least someone to talk with, even if you don't become best buds. And you just might find another like-minded mom, or a like-minded dad for that matter. And one other thing - steer clear of shopping when you're feeling desperately lonely. It's always financially disastrous for me when I do that!!

Sarah - posted on 06/07/2011

Adult conversation is something we have to have as single mothers. My son is 4 and I have never had a man in his life. I have learned that even tho i go to work more than full time and manage a restaurant...interaction with coworkers is not always enough. I have found friends that don't have kids, but recently I found a good friend who has kids and it is therapudic to hang out with her and her kids. We have a great understanding for what eachother goes thru and laugh all day at the kids' antics. I have not even looked for a man because I feel I don't want friends, work, and a man competing for my attention all the time, too much to balance. I've tried dating but found myself literally being pulled in different directions. Hope that helps! :-) hang in there!

Denise - posted on 06/06/2011

Occassionally I feel the same way, I am also a single mom but I guess for me I grew up an only child, so for the most part, it's pretty easy being alone...have you tried to just keep yourself busy? Maybe keep yourself occupied...my only focus right now is making sure that my lil one is safe!

Jennifer - posted on 06/05/2011

Thanks everyone. I know it will happen when it's meant to it's just hard being patient till then. I'm feeling a lot better now that I'm working and interacting with people again, it's been a while since I've been in a social situation. It wasn't just being single that's been getting to me, it's not having any friends since I'm in a new city also.

Kenyetta - posted on 05/30/2011

I understand how you feel. I'm a single parent to a one year old. I became a single parent when I was four months pregnant. My daughter is my world and words can't express how I feel. I understand how you feel in every way. I don't go out, hang or anything. Just have faith that it'll work out. Give it time and have patience cause that special guy would find you.

Ashley - posted on 05/29/2011

give it time! It was a year before I met a nice guy. I felt lonely and gave up on men and then BAM. I met a great guy and I've been with him for well over a year now.

Sometimes things happen when you least expect it to! It's hard to meet guys when you have a child but.. thats just it. You need a Man, not a boy. :p There are men willing to step up.

Tabitha - posted on 05/29/2011

Well my son is 19 months old now and Ive been doin it alone all this time I went to school and now work full time its hard as hell but at the end of the day when I might feel alone I remember I dont need a man...anyway when is there time

JuLeah - posted on 05/29/2011

Sorry, but I think you gotta get good with where you are at. Who do you want to meet? A guy who wants a lonely confused frusterate women, or a guy who has the skills/desire/strength to deal with a confident, able, independent women?

Jules - posted on 05/28/2011

I don't really have any good advice but just wanted to say your not alone on how you feel. I also have a 8 month old and the father only really shows up when he needs somewhere to stay. But i wouldn't give up at all i have a cousin who is also a single mum since she was pregnant and her child is 9 months and she has met someone awsome who appreciates her and her baby, so there are some good men left in the world...our time will come :)