Single with 6 children....

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

I raised my children alone for 10 years. I had 4 teenagers in Jr HS and HS at once. It was a challenge but I got through it and so did my kids. Now 5 of them are responsible adults with careers and lots of education. My youngest is still at home with me and is going to turn out just as well as the others. (THANK GOD!!!) Was it luck? I'm still wondering. I guess my point is, if I can do it, so can YOU! I had to support my children myself (no child support). I'm a business consultant willing to help single moms for free. I know I could have used help. So if you need any advice of any sort, let me know. I'm willing to help.

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[deleted account]

Amy-my kids weren't perfect. The same things happened to me when they were teenagers, except no friends were allowed in my house unless I was home. I had rules and chores written down for everyone. I know it seems like you have to treat them like you did when they were toddlers, because YOU DO! Teenagers are trying to figure things out-who they are, if they are good or bad, and it's up to you to make sure they come through with high self worth. To me that's everything. There's something going on with our sons right now. There aren't alot of good examples for our boys. If you wnat your son to grow up to be the man of the house, support his family, and be a loving faithful father, then as mom's we somehow have to instill this in them without the help of a father figure. I don't know how involved his father is, but the fact that MOST men leave us for other women, that in itself is a terrible lesson for your son. Send him to me here in CA and I'll put your 17 year old to work! He will come home a different boy!!!!!! haha I had something I called "lock down". If my kids got to a point where they were getting way off track (hanging around the wrong crowd, or doing very poorly in school (I drug tested my kids. Some said they liked it because they could respond to an offer with "sorry I can't my mom drug tests me" It took the pressure off. They never complained about it.) My second husband abandoned us leaving his daughter with me. I've lived through tough times. You can do it too. Have a family meeting. (we had one a week) to discuss the rules and the punishments if the rules are not followed. Have them help you decide on them and write them down. Put them on th refrigerator and stick to them! Try to stay calm. If you need any support from me, let me know and I'll give you my cell number. You HAVE to be tough and loving at the same time!! This is a pivotal part of your 17 yr olds life! I'm here if you need me, Amy!!

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Amy - posted on 05/28/2011

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This has been a tough week on me with my kids. There is no respect in our house. I lost all control a couple of years ago, when their dad left me after 22 years. Everyone complains i gripe and yell too much, but that is only after i have asked them to do something more than once. I swear i am going to have to do what I did when they were little kids, and give them a cookie if they do ANYTHING! I am so tired of asking them to clean the bathroom or do dishes, go to work for 9 hours, come home to find 2 or three extra kids at my house, and everyone in lying around on couches, and not a stitch of housework has been done. My 17 year old was on parental house arrest by order of the court, for a month. The first 3 weeks was awesome. Until he figured out that it really was up to ME on what happened to him at his pretrial. The last week he was back to him old self again.

I have been trying so hard to get control back in this house. I just not sure how. They are good kids basically. I don't know how to get them to do anything. I am constantly broke, so allowances aren't even in the picture.

[deleted account]

My kids were and are always respectful to me. That's why I think we made it through so well. If you respect them, they will respect YOU. If you give them rules and you stick to them without question, they will know what to expect and they will feel that they deserve their punishments. I think one of the worst things I've seen done to kids is to punish them when they do not feel deserving. This just breeds resentment in my opinion.

Amy - posted on 05/21/2011

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I have 4 kids. 1 is living with my ex, and that was a mistake letting him go live there. We was on honor roll when he moved in with his dad, back in October. Now, he will be lucky to pass 9th grade! He was out of school for a week with the flu, and also contracted mono since living with dad. This is a child that was hardly ever sick living with me. Anyway, i have thee kids at home, (19, 17, 12) that drive me absolutely crazy at times, and usually, I love escaping to work, lol How did you do it?

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