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sleep overs at two

ADILENE - posted on 12/14/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

well my son started sleep overs 2 weeks ago, i don't know if its the right time since he's so small. i was fine with my son getting to spend more time with his dad, i mean its already hard as it is. so i find out that on his second sleep over he left my son to the care of his new girlfriend's mom and decided to go to a Christmas party at a bar. I'm so mad at him, my son only knows him and he is just starting sleep overs and he leaves him to the care of someone i don't even know. i am considering completely removing sleep overs since he is careless to my son's responsibilities, i think visitation is fine until he's older but i don't know if i should. Plus my son doesn't like to go with him, he cries every time he's gonna leave and says "no daddy!". i'm so confused, i want the best for my son and don't know if keeping him away from his dad will be the best. Suggestions anyone?

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JuLeah - posted on 12/15/2010

3,133

Too young for sleep overs, waaaaayy too young. And, no, if your ex wishes to see your son, he doesn't dump him with another and go to a bar.
This will not 'get better' on its own. Your ex won't one day grow a brain. Get something in writing now based on this event and puts you in control. Your number one job is to protect your son.
You are not keeping him from his son. You are setting up a situation where your son will be safe. Your ex will play by the rules or he won't play. That is his choice and on his if he refuses.

Teresa - posted on 12/14/2010

10,689

What are the court orders?

I don't know what YOU should do, but I'll tell you that I have no choice. My 2 year 8 month old son is going w/ his sisters to be w/ their dad for the entire second week of Christmas break. My son is still breastfeeding (I know it's 'old', but we've been following child-led weaning), has never been w/ his father for longer than 10 hours at a time, only been w/ his father for a total of 19 hours in the past 8 months, has never done an overnight w/ ANYONE, and hates sleeping at night anywhere other than in our room... and the judge (and my ex) doesn't care and thinks it's perfectly acceptable for this vulernable little boy to be torn away from his home and mother for a week straight.

Sorry to vent on your post, but it's maddening that the only people that DON'T think this is an absolutely absurd idea are my ex, his wife, and the judge. 'Amazingly' enough, anyone who actually KNOWS my son is shocked and appalled at the judge's decision.

Good luck w/ whatever happens!!