sometimes i just feel so alone... so stressed... we all need a break sumtimes

Yaritza - posted on 03/03/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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my sons father doesnt help me wit anything at all he doesnt even call to c how his child is doin it kills me how we acually sat down n planned to have a child n wen my son was born everything came to light... he was cheating on me he had another baby on the way he denyed my son n his mother was covering for him also... im to the point that even if he was to call i dont want him around because ive been doin it all alone wit the help of my family but my family only stays wit my son if im at work... wen im not at work im wit jonathan... dont get me wrong i love bein wit my son n i love him to death but sometimes us as women need a lil times to ourselves just to relax... its been a year since his father decided to do a 360 on me n his child n still i feel stuck i dont even date because im so afraid of bein hurt again... am i bein stubborn..i dunno if i just need some more time or wat but it does get lonely at times even doe my son keeps me busy... if any other mothers would like to share their stories please feel free to do so.. im tired of feelin like im da only one goin threw this

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Yaritza - posted on 03/08/2010

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ladies thank u so much for commenting on my topic i really appreciate n i have to admit dat it does help alot to hear dat i am not alone out der... i will keep u all in my thoughts n prayers... from here on out ima do wat i hav to do for me n my son i spoke to some of my family members n the also agree dat i need to get out from time to time n they r more than willin to stay wit my son...n as far as my sons father goes he can move on wit his life n leave me alone if he doesnt look for my son now i dont want him to look for him wen hes older... if my son wants to knw who his father is den i will b more than happy to help him but i doubt dat my son will miss any of that cuz im gonna b mom n da from here on out i will roll around wit him if i have to lol anyways once again thank for helping me wit this situation in my life it helped alot

Antoinette - posted on 03/08/2010

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You are not alone in this girl. There are many of us in the same position. Do you have a family member that would take your son for a few hours? reach oout to them for help.

Amanda - posted on 03/08/2010

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I too have been nedding some alone time! My story is a little different, see I have two boys who fathers are not around,its for the best,and on top of that I help care for my step dad and my step sister. My step dad has ALS and needs a lot of care, I fell trapped beacue of not haveing any me time anymore. I dont care about datting. I just would like to have some good friends to hang with once in a while. But when I think of that I fell bad leaveing my kids. I love my boys with all my heart but I really needed me time to keep me up to par!!!

Koren - posted on 03/07/2010

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I so agree, when is my time for a break, in fact what is a break??? My break is getting up in the morning a little earlier than my son to take a shower.

Tarysha - posted on 03/05/2010

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Yaritza, you are very much not alone! I am the single mom of an 11 year-old girl. Never been married. I had her when I was 16 and when I broke up with her father (he wanted to get married and live in a trailer park, not finishing our educations, etc.), he turned to drugs. He tried to come into her life when he got out of prison and I allowed it (I supervised), but when she said enough, he screwed up again and is back in prison until she's at least 18. It is difficult - you are mom and dad. But, you can take time for yourself - watch a movie and have a glass of wine one your son is in bed. See if your family will watch him for a night, and stay in, maybe have a friend over and do pedicures while watching a chick flick. You can create your relaxation time. Also, yes, you probably will get hurt again, but you can't love again if you don't put yourself out there. Trust me, at 27 I am still unmarried but have had some great relationships that have taught me more about what I want and don't want. There is someone out there for you. Take care of you while you're looking for him and you will get him.

LoRae - posted on 03/05/2010

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Hi, I'm LoRae, I'll share my story. i am 31 yrs old, i am the single mother of 2 boys.my first sons father never wanted me. my seconds sons father cheated on me and abandoned us, but not with out first breaking my nose. My family does not help me. they don't babysit, loan money or come over to help me out even if i am super sick. last fall when my brother beat me up cuz i wasn't going to let him steal $400 from me my family decided to believe his version of things and no one would talk to me. for a brief, almost happy time i was married. in april 2009 he bust in the house at 2 in the mornig yelling that he wanted a divorce-- and then he abandoned us too. which is where i am now. somtimes it seems like i was put on this earth to give other people someone to torment. no one has ever been there for me. i have always had to make my own way and the going gets very very hard. there was a time when i had to walk 6 miles a day to get the boys to daycare and my self to work or to the store. i haven't had any heat in my house all winter, all we have are two space heaters. and it got as cold as -30 this winter. i truely know the meaning of roughing it. i've been though so much and everyone just leaves me all the time. the boys are at thier dads now every weekend. i could go out after work and try to find somone. i just sit at home and cry though. i'm so alone. everyone leaves me and hurts me and uses me. there i times i would just want to take the car and just drive it into a wall and die, i can't because the boys need me but sometimes i even think it might be okay if i do it while they are gone. but then i remember was losers thier dads are nd how much they love me and i try to go on. So, believe me, you are not the only one! I'll never know why people are so horrible sometimes. All i know is that i am not horrble and that has to mean that there are others like me somewhere. I give up on finding anyone though so i know how you feel. my heart is gaurded by an inpeneratable fortress. no one gets in.not even if i want them to. it's like i have just been hurt so much so bad that my heart just can't let them in no more like it knows that i can't make though another one of these. I'm just so sorry the world is the way it is. I hope and pray for you and your son! try to find a hobby or something and don't worry about finding someone. after everything i still believe that you don't find love,love finds you and i think it could happen, maybe. i just want to be wonderful for them when they finally come along and wonderful for the boys right now. i get real depressed though. it's hard. gotta keep fighting!!

Terra - posted on 03/04/2010

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Hey Yartiza;

I was also cheated on when i was 7 months pregnant with my daughter Emma-Leigh. after she was born he was in her life for a few months.. but refused to come and visit at my house.. which was my parents house when i first had Emma-Leigh. When she was 4 months old he packed up and moved all the way across the country. i hear from him maybe once a month still but there is no support on his part; he doesnt seem to want anything to do with Emma-Leigh but his family does so he pretends to care.. pretends hes going to come and visit and constantly promises he is going to send money as well... in all honesty i think i would prefer if he just stopped caring all together.

i work 40-50 hours a week.. including travel time to take my daughter to my mothers which is an hour going there and coming back every morning and evening... get maybe two days a week where i don't have to work and ontop of it all when i have my sister come to babysit i am up until 3 in the morning cleaning the disaster she has left behind.

Personally i don't need much alone time for myself; Emma-Leigh is usually in bed around 930 ten oclock so i clean up and then have a cup of hot chocolate and unwind for the day... but deffinatly once a month i need to have that alone time... I have family that takes her one weekend a month... its my weekend that i work but when i come home i can just relax and not have to wake up to a screaming eleven month old.

Maria - posted on 03/03/2010

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Hey, Yaritza!

I feel you on that one. and im sorry to hear about that.But NO, you are not alone. i promise you on that one. i went thru it too with my boys dad. i was 7months with our 2nd he cheated and it was all over. he now has two more kids and never calls or visits with mine. it took me two years to recover. to find myself and to love my children more. i used to have so much hate toward him i felt like i didnt want my kids around. i had really bad baby blues for the longest... i no longer caring hatred in my heart & i forgave him and moved on with my life. if i were you i would socialize with other moms, but you do need time to yourself...dont forget that. you'll go crazy chica if you dont. i would go out once a month with friends..i always had family or a friend come over for company so i wouldnt be alone. that helped me out alot too! support from freinds and family is a blessing. i hope all goes well, for you...

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