Starting a custody battle..any help?

Carmen - posted on 08/26/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My Son is 2 years old so he knows who daddy is.

im having trouble with his father.

he would always come home with rashes horrible ones were his bottom was bleeding.

his father only wants to fight refuses to be respectful towards me.

he pays nothing..i pahttp://www.circleofmoms.com/mommies-doin... for everything

he split his eye open at is father house a few months back..

and then to top it off he tells me a few weekends ago that he wanted to give me a heads up That srs will be checking in on my son.

Apparently while at a visit with his father.. his father decided to take him to his"booty calls house" she has 2 small children so he figured they could play.

they stayed the night and my son got out of the house and was found in a field by the grocery store a block or so away from her house. around 6am. the police were called and they knocked on doors until his father was found. i haven't allowed him back to his fathers since this incident happened. i have told him he could come by my house to see his son which he did once. but didnt stay more than 45 mins.

i was thinking about going down to the court house to file for custody. i lost my job over the incident. So im trying to find another job just dont know how im going to afford lawyer fees.. any ideas or helpful things i could do?

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Marian - posted on 09/12/2012

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There should be legal aid services that can help you petition the court yourself. They will help you with filing out the documents and what you need to present in court. Check in the family services division of your local court house.

Not sure what state you live in, but you probably could have filed for a temporary restraining order to keep your ex away from your son, while you get custody figured out. Legal aid can help with that too.

First things first start writing down all the incidents of neglect that have occured. If you took your son to the doctor for the rashes, get copies of those visits and if anything was prescribed. Copies of the police report from the big incident are most important.

When you go to court, don't be a woman scorned, be a concerned Mom. Don't bring up issues related to your relationship with the other parent. Stick to talking about why the other parents needs to not have custody, and have proof to back everything up. Judges don't want to take kids away from their parents, so be prepared for a middle ground. In your case it sounds as though full custody to you, with supervised visitation may be an option.

Seek out as many free resources as you can. Take it from me lawyers are expensive! I made sure that when I was going through my custody issues, that I kept on task and tried to find solutions to issues, rather than drag them out and fight about them. It doesn't serve anybody accept the lawyers well, when parents don't stay focus on what's best for their child.

Hope that helps.

Wendy - posted on 08/30/2012

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Hmmm... Where do you live? US or Canada? The laws might be different. I reside in Canada so I am more familiar with Canadian law. You should really get to your local court house and talk to duty counsel (that is free), maybe get a retraining order against your ex for the interim so he cannot be around you while you are doing this. Hope that is some what helpful.



*Hugs*

Wendy - posted on 08/29/2012

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Get a copy of the police report for that missing incident. You can file for free at the court house, make sure it's an emergency custody hearing for the welfare of the child. That way the other parent will not be served. You will get full custody on a temp basis, until another court date is set and then you can really hash out details I recommend supervised visits until this guy takes a parenting course. Also get a note book and document all dates and times of past misbehaviour and current issues that come up that way you will never stutter when explaining why you need full custody.

The great thing about the law is you can represent your self. Clearly this man is not a good parent. I would suggest sooner rather than later. This is going to be a tough ride so keep your head up and good luck.



Let me know if there is anything that I can possibly help you with...

Chaya - posted on 08/26/2012

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Get a copy of the police report and file for custody, given the circumstances, your boy is better off with you. The only thing you should need to remember is that you should not say anything negative to your son about your ex.

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Wendy - posted on 08/31/2012

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Thank you! This is coming from personnel experience with my son's father. Just do not let your son's father near him. Because if there is no set custody from the court that means the two of you both have rights to your child. I don't know if you have any affiliation with church groups or any other support, now is the time to get that help. I thinks Children's Aid is your best bet, I know it may seem scary to contact them, but that is what they are there for. To help people and children in situations like yours. I did that and it helped me so much as they were on my side. I truly believe from what you have posted that you are the better parent and if your son's father is really not a good parent it will all come to surface, just be prepared that he will try to take you down in any way that he can. Men like that think of this situation as a game and not the best interest of the child, they want to take your child for spite and not because they can provide better. Good luck and keep me posted!



*hugs*

Wendy - posted on 08/30/2012

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Ok, you need to find out what the rules are for your state. Here is a helpful site - http://www.hg.org/family.html at the upper left of the page there is an area where you can put your country, state and city. Or maybe can call children services in your area and see if they can help you. Don't take no for an answer and try to get as much free help as you can.

Carmen - posted on 08/30/2012

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i went down to the police station and they refused to give me the police report.The lady at the desk said i could call record but doubts ill get it because im not listed on the report.

Carmen - posted on 08/26/2012

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i would never pass negative comments on to my son. i believe he has a right to his own opinion.

i was raised by my mother solely because my father was unfit she never blamed him or told me anything until i was old enough to understand.

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