Stress ............ Anyone else feel like this ????????

Tijiana Chelal - posted on 03/28/2013

I'm a single mom of three. I have two boys and one girl. Yes it's very stressful. I'm on walfare and my ex's mom just took to of my kids away from me. Because I don't have my own house and I don't have a job. I have bills to pay and I'm fighting the court system. I haven't slept in two whole weeks my youngest child is about to be two years old. Trying to find a job and get my kids back and the drama with my childrens father. I stress everyday from sun up to sun down. So yes I understand completely how you feel Michelle. But what I understand is What doesn't kill us as women, Makes us stronger then ever. So keep your head up.

Leah - posted on 09/15/2009

Idon't kow how you do it with 3 children because I can bearly manage with just one. But I have done it alone since he was born. He is now 6 and as one of the other moms said giving them chores is one of the best things you can do. For example while I am cooking dinner he will be folding clothes and putting his up where they belong or he will sweep and mop the floors for me. If you start them out young ding these tings then it is a fun thing for them to do. He also helps rinse the dishes and put them in the dish washer. Just little things like that help so much. I tried going back to school while working but just could seem to make it work. I have to leave my house for work at 5:45 am and don't return til 5:45 pm and then have class starting at 6 until 10 and still having to pick hi up from day care and feed him and home work, etc. there was just no way. I know the stress you feel and my best advice to you is Moms do it because they have to so no matter how hard it gets you will find a way and things will get better.

Michelle - posted on 09/14/2009

Yes, it is hard. I have 2 kids, an a student, and work full time. My daughter plays softball, my son just started preschool. I'm the only one to clean, cook, and find time to be a good mom. It gets to be too much at times. I usually do fine for awhile then it just piles up and I crack. We just do the best we can each day, and that is all we can do. Remember that the kids will remember story time, long talks, and snuggles much more than how clean the house is or how tall the grass is in the yard. I have started getting them to help me with chores to spend time together. We all fold clothes together, my daughter (8) helps vacuum, while my son (3) grabs toys out of the floor. I make a reward at the end that encourages them to hurry so we can read a story or watch a special show. It doesn't always work, but if it ever works, it helps.

Diane - posted on 09/14/2009

your not alone michelle :) i have 4 kids and overwhelmed as well...what i do is time management. a lot of sacrifice in your part but one day it will all come back to you. i never stop crying but i dont want my kids to see me like that so i stay strong for them. you can definetly do it!

Kirsty - posted on 09/12/2009

Honey you are difinitely not alone...I am twenty two and have two children four and two,I was a victim of servere domestic violence and my children and i have just been moved from a refuge near our local community (where i had some friends) to a location where i know no one except my therapist and ladies in my housing group (womens housng-safe houses) I have been recently diagnosed with bipolar and am a reformed alcoholic as that was how i coped with my life...I am thankful to be safe and to have my children safe but i spend many hours a day feeling guilty because i am still not happy i am lonely and the everyday things get so mundain i have very little interaction with adults and sometimes feel that i will go insane if i don't have an intelligent adult conversation...bills,food clothing,pre school fee's etc never seem to stop I get very overwelmed and wonder when will it get easier...Don't get me wrong i enjoy my children...but sometimes it is just so hard!!!

Cicily - posted on 09/10/2009

I only have a one little boy but I can totally understand stress. Can't even imagine having multiple children but please hang in there. I have recently in the past year have become a single mom. My divorce is final in a few months. However, it has been just me and my little one since he was born since his father chose to be stationed overseas unaccompanied. I use to be sad about this but after having a heart to heart with one of my closest and dearest friends I look at our situations differently. My girlfriend shared with me that when she was very young her mother left Korea and her very abusive father. Her mother had no education, but had an opportunity to come to the U.S. She learned English, worked at very labor intensive jobs, put herself through college (which took about a decade to complete), earned her Masters at Harvard, joined the US Army, retired as a full bird colonel, wrote a biography, and is now an international public speaker. Pretty freaking awesome! She still managed to do all this by herself and raise the most amazing daughter. My friend is a very beautiful, intelligent (Harvard grad and now military is paying her for her Masters at Yale), kind, giving, loving, woman who loves her mother more than anything else. She simply smiled at me and said, "You are all your son needs and this will bring you closer than you ever know." I cried that night while my friend held my hand and I knew she was right. My son will know what it is like to have a mother who loves him unconditionally and who would sacrifice herself to better his life. He will appreciate the women in his life and learn how to treat them with respect and as equals. I just had to share this story because it helps me through those hard days. You know when you have no money left, you have loads of laundry, the dishes are piling up, the little is throwing a tantrum, and you still have deadlines to meet at work. Eventually this will all be a memory. I am proud to belong to such a strong and resilient group of women. Kudos to all of you for everything you do for you babies. Aloha and all the best.

AshLee - posted on 09/10/2009

You are not alone I just have one baby who is 8 months old and I work full time, go to college full time and take care of everything else by my self. just keep your head up one day it will get easier!

Angie - posted on 09/03/2009

I think that we are all very strong women for trying to do the best for our children. Although everyday feels like a struggle we need to remember this. I am also a single mother of three and there have been plenty of days where it felt almost impossible to even get out of bed. It's hard trying to juggle all the pressures of being a single parent while keeping a positive attitude for your kids. My babies are 12, 8, and 4. They are my everything. We do what we have to because they depend on us. Good luck to you Michelle and just remember you are not alone.

Marilyn - posted on 09/02/2009

I feel you on that one. I only have one and sometimes I am so stressed I just don't know what to do. Try to get a sitter for about a week so you can calm down and relax. Think about all the things that are driving you crazy so it can flow right out your mind. You'll have plenty of time to get it together cause you won't have the kids running around doing all type of stuff. To me it's like when your stressed that's when the kids are more needy so, take a moment and get yourself back on track. That always works for me.

Shannon - posted on 09/01/2009

i hate being a sinle mother of jus one somtimes... made props to u with 3 kids! i jus broke down today.. jus know that ur not alone an when things get tough jus know thats itll jus get better again in a couple of days... im having trouble with the county payn for my daughters days care while i go to school, they want me to work also but i cant work be a full time student an take care of my lil girl.. its really hard... keep ur head up things will get better :)

Sarah - posted on 08/31/2009

Hey babes, i too am a single mom with 4 kids 17,16,14 &9 yrs and ther are times wen all i can do is cry..

But then ther are days wen all i do is smile and laugh and that is due to the children.

It is tough and lots of hard work, but with lots of rewards too.

maybe see ur DR, see if they can help as i too had to be on anti- depressents for a time but now im not :-) they really did help me lots.

i find talking to other ppl especially mothers in same sit helps alot as i then realise its not just my lot or me, and it is perfectly 'normal' if ther is a word,lol

Take care babes xxxx

Annmarie - posted on 08/31/2009

honey i only have one child, and i feel the same, so the fact that you are doing this alone with 3 kids is amazing. we all have bad days, its a tough job, but dont worry you are not one, we all feel like it. its hard doing it on your own, but you are an amazing and strong woman just remember this when it gets too much, good luck dont let it get on top of you, and honey dont cry it will only make your eyes all red and puffy and then you will feel worse, it does get better its worth all the stress

Chassity - posted on 08/31/2009

They may need to change your Effexor to something different. Sometimes you have to try many different drugs before you find one that will work right for you. Prozac worked very well for me.

LaDonna - posted on 08/31/2009

I do all of the above and have a job. You have to have them help you thats what chores are for. It wont kill them and it will help them to learn to be responsible in an age where noone seems to be responsible for anything its always someone elses job or fault. I often feel like a one leg'd mom in an ass kickin contest! First of all there is this website called freecycle.org you go to the page and search for one in your area this is a place where people post the things they want to give away or they post things they need from clothing to furniture to appliances etc. This is how I met one of the moms I talk to I was giving her the clothes that my daughter had grown out of. Second make sure you are getting some "me time"! Its like setting a day aside for a date with you. paint your toenails. color your hair. take a long uninterrupted bubble bath. go to a movie or rent one you dont want the kids to see. you have to make time for you noone else will. It can be as simple as staying up 30 minutes later than the kids, putting your feet up and reading a book. It will help your sanity. Also dont be afraid to ask for help from your family or even his(if you have an amicable relationship with them). My ex's mothers ex(grandpa in our house) takes them EVERY sunday most often from 1-4. He has always been in their lives and sets aside that time to just be with the kids even if it is just taking them to his house. I also have tried date night with my kids and need to get back in the habit it works. I recently kept my son home instead of sending him to gpas and we grabbed a burger and went to see a movie just him and I. Then we did some laundry and dishes and visited a relative who had just had a baby. It is great for their morale.

Denise - posted on 08/30/2009

i also have 3 kids a 2400.00 month mtg, work as an rn 50 hrs per week. my 14 y/o has to be put away for bad behavior, my 5 y/o has aspergers and adhd, and my 2 y/o diagnosed with special needs. no child support, no family, no help. All i cn sy is that there are people like you out there. you are not alone. you must go on for your kids nd make it work someone. it sucks, but we gotta hope it will get better

Kim - posted on 08/30/2009

I know what your feeling and i have 2 kids

Chassity - posted on 08/30/2009

I have 3 kids also that are 7, 5, and 4. I totally feel where you are coming from!!!! But, us moms will make it somehow. We always find a way to pull through. Keep your head held high and always remember, we get the biggest rewards in the long run. Our children will grow up to be terrific men and women because of the values we have instilled in them and because we have worked our ass off for so many years! LOL Then, you can look and say, "Look what I did, BY MYSELF!"

Sherrie - posted on 08/30/2009

I know how this is, I have raised 4 kids by myself for along time now. My kids are grown now and stress seems to be here. My oldest s a truck driver and I worry about him while he is on the road. My next to oldest gets into trouble sometimes and cant keep a job. My third child is married w 2 girls and I worry about her alot bc the hubby is not all that great one. My youngest is still at home with a 7 moth old child, she is in Army Reserves but looking for full time work. I help her w my grandson, he is a hand full but I love him. Sherrie

Charity - posted on 08/30/2009

I'm a mother of three It is hard but just keep your head up and be strong. I knew what you are going throw. See i have 12 year old son and twins 8 year old girls and one of my twins need very special attention because she has Cerebral parsley but there are day I just want to crawl in a hole but I just walk out side for a couple of minute and count to 10 then I go back in and try again. If you every need to talk just leave me a message and will help the best I can.

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2009

Thank u ladies, it nice to hear im not the only 1, yes working with dr & pshyc to get better, already on 300mg efexor & still feeling like this ....... cant figure it out ................

Erica - posted on 08/28/2009

I am a single mom of 6 and I'm totally buried under the same pressures. I tried to do it all on my own. Suddenly I withdrew from my kids, started sleeping and crying, quit cleaning the house, my older kids were making sandwiches for the younger kids for dinner. It was like a blackness was sneaking up from behind me. I went to see a therapist but it wasn't helping. I mean I had moments of okayness, but than I'd have hours of guilt. I felt guilty because I was at work and they were with sitters (had a whole slew of crappy ones). I felt guilty because my older kids were watching them after school so I could work and on Sundays so I could hold down a second job. I felt stress at work because I couldn't keep up (it didn't help that through the spring, someone was always sicker than a dog).



One day at work I had a huge anxiety attack and I went to see my therapist. I'm on short-term disability now. I feel more in control of my life. My stressors are still mostly there, but getting the break from work and being on medicine is helping a bit. Now I'm trying to start childcare from my home so I can be with my kids.



Ignoring your feelings won't make them go away.

Leah - posted on 08/28/2009

Yes of course they do. I have 4 kids ages 7, 5, 4, and 3 and i have a partner but am still doing it on my own. I no just how you are feeling, have you been to your doctor and spoke to him/her about how you are feeling? Thats what you should do, because uyou sound just like me and im now on anti depression tablets. And now things dont seem as bad, there all still there but my head dosnt feel like a can of worms, which helps me deal with everything one by one with out feeling like crap and and worth less. I hope you feel better, i no just how your feeling and its sad..

Consuelo - posted on 08/26/2009

you are not alone even tho it feels like it. i have 2 kids in grade school, while i am working and going to school, keeping the house together and going to activities. i wonder at times how i made it this far...

JEN - posted on 08/26/2009

me too! My one keeps me stressed enough....and 3 cats

Candice - posted on 08/26/2009

frankly, i don't know how anyone does it with 3 kids. i have 1 and i feel overwhelmed sometimes.