Testing the limits...

Corina P. - posted on 09/26/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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What do you do about an eight-year-old who is testing the limits. Not making it bigger than it really is, telling the honest truth here: She is so bad that she is in the corner almost as soon as she comes out of her last session. What do I do?

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Corina P. - posted on 09/26/2009

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I've thrown away everthing she puts in her mouth, even expensive jewelry. I've taken away her tv. I even threw out two trunks full of toys she had all over the floor for two weeks. I can't touch her clothing because my sister bought them and I'd get beat. I've thrown out dozens of pairs of shoes for leaving them on the stairs. Took her door off her bedroom for slamming it. Took her computer away, ended her allowence, and even gave her daily chores. I'm just so tired, she is trying to have the upper hand, she wants to rule the house. I know this because she told me so.

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take things away she loves, if you have to take it away for a few days, i seen on one show about dealing with kids, one child was so disruptive and bad that everything in his room was taken from him except his bed, dresser and clothes, when the child listened and behaved he would recieve an item back, the child had to earn it back and appreciate what he had.

For when my son was younger and misbehaving i would threaten but not follow threw and he would seem to catch on even at the age of two, if you say you will do something because of bad behaviour, only warn once and then follow threw with your warning so they know you mean business this helped me get back control that i almost lost with mine.

Megan - posted on 09/26/2009

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Expression time is....time to run and let out energy. I don't know a better term for it. Y'know....wear herself down so all of her eight year old energy out of her body.
I cried when my daughter stood for the first time on her own! Crying because she doesn't get her way is something most kids I've seen do! They're kids! She may just be a softer hearted person than most.

Corina P. - posted on 09/26/2009

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Yes, I am a single mother, have been since I was 5months preg with her. She does not have contact with her father, she's only met him four times in her life. As for the 'expression time', I'm not sure what you mean by that. But I can tell you she is way too emotional. Crying at the drop of a hat if she doesn't get her way and today she burst into joy tears cause her baby brother stood on his own for the first time. I didn't get that. Everyone stands eventually.

Corina P. - posted on 09/26/2009

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I asked her kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade school to test her. They all said they would but never got around to it. She acts this way no matter where she is or who she is with. And she prefers the company of the 3yo and 5yo kids to kids her own age. Is this a problem I should worry about?

Megan - posted on 09/26/2009

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You're a single mother, I'm assuming since your posting in these forums.
Does your daughter have contact with her father? If she doesn't, maybe she's acting out because she's missing that 'part' of her world. If she does, does he put limits on her behaviour? I know too many mamas who have to play hardball because their babydaddy won't discipline at his house.

I think too many people test for ADHD too soon. She's eight, eight year olds are high strung. Maybe she isn't getting all of her energy out through the day? Are you giving ample 'expression' time?

Lanice - posted on 09/26/2009

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You proably should get her tested for ADHD and see if that is her problem, because if you are having these problems at eight its only going to get worst from here. Is she acting like that in school? Or only with you? Because you may be the problem. Talk to her pediatrician about having her evaluated.

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