The father in jail

Stephanie - posted on 04/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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So I have been with the babys father for 3 years off and on. It never once has been that healthy of a relationship but we stayed together. He has been unfaithful before and while I was pregnant and come to find out after I had my son which is only a month old. He says he wants to be with me and is trying.. He bought me flowers for the first time but I checked his phone and he seeing another girl.. Tried denying it at first... So haven't heard from him in two days and today I checked my email and his sister told me he is in jail for warrants. He has had a problem in the påst with drugs and I still believe he does just wont tell me the truth.. He loves his son but I dont know what to do. I dont wanna give up on him but at the same time how many times can I go threw this. I feel really alone. I dont have a cell to talk to anyone nor a car to get around. I feel really depressed. I look at my son and think he doesnt derserve any of this. It's hard because the father is the only person I can really talk to even though our relationship is based on lies. He is my shoulder to lean on when I can get ahold of him..Im just rambling on not sure if any of this is making sense.. I wish I could just get over him n move on.. How do you do and I need advice. Im from the Seattle area so if anyone is close let me know.

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Bonnie - posted on 05/02/2010

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I WISH I COULD TELL OU BECAUSE RIGHT NOW MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW IS RAISING MY GRANSON'S WITHOUT THEIR DAD HE IS INCARCERATED FOR 8 YEARS OR 2018 AN IT IS SO HARD BEING BOTH PARENT'S AN HERE I HAVE TO BE IN TWO DIFFERENT PLACES TILL HE RETURNS. BONNIE FROM GREENSBORO

Lauren - posted on 05/02/2010

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I am fifteen and the father of my son is in jail and i just resently found out he was cheating on me and doing drugs and now he is in jail. i let my ex's parents see my son but my sons father wll never see him because i dont want him to hurt my osn in the way he hurt me i will not give him the chance to ruin my sons life. he is way more then enough people in his life to make him happy. you can do it without him you are a strong women and you do not need him in your life. nor do oyu need him in your sons life if he is not a good influence on him. but when it comes down to it it is oyur decision.

Maria - posted on 05/01/2010

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No relationship that is based on lies is a real relationship. Dump him and move on.



I found out the father of my kids was a conman and cheated me, my parents & other people in our circle...; i gave him 2 gorgeous kids, but that was not enough for him to want to make a change, so i took the kids and left him - he is also presently in jail. And i will not hesitate to stop future attempts by him to see MY kids. They are MY kids, simply because he gave up his right to be their father, by being such a person.

Carolyn - posted on 04/30/2010

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hey there, i know exactly what you are going through.. i finally got the courage to leave my sons father while i was pregnant. before i found out i was preg he was abusive and had a problem with drinking.. which is what ultimately got him arrested to drinking an driving. well anywho... i felt the same way you do. though our relationship wasnt the greatest and we had problems i always thought that i could make things work and that he would change.. i was wrong.. things got worse and he continued drinking and cheating on me. u ultimately have to ask yourself if your child is going benifit from you staying in an unstable relationship with the father... though things may seem like they are going to fall apart and everything is difficult, you can do it.. believe in yourself! you will be amazed at what you are capable of and how much happier you can be.. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me anytime!!

Marcia - posted on 04/30/2010

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HI,
been there, had 2 boys (3&2) to a man who was toxic to me, intense. i felt like i had no one to turn to, But really part of me was ashame to open up to anyone so i try to put up them him for my boys hoping he might realize what was in front of him.
anyway he got caught drink driving and the courts gave him a chance to go to rehab or jail for 9months. so he spent 9months in rehab. i was depressed and thought to myself i will stand by him in the begining then 2months went by and i started founding my inner strength and realize he was toxic to my boys and i and that i could copy raising my babies.
i stop chasing him and he started chasing me, but i new he couldnt give me and my boys anything close to what i wanted for them in life. i deserve to be happy and my boys deserve to see that and be surrounded by that. i know he love these boys but cant love them the way they deserve, he calls now and then i only talk about the kids and let them chat for a blittle while.
I AM HAPPIER ON MY OWN.
sydney, australia you are more than welcome to add me to chat i have alot of free quite time at night...hehe

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