the guys i try to date all want to be her daddy

Deserae - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 20 month old daughter and her father just started helping out a little.but eventho he spends time with her he dosnt do any thang for her financaly ..every guy i try to date decides he wants to be her daddy and than it turns into were only happy if she is around how do i stop this from happening.....this cant be good for my child

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Rhonda - posted on 09/27/2009

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Stop, I repeat, stop exposing your daughter to men until you have come to the conclusion that man is going to be in your life for longer than a minute and a half! She is not a toy for them (or you) to play "Trial Daddy" with. Also she does not need to see men in and out of your life and you all's home like that. That will only teach her it is OK to have men in and out of her life with no committment. Let only those men that have earned your respect as a man and you have seen good qualities in (respectful of you, hard worker, provider, family oriented) meet and possibly spend time with your child. She and you are gifts to be earned, please remember that and don't give of yoursef freely. Love and blessings from one whose been there, Rhonda

Billie - posted on 09/26/2009

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Go ahead and date, but stop introducing them to her until you find the one you're ready to settle down with. You're right it's not good for her to have these different men around her, and while there is absolutely nothing wrong with you dating, you have to be more selective about whom you invite into her life. When you meet a man that makes you happy and expresses that he wants a serious future with you including marriage and all the things you want out of life, then you can slowly introduce that person to your daughter. Until then date discreetly.

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If you don't want them to focus soley on her maybe you should either put a hold on dating or see if you can get someone to keep an eye on her for an hour or two while you go out. Don't introduce them to her right away and get to know them and what they want before you bring her into the picture. It's awesome that the guys you are finding accept her but be careful of why they want her in their lives.

Crystal - posted on 09/28/2009

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i understand what your going through. I was dating this guy who wanted to be my daughters "daddy" and it was to the point that he didnt want her real father in her life at all. It was really frustrating and i had a hard time making both my boyfriend and my babys father happy and finally i had to just be single. It was the best thing for my child. I understand my boyfrind had the best intentions it was just so rocky i didnt want to put my little girl through all that. Just take a break until you figure it all out.

User - posted on 09/27/2009

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I told my ex I don't want any new bfs/gfs around our daughter unless the relationship has lasted at least a year. He's known for not having serious relationships, so I don't want random girls around my daughter. But wow if you're finding multiple guys who want to spend time with your little one, you're definitely heading in the right direction! Like another poster said, maybe just don't bring them around her right away... make sure the guy realizes it's a priveledge to be around her for treating you so well :)

Megan - posted on 09/25/2009

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Why wouldn't you want a guy you're with to want to be her daddy? It's amazing that you're finding a guy that wants to be around your kid let alone wants to be that close to her!

If you aren't serious about him, don't bring him around. I'm only assuming it's something you want to be serious if they've met your daughter.

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