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Totally and utterly fustraited

Nichole - posted on 07/18/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Ok I am soooo sick of doing this by myself!! my daughters dad is in the pic when it is convienent for him My sons dad doesn't even know about him and it WILL stay that way. All the guys I date have jobs when we first get together and say they want to take care of us then soon after i think it is safe to give my heart they quit there job and I am stuck with the whole kit and caboodle all over again. I just want someone to treat me and my kids well and to hold a JOB or atleast look for one when they loose theirs. it seems like everyone i know has the picture purfect life and i keep wondering when it will be my turn. I love my kids and want so much better for them. I am almost thirty years old and keep getting stuck with loosers. sorry I just had to vent this is really starting to get me down.

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2 Comments

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Brandy - posted on 07/24/2009

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I do understand how you feel. I felt the same way for a long time and still feel that way at times. Just remember that the people you know that seem to have the picture perfect life feel the same way you do at times. I'm sure you've already realized that just because something seems great to others doesn't mean it is. You'd be suprised at how many people probably look at your life and wish theirs was more like yours...I know that may sound silly but it's true. Focus on what you want to do with your life for you and your kids. Don't be willing to give your heart to anyone but your kids easily, make them work harder for that than anything they have before. Also make sure that the ground rules are set...let them know from the start that you're not looking for a father for your children or a "free ride" as too many people put it and that you won't put up with them looking for one either. If you ever need to vent feel free to message me anytime, it's hard but you can do it. You already know you can you just have to prove it to yourself (isn't it odd how we have to do that?) Too many guys out there have misconceptions about single mothers which makes it that much harder for us at times.

Nicole - posted on 07/24/2009

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When my son was born, I had the same problem. His father only wanted to be dad when he could show off for someone. After the first few months I shot his idea of that down and told him he could be in his life if he could be there full time. Otherwise if the idea of being a full time dad was too hard he had to stop coming around. He chose to stop coming around. Fortunately for me I have lots of family around who help me with my son and to show him how to be a real man. But in the end I'm still a single mom.



It's hard at times and I get lonely every now and then, but for now I'm happy concentrating on just my son. I don't plan on being single forever but I think it's important to be able to be self-sufficient on your own. Be content with your own company before you look for a relationship. Doing that will also show your kids that they don't have to rely on a partner to be successful in life. And that confidence will attract better men, men that will take care you and your kids because they want to not because they have to.

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