Visitation

Rosa - posted on 04/28/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have a question. I have a 6 year old son who will be turning 7 in just a few months. My problem that i am having is that my son does not want to speak to his father or see him. I moved from california back to chicago because i and the father just did not get along. His father wanted to be involved with his friends then be involved with his family. I left with my son before my son turned 2 years of age. My son does not know his father at all. They have spoken on the phone many times but as my son gets older is has gotten to be worse. My son does not want to speak with him at all. His dad has said somethings to him that were inappropriate such as name calling and that is when the communication stopped with my son. I don't feel that i can force my son to speak with him if he chooses not to do so. However his father tells me that i should make him get on the phone and speak to him. What do i do? His father has not seen him in 5 years.

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8 Comments

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Mel - posted on 05/05/2010

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I allow my now 3 and a half year old daughter to choose herself whether or not she wants to see her dad. He has had minimal contact with her since she was born, and expects her to go and see him willingly. Needed some effort on his part alot earlier. I think the child has the rights over the dad.

Kimberly - posted on 05/02/2010

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see if you can get both of them into therapy together. This way they can discuss there problems with eachother in a maintained environment and get everything out into the open. If you somehow don't address this. It will probably affect him in other directions as he gets older, especially school and with friends.

Crystal - posted on 05/02/2010

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Let your son decide or not. I have a 9 yr old daughter and her father only comes around when it's convenient for himself so the majority she could care less to talk to him. A child knows right from wrong and can also sense the good in someone, so unless he was to meet with you and your son personally and apologize to him, I would just let it be. He should be the bigger man and do something to fix the situation between him and his son on order to have a better relationship in the future.

Tiffany - posted on 04/30/2010

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same thing with my son he never talks to him or asks about him and he's about to be 3 he doesn't even say dada or daddy or anything because he doesn't have anyone to say it to. it just worries me when he gets older what will happen because his DONOR is a deuche so idk how to explain that he only wants to be there for my son when its convient for him and not because he loves him unconditionally like my family does

Kristy - posted on 04/29/2010

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I wouldn't force the issue cause all that's going to do is make your son angry with you. When my 2 yr. old's father would call, she wouldn't want to talk to him most of the time, then he would get mad at me, curse me out and then it was a big fight over the phone. Well, my parents (they pay my cellphone bill) blocked his number on my cell phone. My daughter hasn't one time asked for her daddy. She doesn't hardly know him. So, let your son make the choice.

Rosa - posted on 04/29/2010

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Well his father says he wants to come but never seems to have the money to fly out and see him. My son has never asked about his father and when i bring it up to my son about talking to him all he tells me is that he does not want to speak with him.

Tiffany - posted on 04/29/2010

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im pretty much in the same situation the only difference is my son is only two and when he get son the phone with his dad he says nothing and puts the phone dad when and if his dad even decides to call but i feel like if your son doesn't want to talk to his dad then don't force him to do so. it's a decision that's hes had to make and he made it, especially if his dad disrespected him with name callin, there definitley would be no further need for communication. has he even tried to come and visit you son in the last 5 years?

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i think u should let your son choose if he dont wanna dont let him if the dad really wants to he will go to court for him

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