Lauren - posted on 05/19/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )
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I got this off of Cafemom from one of the users....
What a Single Mom Knows . . .
The terror and elation of a positive pregnancy test…
The anguish over the decisions that are made about that pregnancy…
How feeling the baby move is joyous and lonely at the same time…
How frightening and yet empowering it is like to decorate a nursery, pick out names, go to baby showers…all alone.
The fear of raising a child by yourself. Especially if you have never done it before and have no idea what to expect. Especially if you have already been doing it and know exactly what is involved.
What it is like to labor, deliver, recover and take a new baby home, alone. And how that is depressing and strengthening at the same time.
What it means to skip a meal so your children can eat…
How devastating it is when the child support check bounces and you have to pay NSF charges on 6 other checks…
Or the panic when that check just doesn’t come….
What it is like to fill out all those forms required for childhood and leave “Father’s information:” blank…
How it feels to get a Father’s Day gift from your child because there is no one else to give it to…
And how much more the Mother’s Day cards and crayon pictures mean. (there won’t be any store-bought gifts because there is no money and no one to take them shopping for one anyway.)
How great it is to have a “family portrait” taken and finally realize that you ARE a family. Period.
The tears you feel after working 60 or 70 hours in a week and realizing there are no clean socks or towels and you need to do laundry at 11pm on Sunday night…
The irritation you feel when you read ONE MORE magazine article suggesting that you get your husband to help out more around the house when you need a break or feeling stressed…
What it takes to swallow your anger and hurt when your child asks, “Where’s my daddy?” so that you don’t say something that would hurt your little one…
Where all the “free” fun is!!!
What it means to look in the mirror and see yourself too tired to even smile but still fulfilled…
How proud we feel when WE fix the toilet/sink/lawnmower/washer/whatever ourselves…
The guilt we carry because we know that our children DO miss out on certain things…
Why those coupons in the Sunday paper are GOLD!
How to soothe the ego of a child who has to say they have no birthday/Christmas/whatever gift for you and how to really convince them that THEY are the best gift of all…
The pain of comparing ourselves to happily married moms who “seem” to have it all together…
How to explain to your 6 year old why you can’t take a day off to help with her class field trip because your boss said no…or because you just can’t sacrifice the time off in case of illness or another emergency.
What it’s like to beg for second-hand legal info that you hope is at least partially correct because you can’t afford a lawyer even though HE has one that costs $250/hour…
The sheer joy (and, yeah, guilt!) of a kid-free afternoon/day/weekend…
What it is like to be faced with choosing between food and a much needed trip to the pediatrician…
Why that old Army recruiting commercial about how they “get more done before 9am than most people do all day” is so funny to us. I mean, please. Let’s see that soldier do that while balancing a fussy toddler on one hip, a 40-pound diaper bag on the other arm, a purse and at least one other child holding the other hand. While answering rapid-fire questions a mile a minute. And don’t forget to SMILE.
The pride of realizing that your children are going to grow up watching a strong capable woman take care of herself and her family and the example you are setting for them. You are not perfect but you are doing the right thing by raising them yourself.
The freedom you feel when you finally stop apologizing for being single and accept that your situation is just what it is. It is not a disease that needs to be cured. It is the choice that you made and don’t need to answer to anyone else for it. You are not a “fixer-upper”. You and your family are complete in their current state
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