Nana - posted on 06/14/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
I've been married for 8years and have 2 lovely boys. Their dad (~my husband) just got up one day and decided to go to africa. I tried talking him out of it but he had already decided. He's been gone a few months short of 3yrs. the boys were
3 1/2 and 2 when he left. My problem is he does not remit us and does not contact us either. Anytime i contacted him, we ended up fighting so i stopped. I'm now by myself with no help from anybody, not even his family. I know my marriage is as good as dead cos we don't talk about anything, i mean we can't discuss the boys, we can't talk about the marriage, we can't talk about the future, nothing. I made a mistake of asking him a few days ago what plans he had for the family and all hell broke loose. The marriage is as good as dead but now it's the boys i feel for. They have not seen him for 2yrs and 9mths.
My 6yr old does not like going to church on fathers' day because he always says 'but daddy is not here'. I really feel for them and wish there is something i could do to make things better for all of us. I had to stop work cos there was nobody to sleep with them and take them to sch in the mornings when i'm at work. Because of this, i don't even have the money to buy them what they ask for during their birthdays and at christmas. I feel so terrible when they ask for something and i'm not able to give them.
I'm also not able to talk to anybody about the way things are going cos i feel they will end up blaming me. I always put on a brave face when i'm with the boys and also when i'm with friends but i'm the only one who knows how bad things are. Sometimes i feel like giving up but when i look at my little angels, i can't help but to carry on.
What am i supposed to do? Is anybody in the same situation? Please help me, i need your advice.