Who's last name if the father isnt around?

Devin - posted on 04/06/2010

My daughter has my last name....

Rebecca - posted on 04/06/2010

I am a single mom of twins and they have my last name. their dad did not earn the privilege of having my children named after him!

Jen - posted on 04/06/2010

Yes i totally agree with Nicole because my daughter and son have different dads and my sons dad is never around...and my daughters dad decides one time he wants to be around and the next he doesn't and gets mad over little and dumb things and was not around during my pregnancy inf act he said i cheated on him..

Nicole - posted on 04/06/2010

well my daughters dad wasnt around at all during my pregnancy and still isnt around so i gave her mine cuz he doesnt deserve for her to have his

Jen - posted on 04/06/2010

my two kids have my last name and their dad's pay child support or are supposed to..and neither of their dads are involved in their lives

Terri - posted on 04/06/2010

When I had my son me and his father were married at the time and I had taken his name so in turn my son has that last name as well. Now we are divorced, but I have chosen to keep my ex's name and let my son keep it as well. It just seemed easier at the time and I don't have any real regrets about it. I didn't change my name back because I wanted my son to have the same last name as me, now if I were to get remarried it may be an issue, but that can be dealt with when and if the time comes. Also I didn't mind because the last name I grew up using was not even a relation to me it was actually my sister's father's last name (complicated!)

Gianinna - posted on 04/06/2010

Thanks for sharing Jennifer and clearing things up. I always thought that if the father wasnt listen on the birth certificate and doesnt carry his last name that they automatically didnt have any rights to it.

Jennifer - posted on 04/06/2010

I have a similar situation. My daughter's father bailed when I was 3 weeks pregnant because I refused to have an abortion. She has my last name. He is not listed on the birth certificate. We are in the middle of custody and child support stuff right now. We've done DNA, so there was no affidavit. I'm getting sole custody with supervised visitation for dad if/when he ever wants them (as of now, he still wants nothing to do with her), but it's also required I have her birth certificate redone so his name is on it, but no need to change her last name. You can even make up a last name for your kid. I know several friends who have made up a last name for their kids and combined parts of both parents last names to make a new one. You can do what you want. As far as not having his name on the b.c. meaning he has no rights/visitations. That's not true. It doesn't mean he doesn't have rights. As a biological parent, he still has rights. He would just have to prove he's the parent, by DNA. From the sounds of it, he doesn't want to pay for a lawyer to go through that.

Candy - posted on 04/06/2010

I gave my daughter my last name because like so many on here her fater wasn't around involved and didn't want to be. She is 6 and loves the fact that we have the same last name. Besides that she is my daughter, I am the one ther for her 24/7 and yes it took two to make her, but I am the raising her. She knows about her father ad knows he has a different last name- I would never keep that from her.

Amanda - posted on 04/06/2010

My daughters father is not around and i gave her my last name. If the father is not around he should not get the right to have the child have his last name. to me its a gift for your kids to carry on the family name, and the a hole that isnt around should not be able to enjoy that gift!

Amy - posted on 04/06/2010

My son has my last name. For me, his father left me when I told him I was pregnant. He made his choice then. I chose to have my son have my name and that was that. He is MY son.

Ronda - posted on 04/06/2010

i got my daughters hyphenated as well but that was only because things were rocky when i had her and was unsure if we would stay together or not so i made it kind of an equal deal. In my opinion if we wouldn't have stayed together from the get go and he didn't want anything to do with me or her I would definately have only given her my last name. I guess it just depends on whether he WANTS to be there...not that he isn't or cant.

Coleen - posted on 04/06/2010

My baby's dad was in prison when I had him and I wasn't sure if he was going to go back to the life of drugs when he got out....so I gave my son my last name. Since his father is doing a lot better and we are engaged now, his son will get his last name when we are married. But it was easier for me to just give in my last name, especially because I wasn't sure if he was going to be in his life or not.

Tara - posted on 04/06/2010

I gave my daughter my last name and his last name. hypenated as one! whether or not the father is around,it is every childs right to have the last name of their father so why not have both last names?

Sue - posted on 04/06/2010

If you and the father of your child are not married the father has to be present at the registration of birth for them to give consent that the child has his surname. If this isnt possible then the child has to take on the mothers surname.

Katie - posted on 04/06/2010

My son's father hasn't been anywhere near him since the day I told him I was pregnant, so I decided that my son would have my last name.

Lorraine - posted on 04/05/2010

was wondering how do you go about changing ur kids last name as i am wanting to change my daughters

Elisa - posted on 04/04/2010

my lil girl has my last name. I dont wish for her to have her father's last name cause he's a dead beat father and his whole family didnt even call,congratulate or sent anything since she was born. So I dont see the reason why she should carry the same last name of their DISFUNCTIONAL family.

Brooke - posted on 04/04/2010

my babies father an i arent together but i decided to give my son both our last names an he has his dads middle name an i chose his firt so i think its pretty even so when he is old enough he can keep it or choose which name he wants... so my sons name is Zeke Geoffrey Laguna-Terry

Elizabeth - posted on 04/03/2010

I have a nine year-old son, and I really wanted to give him my last name. However, in Texas, if the father pays child support then he has the right to ask the court to change the child's last name to his last name. I gave my son his father's last name, because he made me feel guilty about it telling me that giving my son his name was the right thing to do. Whatever you do, don't let anybody make you feel guilty about your decision. You're the one who is going to raise your baby....do what you want. I am called Mrs. (my son's last name) all the time, and it really frustrates me seeing as how his dad told me that I was not good enough to marry! He got his way in court so I added my last name to his name as well. I did not hyphenate it, because I didn't want him to have a really long last name, but it's in there. It was important for me to include my last name so he never felt "different". My daughter is twenty-two months, and she does have my last name. I wish you the best, and I hope that your decision works out for both you and your little one.

Genoveva - posted on 04/03/2010

you're right supora, in my case i chose not to marry the father of my son therefore i gave him my last name, but the problem is the hospital where i gave birth didn't put my middle name in my daughter's birth certificate, that's why i am having questions in my mind, maybe my son will ask me why he didn't have a middle name when he grow-up, as of now, i am planning to go to the civil registry to ask things about it...

Mae - posted on 04/02/2010

the child should have your last name if he is not there, does not want to be there why impose that name on the child.

Heather - posted on 04/02/2010

i hear you i have i 12 year old boy with a sperm doner too.

Lisa - posted on 04/02/2010

I call him the sperm donor because he ran away. I didn't want him to leave, but for his own reasons he left. Therefore he's nothing more than a "sperm donor" He's not a Dad, Father, anything related to that. My son knows him, and my son has his own opinions, remember my son is 12, almost 13 he's not a baby anymore. I've never sugar coated anything, nor have I said bad things, but as they say "Actions speak louder than words" You only get so many chances in life, and my son's "Father" used up all his. My son would never change his name, he is not a part of that family.

Heather - posted on 04/02/2010

yours why give your child the fathers name if all he was was a sperm doner. if later on he decided to be a dad he can pay to have it changed

Lisa - posted on 04/02/2010

BTW after reading other's posts. The "Sperm Donor's" name isn't even on the Birth Certificate. I still to this day feel, if he's that much of a jerk to run away, then why give him any credit.

Lisa - posted on 04/02/2010

My son is 12 he has my last name his "Father" hasn't been around since day one, he doesn't deserve for my son to have his last name. I made it very clear when I was in the hospital to the nurses. My son's seen his father a total of 7 days of his life. I just don't think they deserve the recognition. :)

Juliet - posted on 04/02/2010

My son has my last name. He has his dads name on his birth certificate but I changed it by deed poll as it was very awkward having two surnames when we went on holiday to drs etc. Dad wasnt very happy but then we hadnt been together since I told him I was pregnant. Although know we get on very well and are friends. Which is good for all of us.

Lashun - posted on 04/01/2010

It will defintely be yours!!!!

Samantha - posted on 04/01/2010

i gave my daughter my last name cuz her father has don nothing litterally not even talked to me since i told him in june 2009 bout her

Nadine - posted on 04/01/2010

i have 5 children to my ex husband. he was not around for my youngest. he hasnt even signed the birth certificate. i had to chase him to have dna done to prove that he was his father and for him to pay child support. i regret giving him his fathers surname. who loves him and does everything for you. i do. i want to change his name to my maiden name as i dont want my ex's name either. neither does my daughter. my youngest feels no connection to his father or his fathers family but he has a strong connection to me and my family. i now want his surname to reflect that.

Gloria - posted on 04/01/2010

The way I see it, you don't have his last name so why should your child. My daughter has my last name, the court asked to change it after she was born and I said no.

Tanya - posted on 04/01/2010

It all depends on the circumstances. In my case it was me who left my daughters dad when I was 1 month pregnant. Mind you the terms were not bad. So I decided prior to giving birth that if it was a girl she would take my surname and if it was a boy he would take his father's. Now if it was the dad's choice to leave then even if I had a son he would of had my last name.

Jessica - posted on 04/01/2010

If the father is 100% absent, your last name...and if he's somewhat involved maybe both last names..depending on what the situation you have with the childs father.

Tamara - posted on 04/01/2010

i would give my child my last name if the father isnt around and/or doesnt want anything to do with my child why should he have the priviledge of my child having him last name when he cant even step up and be the man/father my child will need him to be its hard for a child to carry on a name when they truely dont know what the name stands for mayb one day if my childs father came back into my childs life and decides to be the father that he needs then if my child if old enough i would discuss the choice with my child and let them make the decision on whether to change his last name to his fathers

Gene - posted on 04/01/2010

the fathers last name should be the one.I have a son and I am doing most of the work myself.yes I am divorced BUT what you should also think of to is what is going to happen years down the road when your child gets older and asks where there father/dad is.Or who is he?What are you going to tell your child,that you dont want your child to know what there father/dad is like?If you dont tell your child they will go out looking for there father/dad when they get even older when you get old.Let the child find out for themself what kind of a dad they have.If you dont YOU may or may not regret it when they get older.Your child has the right to have the fathers last name.I have a ex step daughter,she has her dad's last name.As she was growing up he wasnt around much.It's the same with our son.

Jacki - posted on 03/31/2010

When my son is born I gave him the typical latino last name with both of ours. When he was six weeks old and he father was not making any effort I changed it to just mine. I am so happy I did!

Monica - posted on 03/31/2010

yes i would.. ii still gacve it to my daughter... i didnt make her on my own...

Lisa - posted on 03/30/2010

We are from Canada and we cannot put the fathers name on the birth certificate unless they are there to sign it....and I would not put his name on there anyways because if you want to marry some day it is alot easier for them to adopt them

Lisa - posted on 03/30/2010

We are from Canada and we cannot put the fathers name on the birth certificate unless they are there to sign it....and I would not put his name on there anyways because if you want to marry some day it is alot easier for them to adopt them

Tiffany - posted on 03/29/2010

You're right, it doesn't mean you are trying to hide who their father is by not giving them the fathers last name. I just stated I don't want them to think I did. In my specific situation, my kids' father tries to reverse things and I would not put it past him to try and make it to seem like I kept the kids from him instead of the truth that he isn't around by his own choice. And as I also said, it is really a personal choice and you should look at the facts with your specific situation and what you feel comfortable doing. In my situation I feel it was right to give my kids their father's last name. It will be different for everyone.

Kayla - posted on 03/29/2010

But just because you dont give your child their fathers last name doesnt mean your tring to hide who their father is. Or letting him be in their lives. I believe that they should know who he is...but at that point its a two way street. Why hurt them if he doesnt even wanna actknowdgle them? I feel good about giving her my last name and not his!

Tiffany - posted on 03/29/2010

I was reading some other replies and wanted to clear some things up. My sons are 4 and 2 1/2 and I have had 0 problems with taking them to the dr because they have a dif last name than me. Also, I am in AZ and with my second child, the father was not there to sign the birth certificate, but I was still able to give him his dad's last name. As I said, even though the father is not a part of their lives, I owe it to my children to let them know who their father is.

Tiffany - posted on 03/29/2010

I gave both of my son's their father's last name. I want my children to know at least who their father is and I don't want them to grow up and think I tried to keep their father away or hide from them who he is. It's a personal choice really.

Rebecca - posted on 03/29/2010

Give them your last name because if they still aren't around after you have the baby you will regret it. The father doesnt deserve to have a baby with his last name if he isn't there for you through the hard part~

Kayla - posted on 03/29/2010

I gave my daughter my last name because itll b easier in the long run and she'll always know Im here for her even if she never meets her father. Shes my family and shell always know that. I say go with your last name!

Kristen - posted on 03/29/2010

It will affect the child in a positive way, when it comes to school and medical if y'all have the same last name it will be much easier than if it was diff. that is one reason I chose to give my son my last name. Plus why tie your child to someone who will never be there.

Abigael - posted on 03/28/2010

I have a 51/2 year old by the time he was being born we were not in good terms with the father,i did not think twice but gave him my fathers name.If i gave him his fathers name it would complicate things trying to explain later about his name and i know it will never work between me and the father?why give your chid strange names?breaking up there was a reason and you might just give your child bad blood by giving him/her there name.After all your the mommy and the daddy so where does he come in?

Mary - posted on 03/28/2010

In my state, unless the father signed something stating he was the father, you can't put even put him on the birth certificate. On that same note, if he opts to later try and prove paternity, he can ask in court for the last name to be changed or added if you use yours. I used my last name as he opted not to be there or acknowledge paternity to date.

Amy - posted on 03/27/2010

My ex-husband left us when my son was only 10 months old. when we were finalizing the divorce i had my sons last name changed to be mine & his fathers. It was just Irvin. It is Cox-Irvin. I did this because i was going back to my maiden name and I wanted my son to have my name too. Most of the time my son only uses my name,but leagally it is the hyphonated name. My son is 11 now and he likes having both of our names. Also, it has only been a little over a year now that my Ex has had anything to do with my son. The new girlfriend has pushed for the ex to be a part of my sons life. My son has figured this out. It is sad, but my son is willing to try.