Who's last name if the father isnt around?

Ebony - posted on 03/23/2010

That was an issue i battled with as well...The father wasnt around much but we still kinda kept in contact...I was thinking maybe Hyphenate the two names....But i think it all depends on how YOU as a mother feel. I ended up giving my son my last name for two reasons...one I was the one who did all the work all the way up until delivery...and two..he brought his fiance to my labor!!! lol

APRIL - posted on 03/22/2010

MY LAST NAME WHY GIVE HIM THAT HONOR IF HE DOESNT DESERVE IT

Kathleen - posted on 03/22/2010

I gave my son my last name but sometimes if you go to court for support the dad can request a name change (at least where I live). I changed my sons name but hypened it. But like Supora Pinkey is so right it is a privlage and I would keep only your name as long as you can. Good luck.

Gianinna - posted on 03/22/2010

thank you girls for all the advise. im not to sure if he will be there because he said he wouldnt when i refused to have an abortion but then again he said he would be there when i ended up taking him to court. at the end if he decides to be there or not i really think i will end up giving the baby my last name after all. as to him being in the birth certificate...im not sure if i would even add him to the birth certificate...

Nikki - posted on 03/22/2010

My situation is different with my son as when he arrived his father and I decided to get married to raise him together and for him to have his fathers last name however he abandoned us when my son was eight months old. My son is three now and I am still married cause I cannot afford a attorney to get a divorce. his father moved to Texas years ago so I too have often thought of giving my son my last name with a hyphen then his fathers name as he is who he is but again my situation is different yet since his father wants nothing to do with him and I am his Mom and Dad I feel I should have my name on him too !! :) God Bless ...

Julie - posted on 03/22/2010

Your last name hunny! I was 19 when I had my first son, and the father was a complete lunitic, and drug addicted bum. Why I ended up with him, I don't know, but I got a great gift out of it! After I had Logan, I looked at his face and made up my mind. He's too important for that. I gave him my maiden name, and didnt put him on the birth cert. Your case may be diff. If he's a decent man, and will be a good dad, put the child in his last name and on the birth cert. or he wont have to pay child support. You can still get child support and also full custody if hes no good. good luck with whatever you decide. I am here if you need to talk...

Erica - posted on 03/22/2010

I gave my son my last name for all these same reasons every1s saying and I'm glad he has my family's last name but theres a question about what happens when I get married then he won't have my last name or his fathers. I'm thinking I'll probably have to hyphenate. Just something to think about...

Gianinna - posted on 03/22/2010

ive been asking around, is it true that if you dont give the baby the fathers last name the father automatically has no rights to the baby? we broke up few days before christmas and he knows im pregnant and he was aiming for abortion but got mad when i refused to have one. thats when he said he didnt want anything to do with me or the baby. we ended up going to court because i tried to put a restraining order on him because him and his mother were both threatning me but since he hadnt physically hurt me they denied the restraining order. at court he said he was going to be there for the baby and i made it clear to him and the judge i wanted nothing to do with him or his family. thats why im considering giving my baby my last name and not his.

Megan - posted on 03/22/2010

I used mine. He still has to pay child support & if he comes around later on & tries to drag you into court for custody (b/c he doesn't want to pay), it's right there in front of the court that he wasn't even around when you named the baby.

Gianinna - posted on 03/22/2010

you all have made very good points and i thank you girls for taking the time to respond to my post. it is something i am considering but just wanted to see whateveryone els thought. Will have to wait till August 26,2010. My due date! :)

Sherry - posted on 03/21/2010

I WOULD GIVE THE CHILD MY LAST NAME ,THEN LET HIM DECIDE IF HES GOING TO BE INVOLVED,IF NOT YOU SAVED YOURSELF A TON OF UNWANTED QS?

Amanda - posted on 03/21/2010

My son's father was (kind of) around when he was born, but I still gave my son my last name. I told his dad that if we decided to change it, we had a year to change it and it would be free. He never pressed it, never cared and I'm glad that I did that. My son lives with me, we should have the same name.

Jeanna - posted on 03/21/2010

an affidavit of parentage. It is essentialy them acknowledging they are the father with out having to do a dna test.

Brittany - posted on 03/21/2010

Yours....With your last name they've at least one parent saying I love u enough to share my name & have you in my life (in the family)

Gianinna - posted on 03/21/2010

what would the affidavit be for?

Beth - posted on 03/20/2010

oh I so gave my daughter my last name!!! giving the baby theres gives them right and visitation... I also think that the father has to sign an affidavit if ur not married!! think really hard bout this its very important for the future of the child!

Jeanna - posted on 03/20/2010

I am a former teacher. I gave my DD my last name. He wasn't around for 9 months while I was pregnant. He has not been around for the 19 almost 20 months since she got here. It took 18 months to start getting child support. I did not want to go through my life being called Mrs. So and so. At the dr and school and other places. My daughter is also biracial as well, so I already get the are you Mom? question. It is annoying as hell. No it will not affect the kiddo that much later in life. Tell them about their dad and do what you can.

I intend to tell my dd about her dad. I will not down talk him. I will give him opportunity to see her if he ever wants to. He will make his own bed and have to lie in when she wants nothing to do with him. They screw themselves on their own, we really don't have to do it for them.

Gianinna - posted on 03/20/2010

i wsa thinking of giving the baby my last name. dont know if it will affect him/her in the future though

Alison - posted on 03/20/2010

When my son was born I decided give my last name because we weren't together and he was mad but it was my choice not his.

Katlynn - posted on 03/20/2010

I gave my daughter my last name, and there are many reasonings for it, its way easyer dealing with medical issues, schooling, and travel, and why should your child have the last name of a dead beat low life that isnt around when youa re doing all the work YOU DESERVE ALL THE CREDIT!!! If he cant be there he doesnt deserve to have somthign so precious named after him

Jennifer - posted on 03/20/2010

Supora has a point. if the father isnt around then your child should have your last name. if things change down the road you can change it, or just keep it that way. using his last name would be a privelage. hes not around to be their for his child, then the baby shouldnt have a last name of the person he/she doesnt know.

Kekua - posted on 03/19/2010

my thinking: last name = surname = family name. who's his family? YOU!!! =)

Supora - posted on 03/19/2010

my thing is if hes not gonna be around then i dont want her trying to figure out who is this strangers name that shes holding on to! it just lets her know that shes apart of me and im not going anywhere

Gianinna - posted on 03/19/2010

True, you have a point on that one. Do you think by putting your last name it will affect it in any way?

Supora - posted on 03/19/2010

Yours! I think to have their last name is a privelage! you are doing all the work, therefore you are mommy and daddy.. im in the process of changing my daughters last name right now