why do fathers want to be fathers when they want

Ronnettea - posted on 06/24/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Cause my kids father want to be dad when he has time im mom and dad 24 hours a day

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John - posted on 06/30/2009

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"BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE TO IF THEY DONT WANT TO!! HAVENT YU HEARD THE SAYING MAMAS BABY DADDYS MAYBE, ITS SO TRUE , ITS YOURE BABY YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO YOUR CHILD AND HE IS NOT!! HE CAN WALK AWAY FROM THE FACT OF BEING A FATHER BUT YOU CARRIED THE CHILD IN WOMB YOU CANT DENY BEING THE MOTHER. ITS STUPID BUT SOME MEN ARE JUST THAT STUPID!!"



Wow!! That is absolutely the most rediculous thing I have ever read in my life. My ex decided one day that she didn't feel like being a mother, so she left. It wasn't a problem between her and I. She couldn't handle being a parent. She wanted time for herself, to do her own thing. So to hear someone say that only a man could do that because women are emothionally connected to their babies makes me laugh a little. I am a full time parent. In my spare time I work for a living to support my kids. You would have to drag me away dead to get me to leave my kids. Not all men are useless. You all found uses for us at some point, or you wouldn't be here. Some people are just not designed to be parents. Bad mouthing them won't make it go away. As parents our job is to give our children the best possible futures they can achieve. The mental instability of an ex should never become a concern unless they are around the kids. If one parent doesn't want to be a parent then it is up to the other parent to pick up the slack. That's it. It might not be fun, but it's our life.

Stacie - posted on 06/24/2009

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I haven't even had my baby yet and know that my baby's dad is only going to be around when it is convenient for him. He already is. He is going to be Dad on a few weekends while I do all the hard work all week long...What he doesn't realize is he is going to have to fight for every minute of his time.

Jessica - posted on 06/24/2009

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i am going threw the same thing and some how wound up with two of them. mine likes to be a dad for birthday parties and holidays. they do this because there selfish, and they dont understand what there missing. to me it gets hard cause sometimes i get angry at the fact that have to be mom and dad 24 hours a day. but when i realize that i get to see them do everything it brightens up my day. there the ones missing out and our children will realize this in the long run. they will understand that we have been the only constant person in tere lives that love them no mater what. the good thing is we can raise our children our way with no one else to have a different oponion!

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Rebecca - posted on 07/02/2009

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totally! not all men are like that there are (SOME) who lack the responsibility of growing up and doing what they should be doing with there kids... but instead they want to go off and be a little boy with his friends ... i have exsperieced this as well married 14 yrs and with 3 kids now teens but still i am mom and dad.... yeah i have a boy friend but he isnt the one to care for the kids but he is there friend... untill the dad grows up u might as well take this on your own we as single moms AND single DADS can do this ... we have the strenght and the power to do good for our kids... they will see the real side of the other parent and make up there own mind ... what they think of him or her later down the road.... keep ur chin up u can do this.. and u arent alone... and selfishnish has a lot to play in it as well for some of them moms and dads who dont care about there kid or kids who up and left them with out an exsplanation that shows a person how imature they actually are.

Arin - posted on 07/02/2009

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I would just like to say (as a soon to be mother and with an ex that will only be around when convenient for him) that I appreciate men and fathers like John...and just wish there were more of you out there. It is terribly sad that ANY parent (male or female) would be so selfish to just walk away...but sadly most of them think, "out of sight, out of mind." Though the "father" of my child is one of those selfish individuals, I have several males/fathers in my life like John, that I will raise my daughter around in hopes that she will have positive male figures in her life. I admit I am a little bitter because of my situation, but I KNOW that my daughter will be just fine...and I will be a better father than my ex ever will be. I have cried many tears over his absence and lack of compassion, but we all have to do what we have to for our children. All in all, thanks for being one of the "good guys" John...best of luck to you. And to all the deadbeat moms and dads...they will never know what day to day miracles they will be missing, and they will have to live with that forever.

Arin - posted on 07/02/2009

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Quoting John:

"BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE TO IF THEY DONT WANT TO!! HAVENT YU HEARD THE SAYING MAMAS BABY DADDYS MAYBE, ITS SO TRUE , ITS YOURE BABY YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO YOUR CHILD AND HE IS NOT!! HE CAN WALK AWAY FROM THE FACT OF BEING A FATHER BUT YOU CARRIED THE CHILD IN WOMB YOU CANT DENY BEING THE MOTHER. ITS STUPID BUT SOME MEN ARE JUST THAT STUPID!!"

Wow!! That is absolutely the most rediculous thing I have ever read in my life. My ex decided one day that she didn't feel like being a mother, so she left. It wasn't a problem between her and I. She couldn't handle being a parent. She wanted time for herself, to do her own thing. So to hear someone say that only a man could do that because women are emothionally connected to their babies makes me laugh a little. I am a full time parent. In my spare time I work for a living to support my kids. You would have to drag me away dead to get me to leave my kids. Not all men are useless. You all found uses for us at some point, or you wouldn't be here. Some people are just not designed to be parents. Bad mouthing them won't make it go away. As parents our job is to give our children the best possible futures they can achieve. The mental instability of an ex should never become a concern unless they are around the kids. If one parent doesn't want to be a parent then it is up to the other parent to pick up the slack. That's it. It might not be fun, but it's our life.


 

Danielle George - posted on 07/01/2009

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I completely agree! I am mommy and daddy right now in my daughter's life, but even before he couldn't see her anymore he was a father of convenience! He always would say that he would never have anymore children because he just wanted to focus all of his attention and love on our daughter. He ended up loving money more then anything and that landed him where he is now. He would have supervised visitation with her for two hours a day twice a week at my home he would fall asleep, spend most of his time on the phone, or be in the bathroom most of the time. He thought that by buying her presents that would make up for everything. She is 3 and hasn't seen him for about 7-8 months and she never asks for him....Wonder why! He is not a daddy he is a father.....HUGE difference!

Tiffany - posted on 06/30/2009

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my childs father thinks that since custody is in place that even though he wont get a job he can still have the benefit of seeing her without helping financially

Sheryl - posted on 06/30/2009

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Its ruff at times being the mom and dad, but in the end the child or children r going to look up \to each and every 1 of us, and no we have done our best to raise them to be responsibl, loving and caring people and look back at us as examples

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Shelby - posted on 06/30/2009

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i agree with all you! i am the only parent figure my daughter knows besides her grandma and grandpa!

Natasha - posted on 06/30/2009

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BECAUSE THEY DONT HAVE TO IF THEY DONT WANT TO!! HAVENT YU HEARD THE SAYING MAMAS BABY DADDYS MAYBE, ITS SO TRUE , ITS YOURE BABY YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO YOUR CHILD AND HE IS NOT!! HE CAN WALK AWAY FROM THE FACT OF BEING A FATHER BUT YOU CARRIED THE CHILD IN WOMB YOU CANT DENY BEING THE MOTHER. ITS STUPID BUT SOME MEN ARE JUST THAT STUPID!!

Lisa - posted on 06/25/2009

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me i stay home 24/7 then when my son is sick i am the one in the hosp and husb is with friends. i think the dads shold fucking grow up we did not make the kids by are self so help us

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