Worst DBD EVER

Alison - posted on 09/14/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

Hi ladies! I really really really need some advice, so i'm going to explain my situation in as little detail as possible so it won't be so long. I have a daughter who is 3 years old. Her dad and I were together until she was 2 months old (i broke up with him bcuz he has a drug and alcohol addiction and was physically abusive to me and kicked my daughters car seat while she was in it when she was 2 months old..that was the breaking point for me) anyway...so he has no car or license bcuz he lost it due to criminal activity (convicted felon) and he will probably never have it..has only had a couple jobs his whole live that he never keeps longer than a few months..has only paid child support twice. he stopped seeing my daughter on his own when she was about 10 months old. his family hasn't seen her since she was 2 months old. since she was 10 months there was no contact or visitation between him and my daughter..so basically almost 2.5 years go by..out of nowhere a few months ago he takes me to mediation 2 different times bcuz he didnt get his way...long story short he was given a 2 month time span to visit her 4 times (2 hrs each time). well the 2 months are up..and he only saw her 1 time. and never even really bonded with her. she was very confused, kept calling him uncle and some other name besides his actual name. when she kept calling him that i decided the next sday that i would tell her that he was her dad. she responded with "i don't want to call him that" and i said that was completely fine. well she has it in her head that her grandpa is her dad and shes even been calling me daddy sometimes in public in front of other kids. this poor girl could not be more confused and really needs a steady father figure in her life right now. it has now been a month and a half since that one visit...which she doesnt even remember and he was supposed to call her to keep up the relationship and never has once...so now my dilemma is...if he decides that he wants to see her again and contacts me to do so...i dont want him to! if we ever went to court or something i dont want a judge to see me as being manipulative or something by saying no...but my momma instincts are to protect my innocent childs feelings and it is not right for this stranger to be allowed to pop back in after 2.5 years of nothing and then only see her one time and let months go by...i refuse to let my daughter hurt that way. i need some input!!! Do I say no and wait for him to take me to court (which is 50/50...he might take me to court because he has a 40 year old gf (hes 25) and she was the one that forced him to get back into my daughters life (thats hear say tho) and he might not either..bcuz i know that he doesnt care about her very much...when he saw her that one time he didn't konw how to spell her name and didnt know when her birthday was. i'm sorry, but little things like that is ridiculous..his brain is fried from drugs and hes still a bad addict but cannot prove that anyway..i'm just scared that if we did end up going to court the judge would give him more time with her bcuz i said no after the second time of popping back into her life. but my momma instincts are telling me to stop this crap from happening to my baby!!! she doesnt need to hurt like this..shes sooo happy right now it will just kill her as she gets older and will see what this monster will end up doing to her! :(