Lost my baby girl at 21 weeks to preterm labor/Infection

Janaya Chanelle - posted on 05/04/2013

This is the end of a poem I read...... It brought me to tears!

As I sit here alone in the bed I started thinking about what I had said. When out of the silence, God spoke to me and this is what he said...

"My child, these tears I cry for you. For I am a God of Mercy and I lost a child too. For your child did not suffer and my child died in vein. I am a God that's gracious in so many ways. Yes, I took your child, but not because of anything you've done... I gave you the chance to make me an Angel, the greatest gift a mother can give to her God. The mothers of my Angels are special- that's why I chose you. But I'll let you in on a little secret that will bring a smile to your face..."

"When your child was in Heaven, before I sent him your way, your baby was my special Angel that I promised a perfect mom. So as I sat down and opened the 'Mommy Book' that precious little Angel took just one look and said..."

"God, I want that one to be my mommy"

"I looked up with tears in my eyes and said ' Sorry- no can do. That mommy, she's not for you.'

"Why is that?" the Lil Angel asked.

I replied, "For that mommy, her baby will not survive."

The little Angel looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "But please God! For HER...I would die!"

For I could tell the Angel was so sincere, despite what I had told him, I sent him here...

As a smile crossed my face a tear rolled down my cheek. To know of all the mommies in the whole wide world, that special Angel chose me...

Soma - posted on 04/26/2013

HI Carla P... so sorry to hear about your recent loss!!!... i also went through the same ordeal on Feb 11,2013( the date still send shivers down my spine!!!)... i understand exactly how you feeling right now... i delivered my li'l angel on that day @ 24 weeks..she fought for 3 hrs before leaving us forever.:'( :'(....
nothing.... nothing on earth can replace this void ever...i didnt even know this kind of pain even existed on earth !! :'( :'( ( can't control my tears!!!!)
never in my wildest of dreams did i ever imagine would be undergoing this kind of trauma... what is normal of others is so exceptionally and painfully different for me!!-Pregnancy :'(

i was diagnosed with a weak cervix and bulging of membranes at 20 weeks.. Dr. put a cerclage ..it didn't work although i had no other complications..every single lab result was fine..
I think she was just not meant for me..God had some other plans... i got to see her tiny feet when i delivered before they took her away from my sight...
I cry endlessly ..try to find out the unanswered questions that she left with me..try to find her in every bit around me...and keep calling her back :'( :'(
this is so so much painful!!!... praying nobody has to endure this ever ..
she lives in every breath of mine and will forever!!!.. love u a lott my darla.. momma loves u a lot :'( :'(

thank you all for helping me share... May lord bring us happiness some day !! wish our departed babies peace in heaven!
Amen!!

Carla - posted on 04/15/2013

Hello everyone, I lost our sweet little girl yesterday, April 13. I started experiencing lower pelvic pain on my left sign on Wednesday morning. My dad - a retired OB/GYN with 40 years experience - told me to lie down on my side and thought I might experiencing round ligament pain. He said if the pain didn't subside to go to my provider for "peace of mind". About 90 minutes later I had to have that peace of mind so my husband and I went to the office. Everything checked out, babies heart beat was strong and was told to take it easy for the rest of the day and take Tylenol. On Thursday, I went to work (I have a pretty sedentary job), pains were still there - just chalked it up to the round ligament pain reason. Friday, pains - all on the same side - still there. My dad and mom came over to keep me company and as we were out for lunch I noticed the most minimal dark brown spotting - and I mean minimal. Regardless, we went to the nearby hospital and they checked me out and our baby out and all was fine. Cervix was still clamped shut. During all this my mom started timing the waves of pain I was experiencing - 15 minutes - but since it was so localized no one thought they were contractions. All the pain I had was on my left side. The chief ob/gyn resident checked me and the baby's heartbeat was strong, she was moving around and my pain was more intense but manageable. It was about 3 or 4 in the afternoon They gave me a prescription for Sulindac and we were on our merry way - still thinking it was just strong round ligament pain. I took the sulindac around 8 pm once my husband came home from work and was able to get the prescription filled. It mask most of the pain but by midnight I called my dad saying I still felt intense pressure on that same left side and noticed that the waves of pain were seeming to be coming more intensely over shorter intervals of time. He told me to take 2 Tylenol and just try to lie down. Fifteen minutes later, I felt the first gush of blood. Screamed my husband's name, called my parents and then immediately went to the hospital - it was roughly 1:30 AM Saturday. When we arrived and they checked me out, baby was still doing great, and they checked me out and unfortunately determined that I was 3 cm dilated. I was told that I would likely delivery our baby girl (we found out the sex of our baby during the doctor on Wednesday morning).

I asked to see my little girl on the ultrasound again and we could see her very strong heartbeat, she was moving around, saw her little tush, her little feet. I hoped with all my heart that nature would reverse itself and my cervix would clamp back shut. The doctor at the hospital chatted with my dad over the phone and both said to me that stranger things have happened and it was just a wait and see game.

We moved to a delivery room, I was given very lose dose of morphine and finally couldn't feel the pains. My parents arrived. Sometime that morning they asked to check me again, and I said no. Let's give it more time to see if no progress was made. My mom left late Saturday morning to go sleep and change her clothes. Dr. Dad stayed with me and my husband. Around noon, the doctor came in and said we should check my cervix. I said ok - I was 5 cm dilated. At that point I realized that I was going to have my baby girl, who only was 19 weeks and six days. Nature was not going go my way.

Before taking anything to begin the process, I asked us to wait to give my mom time to return to the hospital. She arrived within a couple of hours. They checked me again, I was fully dilated but my water didn't break. They asked if they should break the water to speed things along, I looked at my dad, he nodded, I nodded. My worst nightmare came true. As they broke my water, I could feel her moving around. I know she was still healthy at that point but for some reason my body, something wanted her to come out.

Our little angel - Ophelia Olena - was born on April 13 at 4:17 pm. I tried (we tried) to give her the happiest birth possible. My husband hummed the song we danced to at our wedding as she was born, as I held her, my mom blessed my sweet baby and my dad sang to her. I tried very hard to share tears of joy and not sadness during the birthing process and as she was handed over to me. It was a happy birth for our beloved little girl and I am so thankful that I was able to spend 20 weeks with her. She brought us so much joy.

Thank you for letting me share,
Carla

Cara - posted on 04/12/2013

Thank you all for the responses! Sorry I havent been on here in awhile but I thought I would post an update. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl :) This time the doctor found that my cervix was weak and after it started shortening a stitch was put in at 20 weeks, so far so good and no other complications. The only thing that has gotten me to this point has been a lot of prayer, faith and a very proactive doctor.

Megan - posted on 03/25/2013

WHat a sad story! I am SO sorry fo ryour loss! I am 24wks 5days and went to labor and del tonight for leaking. My swab was neg and I was sent home :(

Amaya - posted on 01/25/2013

Jus try not to worry when Gods ready u will be blessed... in other words let go and get God

Neha - posted on 01/24/2013

I lost my baby boy at 23 weeks, and I miss him terribly. We have been TTC since two years with no success. And even if i conceive I am scared if something happens this time again!!!! Just praying to God for a healthy baby.

Genieve - posted on 01/22/2013

Sorry for your loss. It's comforting knowing that my experience is shared by so many mothers. It was Dec 11th, 2012 when my ordeal began. I had just returned from the lab after providing blood work. I got to work and went straight to the restroom to relieve myself when I noticed that my undies were wet. I wiped myself and saw that there was a heavy discharge and streaks of blood. Panic driven I tried getting hold of my dr but she couldn't be reached so I went to the nearest ER. By the time I got there my dr did return my pages and was told that I should go home, drink lots of fluid and put my feet up. I decided otherwise since I was already at the ER. I was instantly admitted and examined. My cervix had already dilated 2-3cm. I was told that I could be pt on bed rest but that was the most they could do at the time (20 wks). Having a cerclage was not an option. I stayed in the hospital for the next few days before I decided to transfer out into a hospital that I thought was well more equip to handle my situation. Got there and they gave me the same news but they wanted me to abort my baby but I couldn't do it (21wks). Even if she had 1% chance of surviving I was going to try. I knew that she would stand a better chance if I could get her to 23wks. Everyday, the dr's came in and advised and everyday I refused. was just about to be discharged to home when they examined me again and saw the my cervix had completely closed. How happy I was. I thought God had answered my prayers, I was now given the option to do the cerclage but they would have to check for infection since I was opened for such a long time. And to my disappointment there seemed to be an infection in her amniotic fluid. I was heart broken once again but still was holding hope that another miracle would happen. But I guess this time she decided for me and came the following day Dec 18th at 4.20 pm. She was beautiful and perfect. At 21wks 4 days, she weighted 14 oz and 10.5 inches,. Sorry to say she passed at 7.05pm the same day. I miss her dearly and often look at her pictures. I will never forget my lil angel. I am hoping to get pregnant again. This time my new dr will monitor the pregnancy from early and as a precaution they will do the cerclage within the first few months of the pregnancy.

Aliyah - posted on 01/02/2013

I lost twins at 21 weeks 5 days on 9.10.11 due to preterm labor as well. I'm 20 years old now and still having a very hard time coping I would like to speak to someone

Britt - posted on 11/07/2012

first and foremost sorry for all your loss..... its horrible .. i had a misscarriage as well .. and i still think of my baby ..... alll i can say .. for you .. and anyone else .. is cant the doctors .. since they are supposed to be doctors .. run tests.. in this day in age you would think they can run tests .. to make sure.. you are able to get pregnant.. if its a cervix thing then be sure to tell you that ahead of time ... so that you are aware of anything and everything .. isnt that why we go to them every year for acheck up ... and stuff so they can shove their hands up us .... well then why cant they tell us if we can or cant get pregnant .. why they are down there .... and tell us why ... its all soo upsetting to me because when i had my miscarriage my doctor was a total .. B**** and just shoved me out the door .. like she got my money and kicked me to the curb .. literally .... i was out there crying and crying .... doctors who are good ... tell you listen we will figure out whats going on .. and help you get what you want .. the results you want.. wether its to be pregnant .... or be on brth control for 5 years.... i feel like thats what kinda doctors we like and want .... and need .... need more of ... !!!! maybe ask your doctor before trying to conceive again if there is any tests you should have done .. or anything you should do .. to be sure everything is ok ... so that you dont go through everything .. u did ... ask ur doctor... whats the chance of the infecton coming back and is there anything you can do to help it not.... or even google that infection .. i google everything .... who doesnt even after doctors say something gooogle it .... if you dont like what one doctor says .. go see another one ... maybe they will help you more .. with your situation or know more ... hope you find the answers you are ooking for .... and know you arent alone .....

Gloria - posted on 11/04/2012

hi cara i wanna say sorry for your loss my sister her self just went thru this for the second time yesterday and her water had broke at 15wks and 5days which their was no hope for the bby to live kuz her dr said the bby at least had to be 20 weeks so they can help it survive and provide oxygen kus their lungs are stronger but her first dr never told her what had caused her water to break or anything til she was on her 2nd pregnancy with a different dr he had told her about her cervix and about she could get a cerclage so they were gonna scheduled her to have a cerclage placed in her on her next visit but it sadly didnt happen like that.so knw its not a option for her its something she defenatly will need in the future to hold her pregnancy til 9 monthes since her cervix is weak she would need one placed in when ever shes ready to have a other bby.

Black - posted on 10/27/2012

This has happened to me twice and I am thinking the same thing both at 22weeks I am also scared for next time but all we can do is hope and pray. I understand what you are going through and would also like to find out if anyone has had a healthy pregnancy after.

Halima - posted on 10/06/2012

Hi Cara Sumner



I had the exact same experience as you a few days ago and am grieving the loss of my baby. She was exactly 21 weeks on the day.



I am extremely sorry to hear of your loss. I still havent slept since the death of my baby and am wondering if il ever get over it.



I also find it difficult to believe why doctors dont / cant pick up signs of infection or open cervix before its too late. My Placenta swab comes back tomorrow.



Can we talk? Please email me....Look forward to hearing from you xxxx HUGS

Amaya - posted on 08/17/2012

Sorry bout ur loss.......Ive been down that road three times now.. Im afraid to get pregnant again.... Ive been reserachin bout the baby monitors and preterm preventions.. This last pregnancy i had an infection also and had to deliver my baby ealry because the infection was goin into my blood stream...... If u hve any questions or ssuggestions let me know.... maybe we cn help each other

Orla - posted on 06/26/2012

hello i am very very sorry for your loss xxx
i have experienced two losses at 21 weeks so i no how hard its is...
after my second loss i was told i did have an incompetent cervix but during my second pregnancy i had a cerclage place at 19 weeks because my cervix was very short but it failed at 21 weeks...i now have a transabdominal cerclage(but i'm not pregnant)

so you may have an incompetent cervix and an infection that caused you to have contractions.
my doctors say i most likely had an infection that caused me to contract leading to my waters breaking(because my cervix was short it is easier for infections to get in)...i no how hard it is trying to look for information.I would recommend getting your cervix lenght measured before pregnancy and also during pregnancy...

I have not started try for a baby yet as i am still healing from my losses (second loss in january 2010) take care of yourself xxx

Cara - posted on 05/15/2012

Thanks ladies for all the support! So sorry to hear that we have all had the same experience but at least we all have the support of one another to get through it :) My husband and I are trying again so fingers crossed that this time the Lord blesses us with a healthy pregnancy and full term baby! My thoughts and prayers to all of you that you will be blessed with the same :)

Ashley - posted on 05/03/2012

Hey Cara, I am terribly sorry to hear about your loss.
I can relate to you very much.
I had my baby girl preterm on April 8th 2012 due to a low lying placenta.
At 23 weeks my placenta had ruptured and had put me straight into labor.
I was bleeding extremely bad with lots of lower stomach pains, and by the time I made it to the hospital I was 4 cm dialated and there was really nothing they could do. I had my baby girl only a few hours later and she was with us for 5 hours before she had passed away. She was 1 lb 3 oz and 10.5 inches long, a beautiful healthy baby girl. I miss her so much. Now when my husband and I are ready to try again the doctors will watch me a lot closer than what they did during this pregnancy.
Again I am so sorry for your loss, You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Ukanwa - posted on 04/29/2012

So sorry about the sad news Cara. My membrane ruptured at the age of 24weeks, and I was admitted in the hospital for 8 days just so they can watch me and be prepared when I enter labor, and trust me it was a scary experience especially after series of visit from the baby doctors with their lectures on post delivery of preterms...but my girl decided to stay a while.

Then 3 weeks later I started having abdorminal pains like those serious menstral pain. When I got to the hospital, they carried out an ultrasound and I was told that I have to be admitted again because my water has gone really low, but they still had to wait until the contraction can open the neck of my womb. Two days later the fluid became yelowish which means an infection is setting in and because of this I was induced. I gave birth to my bundle of miracle at 27 weeks, she weighed 1.140kg. I was told the doctors can sew up down there next time to hold the baby till maturity, will ve to look into it when am ready for another kid.

cheers.

Sophia - posted on 03/27/2012

I am worried about future children as well. I went into labor at 21 weeks with my daughter on march 5 who was beautiful and perfect. My doctor has no idea what happened all the pathology reports were normal. He said I had a perfect pregnancy til then. I did ask my doctor what if I tried later would it happen again. Of course no Dr can guarantee that but he told me.lots of precautions they would take. Such as,my appts would be every 2 weeks and after 24 weeks every week. Vaginal ultrasounds to watch cervix early diabetes testing at 17 and 24 weeks. Also said the would start testing for Strep B early on at about 18 weeks. Puts me a little at ease knowing I have a great doctor. I just don't think I could handle the same heartbreak twice. I have such an empty feeling. I am looking for moms as well who have had a healthy birth after an extremely early preterm baby.

Meredith - posted on 01/26/2012

Hi Cara,

I am so sorry for your loss! I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks so my situation was very different. After the miscarriage I got pregnant again right away. During my sonogram to find the sex of the baby they noticed that my cervix was thinning. I was sent right to the hospital where a specialist did a cerclage to sew my cervix closed. I was put on bedrest for 30 days and my cervix was measured each week. After the 30 days I was taken off bedrest and cleared to do almost everything. The cerclage held the rest of the pregnancy and my son just turned 3 this past Sept. The drs advised me they would do sonogram earlier to check my cervix if I decided to have another baby. I would have a discussion with your dr as there are things like cerclages that help with some incompetent cervox issues. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Hugs, Meredith