Do you move the whole family to be closer to his work?

Summer - posted on 10/16/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi, our family is new to this industry. I have had a lot of questions!

We live in Northwest Washington state. My husband is doing his first shutdown at an oil refinery. We are trying to get him on more shutdowns across the country, where ever the work is.

Would you move the family too? He has this fantasy about us going to Texas, staying in the motel, for the length of the shutdown (like 30-50 days), save the $, then I get to pick Anywhereiwant, US to settle down, and he will travel to the next jobs. What do you gals think?

I think it sounds like hell, being a stay at home mom with a toddler stuck in a motel, (not to mention we are trying for another while hes near, which means probably morning sickness by that time) but I thought we could always go see the town...zoos, aquariums, see the sights. I know I could keep it positive, but it just doesnt sound right. We also have a minivan I financed this summer, and a giant black lab.

I am looking forward to paying down the bills. Its so nice that he's too tired to "handle" the finances, but thats another story :)

His perspective is, he wants us close, (we do too) wants to give us the opportunity for travel, he says we can get a room with a kitchen, and we both have been itching to get out of Dodge for a few years. (Sorry if im rambling, its late and ive been on here a while working on finding him work!)

We have already been seriously considering a cross country move. Do you think it would be possible to still receive per diem for a temp rental house, and we pay the difference?

So if he gets work down south, or in the midwest, and there seems to be more work in that area, does it sound logical for us to pack up and move? Im sitting here thinking back through American history, and there seems to be a pattern there...lol

Any input is greatly appreciated.

Thanks for listening,
Summer

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Natasha - posted on 10/17/2011

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Our son is four he will be five in december and he's a daddys boy but he is actually doing really well with it...yes theres times when he misses his dad but he is doing really well with it he talks to his dad everynight...I'm from Aberdeen over on the coast orginally but then moved to spokane and now we're in montana...another main reason why we didn't travel with him is because our son is going to be starting school next year and we didn't want to move him around to different schools either...it's a hard decision to make...I would suggest researching places to live and find a place where you would like to live and just stay there so you always have a place to go and you husband always has a home to come home to rather than a motel or motorhome...which he will most likely be living in while he's away...I know exactly what you mean by rollercoasters ever since we've been together something has always came along...they say when it rains it pours and thats so true..but then this opportunity came along and it seems that the sun has finally came out! I wish you the best of luck! Feel free to send me a msg on here anytime!

Kelly - posted on 10/17/2011

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It is probably an opportunity you will not get again. Once the kids are in school, unless you decide to homeschool, you will not be able to do this again. However you have to be onboard for this "adventure". I was listening to Dave Ramsey (Finanacial Peace University-author) the other day and a women posed this same question. He said DO NOT do it for the finances if it will just make you miserable and damage you marital relationship in the process. The moeny is not worth it for that. It has to be becasue you are up for the adventure and that is exactly how he referred to it. If it was me and I was up for it I would sit down and set some goals as a family. Are you renters or does this require selling a home in today's market? Should you set a goal of one year? What can you save in that time frame? Should you wait one or two years and not add an infant to this? Sit down and start writing down all the questions you may have. Then start listing the pro's and con's. Realistically you will move at least 6 -12 times in one year. However if your first born does go to school you have 3 years for this type of opportunity. You both want to go into this with goals and a desire to do it. Not with one getting dragged by the other so organize your thoughts and sit down to a big family discussion!

Crystal - posted on 10/18/2011

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depending on the hotel you stay at some are like small studio apts! There are tons of things you can do while your there. Especially in Texas. There are alot of us "oil" moms down there and I'm sure someone would help ya out. I would but I'm in MI. It is a very good opportunity for you and your toddler also. We relocated from IL to MI because he was suppose to have all this work here close to home which he did until we moved! Once we moved now he's working more in PA/WV all the time. Sadly we bought a home and we have 3 school age children, a 3yr and one on the way. so us moving around like that won't happen for us. good luck!

Natasha - posted on 10/17/2011

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I know exactly how you feel I used to live in eastern washington and my husband just started working in the oil fields in north dakota. My son an I moved to montana because I have family here and to be closer to him because he's gone 2-3 months then comes home for 2 weeks...we talked about the whole motel thing even getting a motorhome and traveling with him...we finally decided that we will just stay in montana and get a house and he wel come home every 2-3 months...we didn't see the traveling around making sense because they move around all the time and he still wouldnt be there all the time because he goes to other locations also plus the cost of living is outrageous! It is hard and very emotional but it's worth the money we're doing it just to get old bills paid off! I hope this helped be strong...everything will work out!

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Summer - posted on 10/17/2011

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Jackie, you make a good point!! I was thinking of the holidays coming up, how my big red mixer will be in storage here in WA, and no cookies to bake, house to decorate, etc. Hopefully we will find someplace great to land for Christmas!

Jackie - posted on 10/17/2011

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I say go for it! Now's the time when your family is young to have a new adventure. You can settle down soon, and your hubby wanting you close is a blessing, so treasure this time you guys can spend together.....even if it's in a motel! Sounds dreamy to me, relaxing in a motel room while your toddler plays/watches movies/etc....you can read, go to the pool, spend the days exploring, whatever you feel like doing. Not too many responsibilities, do it!

Summer - posted on 10/17/2011

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Thanks for the input, ladies! Kelly, I am definately up for the adventure, I'm just unsure about how it will affect a child. Just trying to stay grounded ;-) I think this industry is actually helpful for our marriage. We have been through a very rocky down hill roller coaster, and now we are climbing to the top, but only because we both found Jesus. But this job certainly helps! Now we treasure our time together.

Natasha, I agree with your common sense about settling down, we just don't think that's a right now possibility. We need one more shutdown, then we will have enough $ to start over. I grew up in Yakima, where are you from? :-) SMS

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