Has anyone decided to travel WITH their husbands?

Dana - posted on 12/12/2012

I did. But we are in our 50s and our children are about grown. We still pay expenses at our home and here. I really miss my daughter..she is 20 and in college. But there are lots of familys with children out here in North Dakota. You dont have to get an Rv. We started out that way. Many companys will help you find housing for your family and sometimes they charge more than if you find your own place. Even tho its hard to find in some areas its very do-able. And yes he will work a lot of hours but you will still be able to cuddle with him at night and he will have days off to play. Its 100 times better than being totally seperated. Try to stear clear of Williston..its just to crazy there. Most other places are good. Personally I dont like North Dakota at all. But I do like making a home for my husband and spending time with him. I know where he is at nite.

Jourdain - posted on 11/01/2012

I am new to this site, but I have contempated moving with my boyfriend. We have been dating for almost a year (I know its a short amount of time) But we have dedicated ourselves to making this relationship work. I am in college and he just was invited to move to a company based in Ohio. (I am in Texas) I hate not seeing him for months at a time, and he has confessed to me that it hurts him for us to be away for so long. We have tried skype, we talk often enough, and once a week we try to facetime each other. Recently we had a discussion and he asked me how would i feel if I came out there with him but not permanately. (We all know that they are never in one place permanately). He asked how i would feel if everytime he traveled, if I would go too.



I have thought about it. I know it would take extreme mental disapline. I am a photographer, we don't have kids and I know I could take my classes online.



We are still discussing it, I may not have to make my decision until maybe another year or so but still it is very scary. Almost scarier than possibly recieving a phone call one day saying something happened to him while on location.



You had kids so I imagine the decison is a lot harder. Having the kids to give uo their lives, friends is hard. They would have to be strong, and you stronger to keep their spirits up. I would say if you are going to do it then make sure you have talked to your little boys about it.

Best of luck girl

Wandering - posted on 11/01/2012

My dear, as always, amazing words of wisdom! I do so enjoy reading your musings. Keep 'em coming! :-)

Wandering - posted on 11/01/2012

We have packed up and loaded into our 5th wheel to travel with Dad. We spent four months without him and we were all pretty miserable. Sure, we had the anticipation of talking each day (if he was able to find a cell signal in his remote area), and the few visits we were able to squeeze in were exciting and appreciated by all of us but ultimately left us missing each other terribly afterwards. Our marriage didn't suffer for the distance during that time, but we felt as though we were missing out on so much more.



We have three children, two remaining at home, ages 13 and 11. We have found it to be a fabulous experience. Yes, there are challenges, but these are far outweighed by the positives we gain. We get to see Dad every night, even if it's only long enough for him to eat dinner before heading to bed. We have plenty of conversation over that short period of dinner time and this can be priceless. We enjoy visiting new places, discovering new things in the area, working together to keep this working. We're here when Dad gets the occasional day off and even if it's just a day spent doing silly things here at the camper, we're here. We are able to make life a bit easier for Dad too, which he appreciates. He doesn't have to find time to do his laundry, his shopping or even cooking meals after a long hard day/week. He is offered the comfort of being taken care of, providing more free time for him to spend with us.



There are many in the area we are in that are in the same situation. My children have found friends around their ages in our current area, but we're not always that lucky. That being said, no matter where you are, there are plenty of things to explore/discover together. We have come closer together as a family. It's amazing the things you can do together when you're forced to be creative in order to occupy/satisfy everyone.



In our opinion, there may be challenges, but each and every one of those are well worth the effort/compromises made in order to keep our family together.



It may not always be easy or comfortable, but it is certainly worth considering. We don't regret the decision we've made. Family is what's important to us, and keeping ours together will always be worth what others may consider sacrifices. Too many have sacrificed their family life in order to pay their bills. We didn't want to give up our family time for the almighty dollar.

Lady - posted on 10/29/2012

Life change #1...Husband taking a job in ND Oilfield

Life change #2...selling everything we owned

Life change #3...realizing we didn't miss/need any of it!

Life change #4...purchasing our home...27' bumper pull trailer (for now)

Life change #5...choosing to Home school so we can have family time when Dad is off and we have the flexibility/freedom to follow Dad as needed



Our family...2 kids under age 9 at home (other kiddos out making their way in the world aged 22 and 20)



Living in the camper...Mom, 2 kids, big dog, 2 cats. Dad when he is off. Dad's rotations are 2 weeks out and 6 days home, for now. Things change in this industry and that's why I say 'for now'. It is what it is.



There isn't anywhere we can live in ND (Williston area) that would make it so my husband could be home every night, so we moved out of Utah and came to Wyoming to be closer to our big kids. The company my husband works for provides housing and shuttles, so while he feels like a hostage on his 2 weeks at work, he is pretty well provided for which is better than alot of guys have it out there.

Right now, we live at an RV park and we like it pretty well, as it offers Horse back riding, Buffalo train tours and is only 10 minutes outside of Cheyenne. There's a playground and lots of room to ride bikes. We take classes at the Library, tour the Museums, visit family and have made friends here in the Trailer hood :) We are really HAPPY to have taken this leap of faith and just gone with it. My husband is trying to get on with a company here, but in the meantime, we just roll with whatever comes along. It is a BIG decision, but the kids are happy and things are working out well for us. One thing is we agree to change what needs to be changed when it needs to happen. Honesty is key to surviving this lifestyle.



Some observations:

It's very economical to live this way and we might actually be able to save $ to buy land. It's cheaper than renting and there's no Landlord or HOA's. If you don't like a park you can move to another. If my husband changes companies or gets relocated we don't have to worry about being stuck in a lease or having a mortgage and a conventional house to deal with. We meet new and interesting people every day and there's plenty of opportunity to travel and see all kinds of things. In a way it feels like you are permanently on vacation and there's definitely a sense of freedom that comes with it all..those are the pro's.



The cons are:

You don't know who these new and interesting people REALLY are, so you want to keep your kids close and be careful not to get caught up in the drama of the full timers in the Trailer hood.

Not all RV parks operate year round, so if you are tempted to go on the road keep in mind you might not be able to find a spot to park your rig close to where your spouse is working. Also, lot rent can be very high in areas where there are more people than spots to park. Some RV camps charge more for kids and some charge for pets or won't allow extended stays because you have bigger dogs or more than one dog. If your spouse is working on a crew, you might find yourself the only Mom/Kids tagging along and the 'Man Camp' may not be the ideal environment for the kids. If you are in a colder climate be prepared to deal with frozen water lines even when using heat tape! Make sure your camper is Polarized/Winterized because condensation causes lots of problems. Be prepared to deal with cabin fever by making sure you have plenty of board games, cards, craft supplies, etc. because you may end up in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do! Remember when your husband comes off a 20hour shift he will want to shower, eat and sleep...not hear about YOUR day, and you will need a way to keep things quiet for him to get his rest.



Words of advice:

Prepare, prepare, prepare for every imaginable thing and you will be good to go.

Expect to feel isolated, lonely and bored at times...keep it real!

Plan to spend alot of time cleaning because there are alot of pets/people living in a confined area.

Rent a camper and try it out for at least a month before you jump into it.

WILL IT SAVE A MARRIAGE TO DO THIS? it's anyone's guess. Marriage takes love, trust, respect, understanding and hard work whether you are together or apart. It's not the Oilfield that ruins a marriage, it is the actions of a Man and Woman dealing with the stressors of the lifestyle, that make or break the relationship.



Don't forget to pack your sense of humor and take a huge swig of patience and head out with an open mind. Home is where you hook up :)

Daisy - posted on 07/26/2012

I honestly dont think its a bad idea. Ive seen trailers all over in south texas have their own privacy and benefit for the family to be together. I usually drive to see him and we stay at a hotel and drive down austin, houston and san antonio just to get away. So no your not crazy for trying to keep your marriage alive and family together. You do what makes it work for you. I really wouldnt care what anyone else thinks as long as you got it together. :-)

Blaaaaah - posted on 05/12/2012

I have 3 children and have been traveling with my husband for 3 years..... Best decision I ever made. He is able to come home more often because we are always conveniently close to his locations. Our marriage is much stronger now

Ebrony - posted on 04/15/2012

I decided to travel with my husband. We have 2 kids 1yr & 2yr old. We relocated to Dickinson, ND which is not a very big town, and then the weather is unpredictable, but we are here. We come from Louisiana which is a big change. We are also hell bent on making our marriage work. There are no daycares that are excepting kids so if u want to work u will have to try and find a sitter, but if u work then u and ur husband will probably never see eachother. They do have crazy hours and u don't get as much family time, but the way I look at it is some time is better than none. I am only 24 and all our family is back in LA, so that makes it hard being away from them, but we drive down as much as we can. They make good money, and with this company housing is paid, so y not come up and be with him. U will save a lot more money to with him not having to travel back and forth home. I just miss family, the nice weather, being able to have pets, and freedom/a break sometimes. Overall it's a good thing to relocate to where your husband is stationed at.

JJ - posted on 04/13/2012

We have chosen to travel with my husband. Most people think we are nuts but like you we just want to be together...It was difficult to not just do what everyone else has chosen to do...would be happy to answer any questions.
JB
couponkiwi@gmail.com

Amanda - posted on 03/25/2012

Honestly I wouldnt travel with my husband. Most days he works around 18 hrs. We have a travel trailer and I cant imagine him coming home to that and trying to sleep with the kids running around. Plus after they work there really is no family time left in the day. So I dont see the point. As far as failing marriages I dont focus on that. Our marriage has actaully gotten better since he works away. He cant wait to call and talk to me daily. When hes home we have time to do more together. We def enjoy our time together more. If youve never stayed in an rv/travel trailer. I would def rent one first and take a 2 week camping trip to see if you like it. Living in an rv is stressful its self with a family of four.