Hello I'm new here and I feel like a single mother?

Heather - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My name is Heather and I have a 8 month old Little Girl Lillian Grace but we call her Lilly! I was on bed rest most of the time and now I'm a stay at home mom. I feel like a single parent My husband is gone ALL the time it seams like and when he is home its wried like I don't no what to do I'm just used to doing it all I some times get angry when he don't do things the way I do. I know that its wrong of me but sometimes I feel like there is stranger he when he trys to fit in with our schedule. Is there anything kind of help you can offer I would be very greatful. This is my frist child and I'm scared Im not doing it right! thanks Heather and family

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Kristi - posted on 01/04/2010

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I know EXACTLY how you feel! When I am home alone for the week with our 15 month old daughter I have my schedule down pat. Wake up, breakfast, play time, errands, lunch, nap, play time, snack, more playing(cleaning), dinner, bath, books, bed. And all of those things happen at certain times (normally). But once my husband comes home, all of that gets thrown out the window! It drives me NUTS!!!! I cannot watch him change her, feed her, even play with her sometimes because it's not the way I do it. But I try my hardest to let them have as much free time (however chaotic it may be) because I know that they miss each other so much! Good Luck!

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Lauri - posted on 02/14/2010

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i feel like i have an extra kid when my husband comes home!!!! He just wants to play with the boys. I often have to pull him up for letting / encouraging the kids to do something that i dont allow. I dont want him to be a monster that the kids fear, but i need him to be on the same page that i am on when it comes to raising the boys.
Just remember that no matter how hard it is for you to stay at home and raise your chid/ren alone, your husband has to walk away from not only them, but you also..... its much harder for them. take care.

Ellen - posted on 12/21/2009

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First of all, I'm sure you are a fantastic mom!! I've been a riggers wife for (almost) 5 years now, and have two kids (4 and 2) and absolutely know what you are talking about. When your husband comes home for his 'week' off, the first day is usually really happy and exciting because you've been waiting to see him, but the next few days are usually a big adjustment!! Remember that you've had 24/7 getting to know little Lilly and are probably speedy at all things baby :) Her Daddy doesn't have that experience, he is still learning how to handle a baby. I find that if I leave the room or leave them alone when husband's trying to change/dress/feed/etc the baby because that way I am not there to notice him doing it 'wrong'. I usually try to clear my schedule a bit when husband's home so that we can do things together as a family. Trying to make him feel a part of the family and my husband usually takes the kids at least one afternoon/evening during the week so I can have time off to myself (a break) and he gets bonding time one on one with our kids!

Sabrina - posted on 12/17/2009

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congradulations on your baby! im sure she is omaga sweet. I know the feeling, really its just a matter of trying to keep him a part of your everyday life without him there. try to talk over messaging with a webcam, oviously phone conversations every night. I know someone who actually had her husband read stories to his kids on a recording so they can have story time with daddy. its hard and you can only hope it can get better. just try to keep in mind that it is hard on him too to be so far away.

Carol Jean - posted on 12/04/2009

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You have to let him do things his way, unless its endangering the child. If he is trying to help that is great! My husband works all night and during the day he sleeps. so I feel like I get no help whatsoever, and I have a toddler and a 10 month old.

I get angry too, I'll tell him how I feel and he'll help for a couple of days and then seem to forget that this is a lifetime commitment. Maybe that is what he doesn't like, ha,ha.

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