How do all the other stay at home moms stay sane!?

Nichole - posted on 05/17/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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My husband works out of town on an oil rig so it is up to me to do everything!!! Clean the house, take care of the kids, cook dinner, wash clothes, tend to the yard, take out the garbage, drag the trash and recycling to the road, bring the trash cans back...aaaaahhhhh!!! Any suggestions on how to wind down?

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Verlan Fondren - posted on 10/22/2013

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Well girl, I tell you what... I have 5 children ranging in ages from 8-13. My youngest is severely disabled. I am in one state and my "husband" is in another, so I know what it is like to have everything fall onto your shoulders. I don't have a housekeeper and because of my son's health, babysitting in not really an option. So what I do is WORK those KIDS!!! When they were younger, we cooked together, I taught them how to clean and help out with their younger sib. Now they help me considerably with washing clothes, cooking meals, helping out with their younger sib... Especially when I just need some time to myself for awhile. I know that things may be crazy now, however hold on and work with the munchkins... Help them to help you and in turn your family will be stronger...V.V.

Julie Jacobs Life Coaching Services - posted on 02/24/2014

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Once I started thinking of myself as Work At Home Mom instead of Stay At Home Mom I began to add more value to the position I hold in my family. Trying to stay sane is an inside job for me and there are not enough bubble baths to replace the joy I have found in embracing my importance.

Elise - posted on 10/27/2013

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I have a 9 month old baby girl, we have lawn care, housekeeper, and a pool person. They all come once a week. No nanny or babysitter, and no family nearby. I'm 28 and the first of my friends to have a baby. It is rough even with all the help with chores around the home. My husband just started the offshore position april 15th of 2013. Our daughter was only two months old at the time. My only break is i joined the YMCA and they have a 2 hr babysitting service during workouts. So i go daily on weekdays.

Lupe - posted on 06/25/2010

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Yes it is hard! I miss my husband so much. I find myself crying sometimes because it's like being a single mom. Then by the time he gets home you don't want to slam him with a hunny do list. What I've come up with is I do 2 loads a day, throw trash first thing every morning so it doesn't pile up. I make menus, so I know exactly what I'm cooking and what I need. I make myself to do lists and whatever wasn't acomplished that day I add to the next day. That way I don't forget and evently it will get done.

[deleted account]

I'm right there with you. We have two great special needs kids but its crazy. Would love to be laying out on the beach with a Margarita.

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Greg - posted on 07/25/2016

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Sofia - posted on 07/11/2016

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your husband needs to pay someone to tend to the yard and chores around the house so you can breathe

Carrie - posted on 02/17/2016

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I usually get up about 10 or 15 minutes before the rest of my family. I get in my prayer closet (which doesn't hafta be a closet, mine is the half bath in my laundry room, cuz no one ever goes in there). I spend that time having alone time with God. It helps me to start the day with God, cuz as soon as the kids are up the stress of being a mother begins. On the days that I over sleep and don't have alone time with God usually are my most stressful days. Everything seems to go wrong and get on my nerves. I feel like I'm yelling more and stuff that needs to be I'd so hard to get done those days. I also go into my prayer closet after the kids are in bed. About 10 minutes before I'm fixing to lay day. I sleep do much better after my alone time with God. I pray for you and hope I've helped.

Kavy - posted on 12/17/2015

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Just relax! Let chores wait a bit. Spend time with the kids. Read to them perhaps? Its said reading at an early age helps raise baby geniuses- http://www.babydearie.com/raise-baby-gen...

Also sometimes, we just have to let go- let go of the things, worries etc and relax and spend time on ourselves! Give yourself a pat on the back- you're doing a great job, taking care of everything! -http://www.babydearie.com/want-happy-bab...

Kimwear1961 - posted on 11/24/2015

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I also do everything and its a lot of work then putting a child on top of that its hard to handle . for myself I have to have some [me] time .whether I get up early to be alone with a book and a cup of coffee or find a sitter and just go out shopping you have to have balance in your life ,yes and maybe you cant get a sitter but try after the kids are asleep just forget all the house work and take a long hot bath or relax by the fire ,mainly just be alone to unwind . I hope this was helpful

Kathy - posted on 11/14/2015

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Hey Ladies! There is hope! My kids are getting older now but I have six and when they were younger, my husband traveled all the time! Some things that really got me through this time: A women's Bible Study, Babysitters!, swapping time with another friend so that we both had a moment to recharge - just once a week but it helped SO much. Lastly, I had an hourly schedule so that I would only clean for an hour, then spend an hour with my kids doing an activity, naps, when to cook etc. It kept me on task and gave me a purpose. Hang in there! Make some friends. Women need women face to face to make it through these years!

Brittany - posted on 09/25/2015

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thats exactly how i feel ive been working since i was 15 now we moved here and we have an 11month old son and i love being home with him but i get so bored and feel useless sometimes . im a military wife and have no friends here so its really tough.

Youngsarah79 - posted on 08/03/2015

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I would like to know the same thing cuz I go crazy. my husband thinks I should be happy I get too stay home but really...I want a life too...

Barbara - posted on 02/15/2015

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Well, sometimes we sort of temporarily don't then it passes and we do. Keep trying. If the kids can help its good for them and it's good for you even the tiniest bit of help from them helps feel less alone. I agree aaaaaah!

Chrystal - posted on 10/09/2014

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Hi am on this cause i don t have anyone i can talk to, i feel so stressed i have a 2 year old and a 6 year old and i feel overwhelmed exhausted and i can t work like i use to and my kids have been throwing alot of tantrums daily i just feel like no one eles arounds me understand just ppl on the internet

Hollie_baker - posted on 09/09/2014

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This can definitely become a sanity saver! My Brother-in-Law Evan Brammer and his wife Jessica are launching a wonderful site that produces handmade subscription audio stories. They home school their 5 young children and realized a need for good wholesome stories for children whether they are doing an activity or quietly listening. Let their imagination spring to life! Check out their Kickstarter Campaign
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/storymoment/storymoment

Truef - posted on 04/19/2014

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Hi,
Why don't you get your children to help you with the chores. That way it is less work for you and more time with them.
I've learnt something that helped me think positively about housework, that is when I clean my home, I clean myself. My home is a reflection of me.

Antonella - posted on 01/28/2014

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Hi my husband was in hospitality when we had our first daughter, unfortunately I did not deliver naturally which when I got home made it very difficult. I found after a tough day once the scar came good, after having gotten infected and re opened, having a nice relaxing bath, listening to soft relaxing music worked a treat for me.
I found that in order to stay sane, the big do for me was reconeecting with myself at the end of the day and husband. SEE ARTICLE bymumsside.com.au

Hope that helps
Antonella

Shannon - posted on 01/13/2014

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you need to get a vibrator I used to do the same things you have to do until my husband changed jobs but it relieves the stress of everything and its nice to once a day or more ;) get out my little friend and make myself have mind blowing orgasms it relieves stress and feels great anyway i hope you chose to try this as it really helped me anyway good luck to you and have fun

Lena - posted on 11/15/2013

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I wrote about this exact question on a blog a long time ago. Here is a snippet of that post and the link:

I know I took for granted the adult interaction I experienced every day at work. Before my first daughter was born, I worked at a stimulating job, had good relationships with my co-workers, and saw my husband every evening at home. After baby arrived, I went from stimulating daily conversation to very limited adult interaction topped with sleep deprivation. It was a difficult adjustment to make for sure.

So what did I do?...
http://www.whatmommydoes.com/something-n...

DawnDee - posted on 11/08/2013

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Take some deep breaths mom. I mean really take some deep breaths. Check out Deepak Chopra Ocean Mediation and some of his others. Wai Lana Yoga is another one. All of these can be found on You Tube. I watch these before I go to bed and when I take a break between taking care of the house and everyone else. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!! You are apart of the house - you are the main part - the Glue that holds it all together. I have done this for 17 years and it works. I do it daily. Take a good multi-vitamin or prenatal and a Vitamin D. You will be brand new, Keep the Faith..

Khari - posted on 10/15/2013

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Hey Nichole, you definitely have a lot on your plate. Do you have a side babysitter at all? If not I would say maybe finding a side, on call babysitter, someone that you feel comfortable with (if it's in your budget) and having set days with your friends, family or just alone (Once or twice a week). If it's not in your budget right now, set times where your kids take their naps and/ or they go to bed for the night, and let that be your you time. We all need this.....! It is very healthy, it also helps us from pulling all our hair out. When their sleep for the night or taking a nap, you can order you a movie and dinner, take a bubble bath with a glass of wine (at night lol), or whatever you like to do and just relax. Focus on you!!!

Angela - posted on 11/19/2011

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This may sound silly but I have a housekeeper that comes once every two weeks for about an hour, she brings over her little girl and cleans the bathrooms and the kitchen and washes windows, it is kind of like a play date with perks, sounds kind of selfish but other than that I dont really have much to look forward too... just a thought

Eunice - posted on 11/11/2011

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i know this has been posted a year ago but i need to know do most stay at home moms stay sane with all the demands. i have a 2 year old little boy and an almost 1 year old little girl. my husband works overseas and i don't have a baby sitter or househelp. i've been experiencing frustrations lately and i don't feel good about myself at times. please help. thanks.

Liana - posted on 06/29/2010

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yes i know how that feels, unfortunately havent come up with anything to help the situation, but its a good thing i have a very supportive family, when i'm at wits ends i take a trip to grandmas house out in the country, and while my girls are exploring the great outdoors i get a little bit of "me" time, not much but makes me sane again.

Kimberly - posted on 06/26/2010

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It really is hard. My other half works shift work and its brutal because we can't even develop a routine. The baby is four months old now, sleeping well at night (when we can get him to bed) and doesn't sleep in the day time. I barely get time to change loads of laundry or load the dishwasher...

However! I found a gym that offers child care while I work out. The baby gets a little social time, and I get some time to myself where I don't have to worry about the baby. It's not much, but I feel better after a work out. And! After the work out, the walk home is about 15-20 minutes. The baby loves the stroller and we're both getting fresh air, so we can't go wrong.

On days where he's really fussy, I put him in the stroller and put headphones on. He can scream all he likes, but I'm still getting a break.

Ashley - posted on 06/22/2010

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I hear ya!!! I have found that if you do excercise in the morning, then at night drink a cup of camomile tea that should help on a daily basis. also see if you can get a babysitter one day or night a week and go out with your friends for a couple of hours to do whatever shopping, eating, drinking, whatever floats your boat!!! this seems to take the stress out from the week.... if that isn´t possible then put the kids into a group or class for the kids and take a breather for you. My kids go to school in the afternoon so I have 4 hours to myself... most of them is for cleaning but I take out 1 or 2 hours for me to relax... it seems to help.

Stephanie - posted on 06/14/2010

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you poor thing...My husband just works long hours and I sometimes just plain go crazy. I try to put the kids to bed so I can have time to watch a show or read for an hour but sometimes that doesn't even seem to be enough. I totally know how you feel and it just plain gets exhausting. Get away from the house too... its ok if it doesn't look perfect when the kids are grown it will still be there to clean.. that was some advice given to me although hard to follow I have given up on things being just right. Hang in there and keep posting cause talking about things helps the most.

Melissa - posted on 05/17/2010

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Haha If you find out, let me know!!! I hear you on everything. It can be hard. I started enrolling my kid into fun little classes for her, but it gets me out of the house and I get to actaully talk to other adults.

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