Missing my Husband

Raina - posted on 11/23/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My husband is gone on his first 2 week hitch with Nabors up in Casper WY. He has been in the oil field since we have been together but in the past he was never gone for more than a week at a time but was able to come home every night other than once and a while. This is a new adjustment for my 3 sons and I (and for my husband as well). Why do I feel like he is out having a good time with the guys after work while I am sitting home with the kids and essentially alone once they go to sleep? I know that he is not out drinking or anything but he just seems so content. I do not want him to feel as miserable as I do but I wish I felt more like he misses us.

When does it get easier and how do you make the time away better?

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Tashina - posted on 11/27/2012

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I totally understand how you feel Raina! My husband has been in the oilfield industry for 6 out of the 8 years we have been together. He originally started with a schedule of 2 weeks on 2 weeks off up in the western slope. For the first two years with his company this was his schedule. As he moved up through the company to a Directional Driller his schedule finally changed and he was working in town and was able to come home every evening or morning depending on which tower he was working. Last year he started with a new company and things have drastically changed. His first hitch with the new company and he was gone for almost 6 weeks. It varies a lot with the rig they send him to but it's anywhere from 2 to 6 weeks long with sometimes only getting a few days off in between rig moves or if they send him to a whole new rig. He has been home for a month at a time as well. I honestly don't think it will ever get easier but you learn how to deal with him being away and missing the important things in life. Then you learn how to deal when he comes back home and things are absolutely chaotic because all you want to do is spend time as a family while also dealing with the "normal" aspects of life. When he is gone it gives me a lot of time to catch up with my family and the few friends I do have. My kids keep me extremely busy with their activity schedules, if they weren't involved with so much stuff I think I would go crazy thinking about my husband ALL the time. Don't get me wrong, I think about him constantly but with my kids keeping me busy it doesn't give me time to dwell on him not being around. We text, talk, skype as much as possible. I sometimes feel the same like he is content with leaving which I know is so not true. We have talked about it and he feels just as horrible as I do but he can mask his feelings a lot better then me. I think since some men aren't as emotional as women it's a lot easier for them to make it seem like they don't care or that it's really easy to get up and go but in all reality they don't want to do and would rather stay home with their family. I truly hope things get easier for you as time moves on.

Jody - posted on 11/27/2012

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For the last 6 years my husband has been away anytime between 2 to 4 weeks at a time. The reality of this is, while I know he misses us huge amounts, he is with his friends and doing a job he enjoys. At first I used to get really messed up about this - bitter and resentful, but then common sense lept in. He would be home all the time if he could be, but needs must, and we need the money. So - while he is away, I make a real effort to catch up with my friends, watch programmes on the telly that I love and he hates, read books (when parenting the monsters allows) and take up the WHOLE bed at night. I do stuff that I and my kids enjoy. Which means, when he skypes us every day, I have stuff to talk to him about, he dosen't worry about us and when he does finally come home - we all just look forward to seeing him, enjoying having him home and our precious family time.

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