Real Housewives of the Oilfield.....

Kari - posted on 11/22/2009 ( 217 moms have responded )

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I think since we have all the Real Housewives who are all rich and snody, they should consider a show called The Real Housewives of THe Oilfield and see how our lives are. People constantly tell me how lucky I am to have a man in the oilfield and how they wish their boyfriends or husbands would get into, well let me be the first to say and I am sure many of you agree, being a housewive or just a wife or girlfriend to the oilfield isn't easy by no means!! :) How many of you agree??

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Crystal - posted on 12/03/2012

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I grew up with a father in the oil field and now my husband is in the business. I've been a single mom for many years before we got together. Together 10yrs married 5yrs. It is most definitely harder to be a single mother than an oil field wife. As a single mom you have a sucky income and no one to really share your life with. Everyone talking about the dads missing moments, they would still miss them if they had a local job. You think boss is gonna let him off work to see your child's first steps. Yes the money is good. But your husband is out there busting his butt in one of the toughest industries to support you and the kids. Everyone saying you don't have time to relax from being a mom/wife to be a lover!!! Think date nights! While the kids are away the adults will play!! That doesn't mean the entire time he's in just a day here a night there. Your relationship is only going to work if you work at it. Keep thinking and acting negative and you'll soon find yourself a single mom!!!

Ashley - posted on 12/30/2013

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I am (22) as is my husband and he has been working the past 3 years for a workover rig in palestine, tx. We have a daughter who is 11 months old and i can tell you from your posts on here that i am fairly new to this but your missing your spark..it may be lonely and it will be ever worse due to the fact my husband is fixing to move to an offshore rig for scan drilling.. but the point is you all are amazing women and your husband (trust me) is so grateful for a woman like you to come home to and to be there for them every step of the way! I know the job is dangerous and I know the time apart is rough but in the long run you have the all ameriacan lifestyle..a hands on man and housewife! how grateful am I to have the opputrunity to stay home with my daughter and watch her grow thanks to my wonderful husband! My opionion is its such a turn on that my man physically contributes to the world and gets a little dirty in the process despite the dangers.. these days anything you do including walking down the street is dangerous so i look at the positive side of things it his job and its our life and if you dont like it then leave it after all you chose this life and you chose this man! I will always stand beside mine and always stand strong just like he does everyday! Respect the hitches and respect the man and life may be hard but if it wasnt it wouldnt be normal. Love your husbands ladies even though you may be tired of feeling alone... time apart makes the heart grow fonder just remember!!

Mehgan - posted on 08/03/2013

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I agree with you! Being an oilfield wife you are a single mom and a married one. You are the man and the woman of the house. You are here for every one but little time for yourself. It is a rough job for any woman and takes a strong one to be one. If you are not a tough strong woman then you will not survive. Dont get me wrong, I have been happily married 9 years all oilfield, 5 kids, and everytime he goes to work, him coming back home just rekindles our love again honeymoon all over again!!!

Celeste - posted on 04/05/2013

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I am so glad I am came across this page! My husband has worked in the oilfield for 15 years and we have been married 16 years this July. So yes our 1st year anniversary he was gone. We have 2 kids 13 and 7. Having a 6yr gap between them and trying to do things with both of them at this age is challenging when my husband is gone. She wants to go to the mall and movies while my son want to go to Chuck E Cheese's, the Zoo, and other things she does not want to bothered with. We live an hour away from our family for now almost 2years and I am starting to regret our move. :-( We are blessed to have a family that will help out when we need them, but I get tired of driving back and forth. Oh and I work full-time as well, son is in Karate and baseball. Daughter will be starting high school end of this year and plays volleyball and want to try out for basketball. Give me strength!! I can say the GREAT thing is I have a loving and supportive husband who does everything when he's home...cook, clean, wash clothes, pick up kids, and bring them to extracurricular activities. The flip side is everything that can go wrong, goes wrong when he's gone!!

Carli De - posted on 05/28/2013

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will exist the possibility that someday generate a foundation of emotional, educational and moral for us moved oil Wives and children, with people trained in the field psychological, psychiatric and educational?. perhaps many of us can be professionally fit to support and encourage other families in this area, as well as husbands sometimes also need such help to cope with their work and their relationships with their partners and families, all this without this foundation is unique to one particular group or company, we can globalize and create a kind of oil wives united nations. would be very far-fetched idea?

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Jacqueline - posted on 05/10/2014

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I have 3 kids ages 7, 6, and 3. My husband works 15 on and 6 days off. We only see him 4 days a month, it's really hard, I live in Vancouver and he is in Alberta. The money is good but the distance between us is tough. I am hoping it gets easier in time.

Barb - posted on 03/24/2014

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For Amber Price. My husband and my son both work on the oil rigs in Alberta. My son is an outside worker, and he works sometimes 21 days straight, 12 hours days with one week off, or 14 days straight with one week off. His wife and daughter stay at their home while he is out of town. Sometimes he stays in a camp, and sometimes in a hotel. He makes decent money, but is responsible for his own travel to the work site. My husband is an inside worker in one of the camps. He doesn't make as much money as my son, but it's better than what we can find in BC. He works 23 days out, 6 days, 5 nights at home. It is not an easy situation, but my daughter in law and myself try to make the best of it. To answer your question, they don't "send for your spouse". The spouses for the most part stay home, and the workers come home when they can on their off time. The workers are working long days, and all in a row in many cases, so wouldn't have much time to spend with the spouse anyway. There are situations where both spouses work on the rigs, or in the camps together. If you chose to stay home, and your finance goes to the oil rigs to work, you can still make your relationship work. It isn't easy, and can get lonely at times, but if you can look at the big picture of the opportunity this work provides, and try to make the best of things when your partner gets home, it can work. If you and your finance both love each other and are committed to each other, there is no reason to think that you will "lose" him. Look at it as an opportunity to build for your future together..

Jamie - posted on 03/16/2014

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I would would watch a show about oilfield families! In fact, as crazy as my life has been lately as an oilfield wife: I should star in it! My emotions go up and down so frequently. I'm a mom of 3 girls under the age of 11 and now more than ever, I need my husband... He currently lives 4 hours away and we only see him on Saturday and Sunday... I can't take it anymore! I wonder everyday:: is it really worth it?

Ellia - posted on 02/11/2014

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Celeste, in regards to you living 1 hour away from family....I feel your pain. I have moved about 24 hours away. It has put a strain on our relationship no doubt.

Unicornkit_27_14 - posted on 01/29/2014

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I just had a question. My fiance is going to be taking a training course to work on a oil rig in alberta and we want to go together but we know that he will have to get situated first. But afterwards do they send for their sposes or is it hopeless to make this relationship work? Im so scared to lose my fiance and we want to live together is that possible?

Nova-girl26 - posted on 08/15/2013

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I agree 100 % it's not the same as having them home all the time and kids go nuts and feel sad

Brittany - posted on 07/17/2013

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There was always talk of shows like this, even casting calls, when my husband was active military and I don't think it a good idea. I say this as most of the shows will edit any content they can to stir drama and create fake situations, nor is any of it "real". It sounds like a good idea on the surface but a documentary on the lives of oilfield families would probably be a better suggestion as that'll give the actual perspective, not the Real Housewives of whatever shows do.

Carli De - posted on 05/28/2013

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Hello, has been a surprise to see that there is this group, I see that I am not the only one married to a man linked to the oil world, also've been married 16 years with two children July 1 and a 15 both males, causes me some peace know that there are more women with whom to identify in this arduous task of bringing a family with the rate q merits the oil world, my husband works in this area for 16 years, currently with a rotation of 35 days of work and 21 free in house. It is not easy, but always looking for ways to keep us together, we have grown as a family and as individuals, we have taken the low q brings loneliness separation for work and sometimes leads to think if it is right for our lives , but with love and patience we have remained steadfast to the circumstances.

Britnie - posted on 05/12/2013

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Christine, I feel your pain, my husband worked in Africa now in Indonesia, still 30/30 rotation, it is getting harder instead of easier. We have been married 6 months, together 6 years. We are a blended family so that's tough in itself, but he's been doing this job for 15 years now, so I married into it... I knew what I was getting myself into, but it's not easy. I am so lonely, I worked on and off since we have been together, just to pass my time but when he is home he doesn't want me to work and I want to spend every minute with him also, someone needs to come up with an oilfield wife rotation job, 30/30...... LOL..... I'm glad other women are out there with the same issue...

Christine - posted on 04/13/2013

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Absolutely, it is not easy. my husband works 100 miles off the coast of South Africa and he is on the 30/30 rotation. By Week 3, I am soooo lonely, upset, irritable, etc etc.

Chantel - posted on 02/25/2013

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Well Brodie, josh doesnt even have high school education and he's a tool push now. Best thing for your bf to do is find a company and just apply, you don't need a college degree. He will start out as a roughneck but I hope he has thick skin cuz the guys are real assholes to roughnecks. He's just gotta keep doing his own thing and don't pay attention to the bs. If he's a hard worker than things will go good for him. Best of luck to you two

Brodie - posted on 02/24/2013

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Hi...My boyfriend(28) & I (26) of 8 years live in Baton Rouge La in which we have been discussing him wanting to get into the oilrig industry in which Isupport him 100% with his decision. We are also planning to get married once I graduate from Graduate school. The problem is he doesn`t have a college degree and doesn`t know anyone in the field therefore he`s not sure how to go about applying for a position. I wiuld greatly appreciate any helpful information!

User - posted on 02/20/2013

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Chantel, thanks. I devoted my life to kids and certain family members. Well the certain family members have went to heaven, kids are grown still devoted my time to them until last Oct. I chose to do for myself. Now I dont hear from kids. That is ok. I have learned that I have to do what is best for me and hubby stands behind me on it. I had a hysterectomy back in 1997 I gained alot of weight and had alot of health issues from it. I had gastric sleeve surgery in Oct. so now I devote my time to exercise. One thing I have learned is you have to have more than just family in this field. And sometimes friends become family. Now i have got alot more social with other oilfield wives they understand. Even family in that has husbands in the field has not been there. Good luck meeting other wives most of them are awesome friends.

Chantel - posted on 02/20/2013

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That is amazing carol. So many marriages do not last in this industry and when they do its fantastic to hear. It's hard being alone but I've decided to get out and meet other mothers and get active with my life.

User - posted on 02/19/2013

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Chantel, you are right. I was an oilfield brat for 25 years of my life. I turned around and got involved with my oilfield man. We have been together almost 21 years. We will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in April. Yes your dreams and their dreams becomes ours. You stand behind them and what they chose as a career. You have to adjust to things and suck it up alot of times.

Janice - posted on 02/16/2013

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No not easy at all, I am 25 and a mother of 3 girls, when we were pregnant of my first I was only 18 and my husband 19 we decided to get married and beat those statistics of teen pregnancy, my father n law has worked in the oil field for years since my husband was a little boy and I kept hearing how hard it was on him and his brothers and sister to grow up in the oil field life, I wanted something different for our daughter soon to be born but when she arrives the responsibility sunk in, we were barely making ends meet even when both of us worked, so oil field life was our way to something better, now with three girls it is extremely hard, my husband works in wireline and doesn't have a schedule (2 weeks on 2 weeks off) (1mth on 2 weeks off) etc my husband works year round, these past few months I've had two days out of the month with him, yes two days each month, we have a 4 mth old that doesn't even recognize her daddy and it breaks my heart, I miss waking up with him having him near, the few short calls are the most amazing moments and thank god for technology because that way my other girls can facetime and Skype daddy, this summer since our 7 years married we will be taking a full 7 days vacation so you can just imagine how excited I am, I feel like a child with a new toy I think about it and I glow, I couldn't be any more proud and grateful for my hard working husband and I'm proud to be an oilfield wife! So all you oil friend wifes stay strong, we can do this, our husband's deserve our love and support for all the sacrifices they do to give us the life of a princess!

Lisa - posted on 02/15/2013

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Hey Chantel, you're so right on so many levels. My son goes to an elite school, we have a huge house, I do dressage and all that poncey stuff. But I acknowledge the pain and difficulties other women experience (I'm not saying you don't btw). I hope children don't take the rosiness out of things though. It's a tough road when you have to do the kid thing on your own and try and "have a life" also. At least you have sites like this to get support, thank goodness. We oilfield mothers are "cashed up sole parents" - or should I say "soul less parents" because our lives become about keeping order for the kids and hubby and home (who from what I've been reading, too often doesn't appreciate it). Things WILL always go wrong and your children will always get sick when he's away. No matter how well you just try to communicate what's been happening while he's away (and stupidly hope for a pat on the back), we only seem to come across as whiners and whingers. I'm glad for you having your (first?) kid however, best experience of your life.

Chantel - posted on 02/15/2013

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I just joined this thing and I'm sitting here reading some of these posts and how some women say suck it up and some say they can't handle it.... To each their own. I've been working in the oil patch for Christ 6 years myself and my husband another 10. I keep asking myself when will I ever get out of the oil patch mentally and the answer is never. When I look at my life with josh and the fact that he is gone for over a month each time to Texas, 4000 Kms away I wanna cry. Being an oilfieLd girlfriend or wife or whatever you may be is never easy.... It sucks and there's times you feel like you can't do it anymore and it's too painful but then you think of all the sacrifices he had to make for you to have the life you do. I know looking now and being 6 month pregnant with our first child that josh is doing it so our child will have all the things we never had and all the opportunities we never did. If that means I have to get on a shitty little plane for 6 hours than I will because the day I decided he was my soul mate and when I said I do, his dreams and goals became mine and vice versa. So everyone deals with it differently, bottom line is if you love him more than anything than you gotta stand beside him because he does the same for you.

CARLIE - posted on 01/28/2013

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www.facebook.com/AskCarlie
Hi, My name is Carlie, I am a single mom working in the Oil Field as a wireliner. I looking for sapport through my page on facebook. I figured as you are all wives of men working in the patch you would have some understanding of what it takes to work in the field. Please sapport me and my family by "likeing" my page. The oil field isnt all negitive its a stepping stone to a brighter future for my children as a means of work for a single mom! Thanks for checking it out :)

Christal - posted on 01/22/2013

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yeah I agree somewhat. It can be hard at times, but I jsut stay as positive as I can be and hope for the best and try and enjoy my time when he's gone.

Whitney - posted on 01/17/2013

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It's not easy AT ALL. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. And not only is he my boyfriend, but my best friend. He has been working offshore for only 4 months now, and this is some tough stuff for sure. We literally used to do everything and go everywhere together, and what little time we were apart we were still texting, and now it's only a 10 minute phone call a day with just a few texts. Don't get me wrong, I know how blessed we are for him to have this job, but it's nowhere near being easy like so many people think it is. But all in all, I know things will work out because we do love each other to pieces and we are strong. One thing's for sure, I have gained more strength and have become a little more independent these last few months - that's a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, right? :) I'm glad I found this website and I really hope it continues to help me during these long weeks he's away.

Olga - posted on 01/09/2013

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my husband has been in the patch for quite sometime, it doesn't get easier. At times I know he works very hard for us and our family... We sacrifice being apart... most people just know about the money part of it, and think its an easy ride for us as wives. If they only knew

Lisa - posted on 01/07/2013

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I"m an oilfield wife AND a producer .I keep reading suggestions about a TV series. Perhaps we SHOULD make a TV series!!! Who's up to be in it? Lisa (lisal@raconteurfilms.com)

JoAnna - posted on 12/28/2012

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I need help.. We obviously are all independent women .. We have to be to an extent to physically and emotionally handle the load. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. I knew his schedule was hectic, but I stayed with him. He works a 15 on 6 off . I keep myself busy with my job and the kids we have a blended family. But lately it has been bothering me. A few texts a day and a 20 maybe thirty min phone call at night is all I get. I feel almost selfish for wanting more. But damn I miss him. And on the other hand I feel like this is my relationship to, I do everything in my power to meet his needs all I want is that little affection and attention to make up for him being away..:/ any advice??

Crystal - posted on 12/10/2012

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I completely agree, it is no easy task I am a wife to a man in the oilfield and we have four children two 9 and two 7, we are a blended family and it is not all roses like everyone thinks. You spend a lot of time alone and are the head of the household when they are not there from fixing sinks to baking cookies.

Kandy Lynne - posted on 12/09/2012

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I live in TX ive been with my husband 12 yrs. hes worked in the oilfield 5 yrs. now i really dont think you get used to it them being gone so long at a time i get sad the mid way point that i have to go see him for the nite if hes working days that hitch. I love baby i miss you with all my hart till you come to me your oilfield wife.

Rachel - posted on 12/06/2012

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Crystal, I agree to a certain extent. I'm sure the difficulty oilfield wives have with their husbands depends on what they do in the oil field and if they themselves work too. My husband took a lower paying job in the oilfield than what he could have had doing offshore drilling because he knew he'd be home more. I also don't work even though I have a bachelor's degree because I know I'd never see my husband if I did. He's only off one week out of the month and we only have a date night once a month since we have a 4 month old, but we look forward to it every month and cherish those random days his company is not busy. I know my husband works his ass off for our family and I do feel blessed to have him as a husband. I know most men can't do what my husband does and the money he makes is better than what he could ever make starting out even with a college degree.

Ashley - posted on 12/03/2012

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Lucky?! Oh yeah, they are absolutely right! I am sooo lucky! I get to enjoy the boat, cars...house...all by myself!!! I get to wait on his call every single day and if I miss it bc I cant get my phone outta my purse quick enough...I wait some more (sometimes until the next day). We were both in the Marine Corps when we met and saw each other more then (even with 4 years of deployments). I needed something to do with myself besides staying at home. I am now safety in the oilfield with NO days off like his 2 weeks. We have seperate lives now and barely know each other. I hope this is all temporary until we work our way into a lush office (yeah right). He kills himself physically for our two babies and never sees them! Money in the bank but no time to enjoy it with each other. He eats canned tuna everyday and doesnt get lunch breaks (AT ALL)! He comes home to an empty house bc I travel and the kids are in school. Yes, we are extremely lucky. Kari...I have forever thought that we need our own show!!!

Lisa - posted on 11/30/2012

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Men have always gone away to work or war - all through history. And they didn't have washing machines, Skype or huggies.

Monique - posted on 11/30/2012

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HI Ladies!!! I just joined the forum! My hubby works in the Eagle Ford Shale and sometime I wanna pull my hair out! I'm a stay at home mom but my kiddos go to school. What do you other stay at home moms do all day? I can only workout and do laundry and dishes so much!

Amy - posted on 11/29/2012

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I totally agree I have friends that always say I am so lucky because my husband works in the oilfield. I don't know how I am lucky. I don't ever see him my daughter doesn't see him. I don't look even like holidays anymore because he is not around. But I love him and I will stick by him since it is his job. I know he is only doing it to better our family.

Lelia - posted on 11/28/2012

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My husband just started going offshore and though he did work offshore when we first started dating 8 years ago......Now we have a 4 month old son and im lonely

Rachel - posted on 11/25/2012

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4 weeks off! wow that's great=] My husband does wireline and he is 3 weeks on and 1 week off lol but he drills marcellus shale so he is home usually every other day to sleep.

Josephine - posted on 11/11/2012

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WOW!!! Just out of state tears me up but to imagine them out of the country is so scairy!!! Good Luck to you!!!! My ansestors are from Norway!! always wanted to see it!!!

Josephine - posted on 11/11/2012

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Right!!! Escpecially when its 3 am and 4 children are asleep, me being 6 months pregnant, having to carry wood inside, During a blizzard, to keep the house warm!!!! It is very hard!! And the phone just is not enough!!! morning tower by far is the worst for me!!!!!

User - posted on 11/09/2012

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I use to cry every time Hubby walked out that door for work. It has got alot better over the years of course we have been together 21 years, but I still want to cry sometimes.

User - posted on 11/09/2012

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I absolutely agree. Especially with a baby in the house! I found I had to find something to keep me occupied while my husband is gone because I would be sitting here worried about him and getting depressed. I throw my self into my work from home job and taking care of my son so that I don't get so lonely.

Lalena Bte - posted on 11/01/2012

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Hi hi....

Im pretty new to this forum and I am engaged to my 1 year bf..

He's am offshore senior service engineer and he works 4 weeks on, 4 weeks off.

Sometimes its not even 4 weeks off when he gets calls from work. I live in Singapore and him in Norway, im planning to move over to Norway next year, at the moment he spends all his off time here in Singapore or me in Norway. I have two kids from my first marriage. I know he loves me very much cos he always makes an effort to watsapp, call or email ( whichever possible ) me whenever he could, but there are days i feel insecure and upset over NOTHING, most prolly cos i miss him so much and going thru a lot myself here with the kids. This man is my soulmate and my everything, but i get exceptionally sad when he goes and i start crying the night before he leaves... is this normal? or am i being too clingy and all that... please advise me

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