Real Housewives of the Oilfield.....

Britnie - posted on 05/12/2013

Christine, I feel your pain, my husband worked in Africa now in Indonesia, still 30/30 rotation, it is getting harder instead of easier. We have been married 6 months, together 6 years. We are a blended family so that's tough in itself, but he's been doing this job for 15 years now, so I married into it... I knew what I was getting myself into, but it's not easy. I am so lonely, I worked on and off since we have been together, just to pass my time but when he is home he doesn't want me to work and I want to spend every minute with him also, someone needs to come up with an oilfield wife rotation job, 30/30...... LOL..... I'm glad other women are out there with the same issue...

Christine - posted on 04/13/2013

Absolutely, it is not easy. my husband works 100 miles off the coast of South Africa and he is on the 30/30 rotation. By Week 3, I am soooo lonely, upset, irritable, etc etc.

Celeste - posted on 04/05/2013

I am so glad I am came across this page! My husband has worked in the oilfield for 15 years and we have been married 16 years this July. So yes our 1st year anniversary he was gone. We have 2 kids 13 and 7. Having a 6yr gap between them and trying to do things with both of them at this age is challenging when my husband is gone. She wants to go to the mall and movies while my son want to go to Chuck E Cheese's, the Zoo, and other things she does not want to bothered with. We live an hour away from our family for now almost 2years and I am starting to regret our move. :-( We are blessed to have a family that will help out when we need them, but I get tired of driving back and forth. Oh and I work full-time as well, son is in Karate and baseball. Daughter will be starting high school end of this year and plays volleyball and want to try out for basketball. Give me strength!! I can say the GREAT thing is I have a loving and supportive husband who does everything when he's home...cook, clean, wash clothes, pick up kids, and bring them to extracurricular activities. The flip side is everything that can go wrong, goes wrong when he's gone!!

Chantel - posted on 02/25/2013

Well Brodie, josh doesnt even have high school education and he's a tool push now. Best thing for your bf to do is find a company and just apply, you don't need a college degree. He will start out as a roughneck but I hope he has thick skin cuz the guys are real assholes to roughnecks. He's just gotta keep doing his own thing and don't pay attention to the bs. If he's a hard worker than things will go good for him. Best of luck to you two

Brodie - posted on 02/24/2013

Hi...My boyfriend(28) & I (26) of 8 years live in Baton Rouge La in which we have been discussing him wanting to get into the oilrig industry in which Isupport him 100% with his decision. We are also planning to get married once I graduate from Graduate school. The problem is he doesn`t have a college degree and doesn`t know anyone in the field therefore he`s not sure how to go about applying for a position. I wiuld greatly appreciate any helpful information!

Jamie - posted on 02/23/2013

It purely sucks! Im sorry for us all.

Carol - posted on 02/20/2013

Chantel, thanks. I devoted my life to kids and certain family members. Well the certain family members have went to heaven, kids are grown still devoted my time to them until last Oct. I chose to do for myself. Now I dont hear from kids. That is ok. I have learned that I have to do what is best for me and hubby stands behind me on it. I had a hysterectomy back in 1997 I gained alot of weight and had alot of health issues from it. I had gastric sleeve surgery in Oct. so now I devote my time to exercise. One thing I have learned is you have to have more than just family in this field. And sometimes friends become family. Now i have got alot more social with other oilfield wives they understand. Even family in that has husbands in the field has not been there. Good luck meeting other wives most of them are awesome friends.

Chantel - posted on 02/20/2013

That is amazing carol. So many marriages do not last in this industry and when they do its fantastic to hear. It's hard being alone but I've decided to get out and meet other mothers and get active with my life.

Carol - posted on 02/19/2013

Chantel, you are right. I was an oilfield brat for 25 years of my life. I turned around and got involved with my oilfield man. We have been together almost 21 years. We will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary in April. Yes your dreams and their dreams becomes ours. You stand behind them and what they chose as a career. You have to adjust to things and suck it up alot of times.

Janice - posted on 02/16/2013

No not easy at all, I am 25 and a mother of 3 girls, when we were pregnant of my first I was only 18 and my husband 19 we decided to get married and beat those statistics of teen pregnancy, my father n law has worked in the oil field for years since my husband was a little boy and I kept hearing how hard it was on him and his brothers and sister to grow up in the oil field life, I wanted something different for our daughter soon to be born but when she arrives the responsibility sunk in, we were barely making ends meet even when both of us worked, so oil field life was our way to something better, now with three girls it is extremely hard, my husband works in wireline and doesn't have a schedule (2 weeks on 2 weeks off) (1mth on 2 weeks off) etc my husband works year round, these past few months I've had two days out of the month with him, yes two days each month, we have a 4 mth old that doesn't even recognize her daddy and it breaks my heart, I miss waking up with him having him near, the few short calls are the most amazing moments and thank god for technology because that way my other girls can facetime and Skype daddy, this summer since our 7 years married we will be taking a full 7 days vacation so you can just imagine how excited I am, I feel like a child with a new toy I think about it and I glow, I couldn't be any more proud and grateful for my hard working husband and I'm proud to be an oilfield wife! So all you oil friend wifes stay strong, we can do this, our husband's deserve our love and support for all the sacrifices they do to give us the life of a princess!

Lisa - posted on 02/15/2013

Hey Chantel, you're so right on so many levels. My son goes to an elite school, we have a huge house, I do dressage and all that poncey stuff. But I acknowledge the pain and difficulties other women experience (I'm not saying you don't btw). I hope children don't take the rosiness out of things though. It's a tough road when you have to do the kid thing on your own and try and "have a life" also. At least you have sites like this to get support, thank goodness. We oilfield mothers are "cashed up sole parents" - or should I say "soul less parents" because our lives become about keeping order for the kids and hubby and home (who from what I've been reading, too often doesn't appreciate it). Things WILL always go wrong and your children will always get sick when he's away. No matter how well you just try to communicate what's been happening while he's away (and stupidly hope for a pat on the back), we only seem to come across as whiners and whingers. I'm glad for you having your (first?) kid however, best experience of your life.

Chantel - posted on 02/15/2013

I just joined this thing and I'm sitting here reading some of these posts and how some women say suck it up and some say they can't handle it.... To each their own. I've been working in the oil patch for Christ 6 years myself and my husband another 10. I keep asking myself when will I ever get out of the oil patch mentally and the answer is never. When I look at my life with josh and the fact that he is gone for over a month each time to Texas, 4000 Kms away I wanna cry. Being an oilfieLd girlfriend or wife or whatever you may be is never easy.... It sucks and there's times you feel like you can't do it anymore and it's too painful but then you think of all the sacrifices he had to make for you to have the life you do. I know looking now and being 6 month pregnant with our first child that josh is doing it so our child will have all the things we never had and all the opportunities we never did. If that means I have to get on a shitty little plane for 6 hours than I will because the day I decided he was my soul mate and when I said I do, his dreams and goals became mine and vice versa. So everyone deals with it differently, bottom line is if you love him more than anything than you gotta stand beside him because he does the same for you.

CARLIE - posted on 01/28/2013

www.facebook.com/AskCarlie
Hi, My name is Carlie, I am a single mom working in the Oil Field as a wireliner. I looking for sapport through my page on facebook. I figured as you are all wives of men working in the patch you would have some understanding of what it takes to work in the field. Please sapport me and my family by "likeing" my page. The oil field isnt all negitive its a stepping stone to a brighter future for my children as a means of work for a single mom! Thanks for checking it out :)

Christal - posted on 01/22/2013

yeah I agree somewhat. It can be hard at times, but I jsut stay as positive as I can be and hope for the best and try and enjoy my time when he's gone.

Whitney - posted on 01/17/2013

It's not easy AT ALL. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. And not only is he my boyfriend, but my best friend. He has been working offshore for only 4 months now, and this is some tough stuff for sure. We literally used to do everything and go everywhere together, and what little time we were apart we were still texting, and now it's only a 10 minute phone call a day with just a few texts. Don't get me wrong, I know how blessed we are for him to have this job, but it's nowhere near being easy like so many people think it is. But all in all, I know things will work out because we do love each other to pieces and we are strong. One thing's for sure, I have gained more strength and have become a little more independent these last few months - that's a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel, right? :) I'm glad I found this website and I really hope it continues to help me during these long weeks he's away.

Laura - posted on 01/09/2013

My bf works on the oilfield and he told me about this....
http://www.chron.com/business/article/Oi...

Olga - posted on 01/09/2013

my husband has been in the patch for quite sometime, it doesn't get easier. At times I know he works very hard for us and our family... We sacrifice being apart... most people just know about the money part of it, and think its an easy ride for us as wives. If they only knew

Brandi - posted on 01/07/2013

Great idea!

Lisa - posted on 01/07/2013

I"m an oilfield wife AND a producer .I keep reading suggestions about a TV series. Perhaps we SHOULD make a TV series!!! Who's up to be in it? Lisa (lisal@raconteurfilms.com)

RAQUEL - posted on 01/06/2013

I agree.

JoAnna - posted on 12/28/2012

I need help.. We obviously are all independent women .. We have to be to an extent to physically and emotionally handle the load. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. I knew his schedule was hectic, but I stayed with him. He works a 15 on 6 off . I keep myself busy with my job and the kids we have a blended family. But lately it has been bothering me. A few texts a day and a 20 maybe thirty min phone call at night is all I get. I feel almost selfish for wanting more. But damn I miss him. And on the other hand I feel like this is my relationship to, I do everything in my power to meet his needs all I want is that little affection and attention to make up for him being away..:/ any advice??

Crystal - posted on 12/10/2012

I completely agree, it is no easy task I am a wife to a man in the oilfield and we have four children two 9 and two 7, we are a blended family and it is not all roses like everyone thinks. You spend a lot of time alone and are the head of the household when they are not there from fixing sinks to baking cookies.

Kandy Lynne - posted on 12/09/2012

I live in TX ive been with my husband 12 yrs. hes worked in the oilfield 5 yrs. now i really dont think you get used to it them being gone so long at a time i get sad the mid way point that i have to go see him for the nite if hes working days that hitch. I love baby i miss you with all my hart till you come to me your oilfield wife.

Rachel - posted on 12/06/2012

Crystal, I agree to a certain extent. I'm sure the difficulty oilfield wives have with their husbands depends on what they do in the oil field and if they themselves work too. My husband took a lower paying job in the oilfield than what he could have had doing offshore drilling because he knew he'd be home more. I also don't work even though I have a bachelor's degree because I know I'd never see my husband if I did. He's only off one week out of the month and we only have a date night once a month since we have a 4 month old, but we look forward to it every month and cherish those random days his company is not busy. I know my husband works his ass off for our family and I do feel blessed to have him as a husband. I know most men can't do what my husband does and the money he makes is better than what he could ever make starting out even with a college degree.

Crystal - posted on 12/03/2012

I grew up with a father in the oil field and now my husband is in the business. I've been a single mom for many years before we got together. Together 10yrs married 5yrs. It is most definitely harder to be a single mother than an oil field wife. As a single mom you have a sucky income and no one to really share your life with. Everyone talking about the dads missing moments, they would still miss them if they had a local job. You think boss is gonna let him off work to see your child's first steps. Yes the money is good. But your husband is out there busting his butt in one of the toughest industries to support you and the kids. Everyone saying you don't have time to relax from being a mom/wife to be a lover!!! Think date nights! While the kids are away the adults will play!! That doesn't mean the entire time he's in just a day here a night there. Your relationship is only going to work if you work at it. Keep thinking and acting negative and you'll soon find yourself a single mom!!!

Ashley - posted on 12/03/2012

Lucky?! Oh yeah, they are absolutely right! I am sooo lucky! I get to enjoy the boat, cars...house...all by myself!!! I get to wait on his call every single day and if I miss it bc I cant get my phone outta my purse quick enough...I wait some more (sometimes until the next day). We were both in the Marine Corps when we met and saw each other more then (even with 4 years of deployments). I needed something to do with myself besides staying at home. I am now safety in the oilfield with NO days off like his 2 weeks. We have seperate lives now and barely know each other. I hope this is all temporary until we work our way into a lush office (yeah right). He kills himself physically for our two babies and never sees them! Money in the bank but no time to enjoy it with each other. He eats canned tuna everyday and doesnt get lunch breaks (AT ALL)! He comes home to an empty house bc I travel and the kids are in school. Yes, we are extremely lucky. Kari...I have forever thought that we need our own show!!!

Lisa - posted on 11/30/2012

Men have always gone away to work or war - all through history. And they didn't have washing machines, Skype or huggies.

Monique - posted on 11/30/2012

HI Ladies!!! I just joined the forum! My hubby works in the Eagle Ford Shale and sometime I wanna pull my hair out! I'm a stay at home mom but my kiddos go to school. What do you other stay at home moms do all day? I can only workout and do laundry and dishes so much!

Amy - posted on 11/29/2012

I totally agree I have friends that always say I am so lucky because my husband works in the oilfield. I don't know how I am lucky. I don't ever see him my daughter doesn't see him. I don't look even like holidays anymore because he is not around. But I love him and I will stick by him since it is his job. I know he is only doing it to better our family.

Lelia - posted on 11/28/2012

My husband just started going offshore and though he did work offshore when we first started dating 8 years ago......Now we have a 4 month old son and im lonely

Rachel - posted on 11/25/2012

4 weeks off! wow that's great=] My husband does wireline and he is 3 weeks on and 1 week off lol but he drills marcellus shale so he is home usually every other day to sleep.

Lisa - posted on 11/13/2012

oh my dear. i pray for you through this. xxx

Lisa - posted on 11/13/2012

I'm sick and tired of the offshore angry man.

Josephine - posted on 11/11/2012

WOW!!! Just out of state tears me up but to imagine them out of the country is so scairy!!! Good Luck to you!!!! My ansestors are from Norway!! always wanted to see it!!!

Josephine - posted on 11/11/2012

Right!!! Escpecially when its 3 am and 4 children are asleep, me being 6 months pregnant, having to carry wood inside, During a blizzard, to keep the house warm!!!! It is very hard!! And the phone just is not enough!!! morning tower by far is the worst for me!!!!!

Carol - posted on 11/09/2012

I use to cry every time Hubby walked out that door for work. It has got alot better over the years of course we have been together 21 years, but I still want to cry sometimes.

Larissa - posted on 11/09/2012

I absolutely agree. Especially with a baby in the house! I found I had to find something to keep me occupied while my husband is gone because I would be sitting here worried about him and getting depressed. I throw my self into my work from home job and taking care of my son so that I don't get so lonely.

Nicki - posted on 11/02/2012

that's North Dakota

Lalena Bte - posted on 11/01/2012

Hi hi....

Im pretty new to this forum and I am engaged to my 1 year bf..

He's am offshore senior service engineer and he works 4 weeks on, 4 weeks off.

Sometimes its not even 4 weeks off when he gets calls from work. I live in Singapore and him in Norway, im planning to move over to Norway next year, at the moment he spends all his off time here in Singapore or me in Norway. I have two kids from my first marriage. I know he loves me very much cos he always makes an effort to watsapp, call or email ( whichever possible ) me whenever he could, but there are days i feel insecure and upset over NOTHING, most prolly cos i miss him so much and going thru a lot myself here with the kids. This man is my soulmate and my everything, but i get exceptionally sad when he goes and i start crying the night before he leaves... is this normal? or am i being too clingy and all that... please advise me

Carol - posted on 10/25/2012

Mariah N Maury, our baby girl told me here a couple of months ago that I was one of the strongest independent woman she knows. LOL. I grew up in this lifestyle so I guess that is what made me that way. I wouldn't change my life for anything

David - posted on 10/25/2012

Its just as hard on us too, we are the ones who have to leave and be gone, don't get to stay in our own bed, don't have the kids to hug....have to share a shower with 30 other nasty dudes,

Denise - posted on 10/09/2012

He must be working with mine :) Lucky us...

Denise - posted on 10/09/2012

I agree! Enough said! It is a nightmare!

Jennifer - posted on 10/08/2012

Hi all

New to the forum. My husband and I have been married for about 2 1/2 years and he has been in the rig biz for about a year now. Before this he was a lineman with the railroad which kept him away for about 5 weeks at a time. Now he is 2 weeks on/2 weeks off. We have a 15 yr old, a 14 month old, and I am due again in 6 weeks. Me and the kids live in Eastern MO while he works in Western KS. He wants me and the kids to uproot and move to OK to be closer to him. That would mean quitting my job and moving 9 hrs away from my supportive family. Plus I promised my 15 yr old we wouldn't move until she finished high school. He is acting like I am being selfish. I am so stressed by constantly being alone with the kids and running a household and working full-time and now he wants me to move out to the middle of nowhere and do it all alone with no help or support what so ever. I am on the verge of not being able to take it anymore. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks ladies!

User - posted on 10/08/2012

I agree! I always make the joke about the "Offshore wives" too. It's a strange life other friends don't understand. That is why I found this circle. It's not easy by any means. I am here because I couldn't find anyone who does it who is not divorced. I would like advice and community to help me support him rather than leave him. Trust me, I think only independent women are even willing to live this life. Sometimes leaving almost seems easier. But we are truly in love, and we are best friends, and I want to do what I can. Yet, some days I am not so strong. It's been 5 years and sometimes I feel it's actually getting harder instead of easier- like today.

Carol - posted on 10/04/2012

Amen !!! I agree it is not always an easy life.

Amber - posted on 10/04/2012

Meg, Mine is lacking in the emotional part also, but I'm starting to think it's just the effects of being around the guys for so long. They've got their own support network and what works to ease their minds and it's a whole lot different than what we'd have. It makes sense for that mindset to stick when they're home because they spend so much time with them and very little with us. My fiance changed completely in a little less than a year because of the environment his work threw him into. I'm trying to put myself in his shoes, but sometimes it's hard to remove yourself from a situation. I am also stuck in a town I'd rather not be in. I guess it boils down to how much you love him and how hard are you willing to fight to make things right for both of you. there's always a compromise.. the hard part is finding the right one

Amber - posted on 10/04/2012

My fiance and I are getting married in a few weeks. We moved to a new state together and he eventually got an oilfield job. Not a rig job, but he's gone a whole lot also. There actually is no set schedule like a rig would have so I have absolutely no idea when I'll se him sometimes. I love this man.. I've crushed over him since I was a little girl.. took me a long time to finally get him and I really hate myself for feeling so alone and doubtful. I do get to see him multiple times in a week, but most of that is him getting home at off hours and heading straight in for a shower and then to bed. We have better conversations on the phone than we do when we're right in front of each other. Sometimes I just sort of feel like a live in nanny than a soon to be wife. maybe it's just the stress of a new life, a new state, and more responsibilities. All he seems to have time for or make time for is work, sleep, and his movies when he does have down time at home. I'm not trying to complain, I just want to reach out and figure out if this is all in my head or if other women have felt the way I do. some tips from seasoned oilfield wives would be great also. I don't want to show the impression that I'm ready to give up. You're a strong group of women, I need a little practice.

Rizana - posted on 10/04/2012

i love my husband very much but it seem lyk he has that don't care attitude all he cares about is bing on the fone and the laptop, we dont see each other the hole day n wen he comes from work at 6 he gose to gym and dose not even spend time with him or even weekend and we fyt all da tym,i just want 2 know how do i get him 2 change,can some one tell me how to handle this.

Leslie - posted on 10/03/2012

It's super hard on the whole family. Drinking and other vices zoom out of control because of the stress of the job and being away from wives and kids, which leads to other potential problems. Adultery, the fear that he is committing adultery, and the separate feeling of your husband having a life that you have no part of, and no connection to, is MORE hurt and stress than it's worth. It sucks and I can't take it anymore. This is NO life,