Yvonne - posted on 11/11/2008 ( 18 moms have responded )
its not the method id choose to go about it. lol. i kinda cracked under all the pressure. anyone ever go though this? i just couldnt do it all on my own anymore. it was all just too much. he changed company locations and took a smaller rig. he'll be gone but not every day but 4-7 a month. i have an almost 2 & 3 year old with no family support and im a stay at home mom. in 3 years i had never had 1 afternoon to myself. when he took the job we thought he'd be out of state/area a week a month. but soon it was every day. 3 years and 2 kids later i felt like a single mom who happen to be able to stay home.
i went though my pregnancy with my son without him. i was on bedrest for almost 3 months, had pre-e, went into early labor, had my daughter who couldnt walk yet, i had kidney stones, one blew out my kidney and i had to go under to get a stint, was on pain killers, and had to go to the dr every 2 weeks. and had no support. maybe thats when it all started being too much. but 2 years later i was literally pulling out my hair. sounds mental right? but i twirl my hair, when stressed i guess. i was exausted all day and he loved his job. the respect, responsibility, the return customers just because of him, etc.
the original job lead to opportunities, he moved up fast. he's 25 and a pusher. made enough money that we could live comfortably but to me it wasnt worth it. after i had the brake down he took a 1/3 pay cut. we're making it work and even though i only see him in the late evenings its way better then never. of course there are drawbacks. he's used to hotel rooms being cleaned daily and perfect, and eating out, and such. so not me. lmao. that will take some time to figure out.
i just feel completely guilty that he had to change locations because i couldnt handle it all. but i couldnt. kids arent hard. its not labor work like his job. heck im on the computer right now! but over time the stress of them just became too much. is there anyone else who has been though this? i just dont want him to resent me for all this.