How do you feel about spanking?

[deleted account] ( 30 moms have responded )

Some mothers are for it, other's have their opinions against it. How do you feel about it???

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Sara - posted on 05/03/2010

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I was spanked all the way through high school....actually was given the option of spanking or grounding....I picked spanking to "get my lesson over"

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Sheila - posted on 07/09/2014

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Hi Angela

I did not tell my mother about the spanking as Mum had just got a cane and had already had my first 4 strokes on my bare bottom. Subsequent canings were 6 to 8 strokes and I got it about 4 times a year.
The stripes still showed when the teacher gave me the spanking and she did remark on them.
Mum started caning me from 10.
I think most of the girls I knew who had the cane started having it at 11.

Angela - posted on 07/08/2014

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I think that to spank or slap on the bottom (either bare or with knickers on) is an affront to a teenager's dignity to be honest.

QUOTE: "I was also smacked on my bare bottom in front of the class in my junior school by a female teacher."

I'm appalled that a schoolteacher did this to you in front of a class. I don't know your age (I'm 56) and I don't know what country you're from (I'm British). But even 50 years ago when I was small, this would not have been tolerated in a British school. I know that private (fee-paying schools) have different rules - when giving physical punishment to school kids in state schools was outlawed a few years ago, for some reason it was still OK in private schools. Strangely enough though, when it WAS still legal in State schools, the private school I happened to go to didn't do it anyway!

I was a child in the 1960's and a teenager in the 1970's and back then not everyone had a phone at home so schools couldn't always contact the parents when there were concerns. I was sent home once because my shoes were "red" and breached school uniform rules (they were actually black but the pattern of the leather had reddish patches on - they were actually quite sensible shoes but the school were being petty - my mother thought this too). We also felt that they were pushing their luck sending me home because I only lived 20 minutes walk from the school. Another girl had bright blue shoes on but because she lived a far greater distance away she was allowed to remain at the school wearing her blue shoes!

As much as I disagree with corporal punishment (particularly in schools) I believe that there are a million ways a schoolteacher can make a kid miserable without having to spank or slap them. I've seen it and although I was mostly OK I can remember other kids who had a miserable time because of school teachers who were drunk with power.

Sheila - posted on 07/08/2014

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Hi Angela

Where I am it is still legal to smack using your hand but not a cane.
Fortunately I don't have to smack my daughters often now.
My older daughter was smacked on the bottom by a boy on the street about 2 years ago and was clearly upset
She was walking in front of me.
She did not know the boy but I did.
We went to see his parents and they assured us he would be dealt with.
He has not smacked my daughters bottom again.

My daughters do take a spanking from me as they know it is genuine punishment.
They do get in position to be smacked.
My younger daughter has said she is too big to go over my knee and has suggested she bends over if she needs smacking again.
We haver organised a chair for this.
I know a mother who says her daughter bends over and touches her toes when she is smacked but I don't think that is safe.

Sheila - posted on 07/07/2014

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Hi Angela

The one time I had the cane was for throwing a ball about in school. 2 other girls got it as well and the other time was for smoking with another girl.
We were sent to the headmistress. It was a Friday on both occasions and our mother's were phoned and they were there when school ended.
I was the first to be caned on both occasions.
The gym mistress did the caning and we had to take our skirts off and on both occasions I along with the other girls got 6 strokes.
Mum did not have much sympathy. She said if I had been at home I would have been caned on the bare.
I was told caning on the hand was discontinued at that school a few years before.
I was also smacked on my bare bottom in front of the class in my junior school by a female teacher.
She did the same to 2 boys that day.
As far as I am aware the headmistress had to authorise canings and she witnessed them.
I think she got the gym mistress to do it as she was very fit and caned extremely hard.

Angela - posted on 07/07/2014

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Sheila, I would never bear malice towards a teacher that caned me but no-one ever did. I was slapped on the legs once or twice in infants school aged about 6. I never went to the type of schools where caning was practised - I went to 2 all girls schools when I was High School age and neither had corporal punishment.

My friend got the cane at her school apparently for speaking out of turn (nothing cheeky or rude, just piping up with some comment that maybe the teacher wanted to say himself). He caned her quite severely after the lesson. She went straight to her GP's surgery after school and showed her doctor the marks - the doctor said it was disgraceful. Then she launched a formal complaint at the school where there was a policy of girls needing the cane to have it administered by a female teacher - boys were caned by a male teacher. The teacher got into trouble. My friend didn't consult with her parents over this, she went to the doctor independently and also made the complaint independently. She was about 12 at the time. Her parents heard about it afterwards and respected that their daughter had spoken up for herself.

I'm quite shocked that some people's kids are docile enough to simply receive the punishment and just move on from it. I'm also shocked that everyone was up in arms because a teacher sealed children's lips with sticky tape during a lesson recently in a UK school.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-...

On the one hand you have kids who won't stick up for themselves when they could probably get their parents prosecuted. What kind of adults will they be? Victims who accept any kind of treatment and never defend or speak up for themselves?

On the other hand there are kids who were "terrified" simply because a bit of sticky tape got put over their mouths by a school teacher - what kind of babyish "softies" are THESE kids? To say nothing of their parents who have stated "I was furious ....."

Thankfully there must be lots of children and teenagers who fall somewhere in-between these 2 extremes.

Sheila - posted on 07/07/2014

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Hi Angela

I think your father must have beaten you very severely for that to have got to court.
I was born in 1970 and I finished secondary school in 1986 the year caning stopped.
I got 6 strokes of the cane on my bottom in 1985 at school for smoking and I did not smoke again.
I know the caning was recorded in the punishment book.
It was a school with nearly 1000 girls and I was told 3% of the girls were caned at some point but some like me got it twice.
I would have stayed on in to the 6th form but the school did not do the combination of subjects I wanted to do so I went to the local college.
I don't bear any malice to the teacher who caned me. She is the grandmother of my eldest daughters boyfriend. I will not discourage her from going out with him.

Angela - posted on 07/06/2014

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Well Sheila, you do have the kids who'll weigh up for themselves that it might be "worth" the punishment to stay out a little later once in a while!

When it was outlawed in schools in the UK, years ago, there were a few "tough lads" who would far rather have had the cane or the strap (painful but quickly over with) than 30 minutes or more in detention learning French verbs or writing out lines!

I took my own father to Court for beating me at the age of 17. My wounds and weals were photographed by the Police. He was more bothered about his name in the local paper than the fine he had to pay! Today, 39 years on, my siblings are still grateful to me. I didn't even know I could do this until about 6 months before I DID do it!

Today's kids are more streetwise and know their rights. All of you "pro-spankers" don't be shocked if any of your kids take legal action against you. Doesn't matter if you're wealthy or dirt-poor, anyone can find themselves on the wrong side of the Law over stuff like this.

Sheila - posted on 07/06/2014

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Hi Angela

I think midnight at weekends is plenty late enough for a 16 year old girl to be out.
My daughter knows the punishment she will get for coming in after curfew time and that is a bare bottom spanking and the number of smacks is double her age.

Angela - posted on 07/06/2014

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I'm against spanking/smacking (call it anything you like but it's still "hitting" someone to punish them or make them comply - striking them in order to inflict pain).

Bare backside smacking is worse still. For anyone over the age of about 6 it's hurting their dignity as well as their flesh. Child Protection authorities are very much against it and it's against the Law in many countries. To physically strike an adolescent (especially on the bare backside) isn't just brutal, it's perverted. Anyone doing this should never imagine that because their kids are "spanked" with "justification" that those same kids will never speak out to the authorities. Even the ones who are docile enough to allow it! Trust me, hitting a teenager on the bare butt doesn't even have to be very hard or painful or leave a mark for you to find yourself in SERIOUS trouble with the Child Protection authorities.

Not so long ago, it was :OK" for men to hit their wives. We've moved on since those days. Some day in the future we'll realise that it's also primitive & uncivilised to hit children.

It's a lot faster to strike someone to address some problem than to try other methods of punishment, correction or discipline. So it's basically a sign of lazy parenting. I agree that if anyone DOES resort to smacking or spanking their kids then at least they should not do so in anger. However, parents that spank in this fashion are the exception rather than the rule. I know of decent, sensible people who have gone "too far" in the physical discipline of children - it's very easy to do this. Best way to avoid this scenario is not to spank in the first place.

Show you RESPECT your children.

Sheila - posted on 07/06/2014

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Some of the mothers around me have smacked their children up to 17.

My 2 daughters get smacked occasionally bare bottom and they are now 16 and 18.
My youngest daughter who is taller than the old one said she felt as if she could have fell the last time she was over my knee and asked if she could bend over in future.
I have agreed to this.
We have got a chair and I checked today if her bottom would be at the right angle to smack between the top of the leg and bottom where it is more sensitive.
Both of them bent over with their knickers down and the angle was perfect.

[deleted account]

I came on here to get support from other Moms. It seems that most of the people, which includes family and friends, don't care much for my ideas of raising children. My husband and I have two children, 8 year old girl and 6 year old boy plus we are guardians to his 11 year old niece who has been with us for 3 years now. I do spank the kids and on the bare bottom. I feel it works and they are really good kids. The niece had trouble with it at first but she is now in line. I don't plan on spanking them after age 14 or 15 but we'll see when the time comes. Hopefully, I won't have to and they'll stay out of trouble. Thanks.

PS: I was unable to post a new topic.

Anna - posted on 11/15/2011

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In my house, I feel spanking works as a last resort and never out of angry either. I always give them fair warning ahead of time if they choose to ignore it then Mommys paddle comes out..

Robyn - posted on 08/26/2011

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I spank my children. When they need it. It is not the only form of discipline my husband and I use, but sometimes a good swat on the bottom is needed. I don't believe in using objects to spank with, as in belts/paddles. No judgement here though. Only you know what works for your child, as long as it doesn't carry over into abuse.

Ruth - posted on 03/04/2011

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you are so right, sara! especially in teenage years spanking is important to maintain discipline!

[deleted account]

I was spanked as long as my parents were supporting me. It was used along with groundings but really the bare bottom spanking was lesson enough to get the point across. If firm discipline is not given early and consistently then really there is no discipline provided. When kids are given the impression they are beyond the age of discipline then the parent had abducated the role of parent and that control is lost forever.

[deleted account]

If I had given that option even when I was 15 or 16 I would have chosen a spanking any time! But propably that is why I never got to choose.

[deleted account]

I did spank my older girl a while ago, but it is getting more difficult since she is a young lady now at least by outer appearance. So I don't know how long I will continue. What do you think is the right age to stop?

Michelle - posted on 05/03/2010

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Hi Gerta, do you spank both of your daughters? Or do you believe that your oldest is now too old to spank?

[deleted account]

I very much agree with Sara. However politically incorrect spanking may be these days, I am convinced that it is a good method of disciplining a child between the ages of 3 and 12. I have been on both sides. It worked for me, and it worked for my girls as well, even though none of us enjoyed having a sore bottom.

Sara - posted on 04/19/2010

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I was spanked growing up and feel it is a very effective tool. I will spank as well. One thing I notice with many parents/kids these days is there is no fear/respect from the kid to the parent. Parents allow themselves to be suckered in to trying to be best friends and such and fear what the public would say regarding putting their hands on their own kids. There should be no issue with a responsible parent turning the backside of an unruly child a nice shade of red.

User - posted on 10/05/2009

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I am for spanking-- but do not believe that it is the solution to everything. We spank our daughter for dangerous things-- like she keeps reaching for electric outlets. I will "spank" or smack her hand. Same thing when she repeatedly tries to go for a danger item- something hot. But we use other methods of discipline s well.. she will have time outs I take toys away. Ironically my daughter doesnot get told no often- Only when she is disobeying.. and we don't yell... We use no in its proper place so when we sya no ma'am she knows she needs to acknowledge us. Normally just saying no ma'am will makeher stop and she will cry and come give us a kiss... It breaks her lil heart to be in trouble.

Samantha - posted on 09/13/2009

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I believe spanking has it's place! But only if done with restraint! I only spank my child on her bottom and not hard enough to leave a mark, just to make a noise and mainly give her a fright. There are time when I do hit too hard and feel awful afterwards, but it's rarely happens.

I use the "time out" system as well and believe it works very well

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