Spanking, age and style

Emma - posted on 01/26/2011 ( 109 moms have responded )

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So does anyone spank? What age is "ok" to start? What's better using your hand or a paddle or something else? What age is too old for it? Do you have any special way or routine for it?

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Julia - posted on 02/21/2011

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hand to start with graduating to paddle, strap, cane etc as they get older. No age is too old.
Julia

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2014

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how long do you give them a spanking with the cane and how many times? do take the kids over your knees then?

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2014

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yes, i agree with you! age may differ but after twelve youngsters deserve a real good spanking taking them over the knees and giving them a heavy hand spanking first to warm up the bare bottom to be continued by a wooden cooking spoon or a hair brush or paddle for some ten minutes. this really works fantastic!

Ruth - posted on 03/04/2011

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i started with hand, but now, for teenagers i use the cane with good results...certainly on the bare

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Michelle_williams - posted on 07/18/2016

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That is so true Colleen. A spanking must hurt to be effective and that means howling and kicking and begging to stop.

I also spank the thighs and sit spots as these are more tender and there is increased vocalisation.

I also place the child in the corner for 10-15 minutes to think about what they have done and to contemplate their spanking. Also if I'm caning I will swish in the air a few times so the naughty girl knows what's coming before putting her in position, bared and then administering the necessary punishment.

Michelle_williams - posted on 07/18/2016

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I also use the cane Neha. My girl is nearly 8. Do you bare their bottoms or do you cane across their knickers?

Theresa - posted on 07/17/2016

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hi Neha my names Theresa ihave a son Michael whos six.when his naughty I spank him.

Sarah - posted on 07/04/2016

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This is very hard to believe. Your adult child texted you and asked you to spank him? Really? If you were to walk up to an adult and punch him in the gut, it would be assault; whether he had clothing on or not. What makes you think it is ok to hit another adult under any circumstance. You had 8 kids and you can't figure this out?

Sarah - posted on 07/04/2016

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He stomps his feet? At 22? Seriously? Striking another adult is assault, whether or not you are related.

Kate - posted on 06/21/2016

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A bit of a red bottomed dance after let's you know that the spanking was quite effective.

Michelle_williams - posted on 06/16/2016

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I agree entirely Colleen. We also bare the bottom and strap or brush it until the bottom is bright red and the child is howling. It is MOST effective. I just have to ask them if they want to go get mummy's hairbrush for an instant change to their behaviour

Colleen - posted on 06/13/2016

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Kathy,

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job raising your kids to be responsible for their behavior. Kids need lots of love and the occasional meeting with the backside of a wooden hairbrush... on the bare!

My husband and I started spanking early, but it was always with our hand, and age appropriate. Once the kids turned 4, we introduced their bare bottoms to the wooden cooking spoon. The wooden spoon proved to do wonders! It not only changed their behavior lickety-split, it also helped get their lungs ready for singing lessons ;). When the kids turned 8, we upgraded their spankings to the backside of my wooden hairbrush, and again the vocal responses to the spankings went up a few octaves.

Spankings don't work if they don't hurt, so we make sure that they do. There is nothing wrong if a child kicks and screams during their bare bottom spanking. That's what is supposed to happen.

Colleen

Kathy - posted on 06/13/2016

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I started when my kids turned 4. My oldest is almost 12, and I guess I figure out what "too old" is when we get there. I haven't found an age yet that's too old to spank.

As for how, I start by removing pants and underwear, then the child stands in front of me and gets a lecture, bottomless. Then it's over my knee (or diaper position on the bed for my oldest). Spanking is with my hand and a ping-pong paddle.

Dan - posted on 05/08/2016

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Over the years we have found that the hairbrush and the strap are most effective starting around age 7 for both. Prior to age 7, a thin ruler or little piece of leather belt are effective especially when the legs are up in the diaper position.

The diaper position increases the spanking area since it enables the spanks to be applied not only to the hiney but also to the backs of the thighs.

Ev - posted on 04/17/2016

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I read the group name for this place and it says Mom's 4 Discipline and all it is about is spanking. There are other options to that. When kids are old enough to understand what is being said and what they need to do, other options are better. When they are older then you can make punishments or consequences to go with what they are doing. This bare bottom and stripping naked and exposing the red bumm for all to see is only making it worse when the spanking is enough.

And teens are too old to spank.

Katy - posted on 04/17/2016

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my daughter thinks at 13 she grown up and too old for spanking , but with her attitude is proved wrong

Michelle_williams - posted on 04/13/2016

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it's never too late. Bare her or strip her if she's very naughty and then apply a brush or stra p until she is howling and crying. Treat the first cries as the beginning of the spanking and roast that bottom. Then 15-30 minutes in the corner, bottom on display and you will have a good girl.

Repeat as and when required.

Katy - posted on 03/26/2016

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i am similar with my daughter , i tell her to go to her room and wait for me i give it 10 minutes , and i cn imagine her thoughts as she hears me climb the stairs brush in hand

Katy - posted on 03/12/2016

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i really wished i had started earlier it give more stability in their lives

Julie - posted on 03/06/2016

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at our home we started use spanking when the children were 3 and not weared diapers anymore in daytime our style is that they are send to there room while we calm down and disscuss if a spanking is neeed if we decide so we decide who will go and administer the spanking and when the parents enter the room he or she sits on the childs bed with the child on the lap or in front of the parent then they are told what they did and why that is wrong and that because of this they will get a spanking then it is over the lap for the spanking we give either age or double age in smacks depend on what they done when the spanking is over we hug while the child cries and tell them we love them alot

Anthony - posted on 03/05/2016

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I wish my mother had spanked me when aged about 7 for utter laziness

Michelle_williams - posted on 02/28/2016

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Having your knickers or underpants taken down is hard and also embarrassing. But that is why a traditional spanking is so effective.

Michelle_williams - posted on 02/28/2016

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I spank both my children A boy aged 6 and girl aged 7. The spanking takes place in my bedroom and I undress them, either from the waist down or completely.

Usually they bend over my knee and receive either the brush or strap until the bottom is a bright red and lots of tears. Occasionally I use the diaper position, especially with the brush.

We give 15 minutes corner time, with the bottom still bared, so they can reflect on their behaviour before all is forgiven.

Olivia - posted on 02/17/2016

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I do spank my daughter. She is 2. I almost always use my hand to spank her bare bottom, but I have used some implements (but only when she does something really bad).

Ashley - posted on 02/12/2016

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If all other punishments don't work, then you can spank. But only do it for kids like 5-10. Only with your hand.

Laura - posted on 01/25/2016

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My son is 11 and I spank him as needed.

As far as age, I think you can start introducing them to the word "spank" and maybe give them a mild swat on the rear or back of the thighs as early as 2-3. Wait until 4 or 5 to start the more formal, bare-bottom, over the lap spankings. That's about when I started spanking my son. I think that spankings are particularly well suited for school-age children (K-6) and can continue to be useful for tweens and teens (particularly early teens).

I like to use my hand for every spanking. I think it is more maternal and I like the closeness and personal feel of it. Plus with the sensations in my hand I am better able to empathize with the sensations that he is having on his rear end. I do think that a paddle of other implement can add extra sting and can be appropriate once a child is older - it was around 9 or 10 for us. But generally I prefer to simply give longer hand spankings and then maybe finish with an implement if a sharper lesson is needed. I will use a wooden spatula for that which I suppose is rather like a paddle.

I think a too old age really depends on the child. I was spanked well into my teen years and still found it effective. So I expect that I will do the same with my son as long as it continues to be effective.

I think routine is important. It means that both spanker and spankee will know what to expect and I think it is comforting for my son to have a routine about it. After talking about the incident and deciding that a spanking is in order, I'll send my son to use the bathroom and then wait in his room for a little thinking time. When I arrive, I will usually ask some questions about why we are here and what he did. Sometimes we might say a little prayer. Then I will help him to get undressed and then he goes over my lap. Once he is settled and his rear is more or less relaxed, I'll begin spanking with my hand. I will pause now and again to let us both rest a moment. Generally I give milder spanks but spank for a longer time - typically at least 5 minutes these days. If a stronger message is needed then I will let him rest again and finish with some swats to each cheek with a wooden spatula. Afterwards he is free to get up and rub and hop around a little. Then we sit, carefully, together and I'll comfort and calm him. That makes for a nice bonding time. We will talk a little more about his behavior and I'll try to be encouraging about the future. Then a wipe of the face, a final hug, and kiss on the forehead and I leave him. He has some quiet time and dresses - or not - and comes out when he is ready. All better. And as a bonus, I'll have super sweet and angelic boy for a while.

Jessica - posted on 01/25/2016

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I started spanking both my girls around the age of 2-3 years old and my youngest who is 7 yrs old gets her bare bottom spanked over my knee when she needs it with my hand. I don't think there is a upper age really. My oldest who is 17 yrs old still occasionally gets a spanking if she has really deserved it.

Sandra Van - posted on 12/12/2015

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I started spanking at 6 and my 3 girls go all over my knee and spanked bare bottom with my hand

Susanna - posted on 09/04/2015

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In my own experience, 3-4 years old is a good age to start, as this is the age, where the child starts to realise why she or he is being spanked.
I used my hand until mine were 6 years old, from then on, I have used a belt or switch, for serious infractions a thin cane.
I always order mine to strip from the waist down, then bend over for their punishment.
In my opinion, they are not too old as long as they live under our roof and still misbehave!

Strawberry - posted on 07/22/2015

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I started spanking at about 3 when they understood why they are being spanked by mommy. A few light to moderate pops on the bottom or legs was more than plenty. At about 5-6 i started the more traditional spankings. over lap, moderate hand spankings to a bare bottom. I honestly see no need for implements. As for too old, that's hard to say. Personally i was spanked the same way by my mother till 13. My youngest sister till 15. So options are open.

Jessica - posted on 07/20/2015

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I have to say I find the process of spanking works well with my kids. As much as the sting is the embarrassment of it. I am a believer in the "sweetheart please meet me in my room in 5 minutes" (my bedroom is the usual discipline spot to keep it private. More than once I have had girlfriends over and my son has acted with poor manners with them present. A simple "girls excuse me for a few minutes" and all know that there is business at hand. One thing my 13 year old boy is clear on is that arguing or delaying will only make it worse. I have had him return to the room and sit with us after a treatment and his red eyes and much better quieter demeanor is clear. Several women have commented that they have learned good things from our house.

Demi - posted on 07/10/2015

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Old fashion discipline I support. I don't spank for every little infraction but when I do spank their are bare bottom over my lap receiving a paddling

Dan - posted on 04/06/2015

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My mom spanked us with the hairbrush on the bare hiney. No predetermined number of spanks. She just kept spanking until she thought we had learned our lesson.

Chana - posted on 03/30/2015

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There is a difference in disciplining a child and abusing a child. A lot of what I am reading on here sounds like abuse, spanking on the bare bottom with a brush, wooden spoon, belt switch, hand whatever until it is completely red is abuse. All that is teaching is that their bad behavior results in your behavior, two wrongs don't make it right. Yes I have tapped my girls on the FULLY CLOTHED bottom and even smacked their hands but NEVER to the point of leaving red marks. If it leaves marks even if they fade away it is abuse. All I have to do is either point my finger at them or give them what my mom always referred to as "the look" and the behavior stops. They are still young 4 and 2 1/2 but even when the time comes and the behavior is more severe my punishments will be grounding, loss of electronic devices, etc. not spanking/abuse.

Dan - posted on 03/30/2015

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My mom starting using the hairbrush on my bare hiney when I was 7. Don't be too alarmed by thinking it was too severe as it was in the aftermath of burning a hole in the living room rug. Even back then I knew I deserved it.

Before that incident she usually spanked me bare with a thin paint stick that we called "the ruler" also on my bare hiney. I hated getting spanked with it but the hairbrush was far worse. She continued for a year or so using one or the other depending on why she was giving me a spanking - the hairbrush for worse behavior.

By the time I was 8 years old she stopped using the ruler and always used the hairbrush up until I was 13 and then spankings ended. Thank God!

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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We make all our kids drop em and take it bare...I assume most spanking parents do

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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My seven year old gets the hand bare otk and my older kids get it with a belt on bare.

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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I agree totally Ellen. I remember taking my panties down as being so hard.

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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Until age nine I spanked otk with my hand and then went to a paddle and at twelve started the belt always bare but in private.

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