Spanking, age and style

Emma - posted on 01/26/2011 ( 77 moms have responded )

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So does anyone spank? What age is "ok" to start? What's better using your hand or a paddle or something else? What age is too old for it? Do you have any special way or routine for it?

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Julia - posted on 02/21/2011

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hand to start with graduating to paddle, strap, cane etc as they get older. No age is too old.
Julia

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2014

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how long do you give them a spanking with the cane and how many times? do take the kids over your knees then?

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2014

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yes, i agree with you! age may differ but after twelve youngsters deserve a real good spanking taking them over the knees and giving them a heavy hand spanking first to warm up the bare bottom to be continued by a wooden cooking spoon or a hair brush or paddle for some ten minutes. this really works fantastic!

Ruth - posted on 03/04/2011

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i started with hand, but now, for teenagers i use the cane with good results...certainly on the bare

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Laura - posted on 01/25/2016

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My son is 11 and I spank him as needed.

As far as age, I think you can start introducing them to the word "spank" and maybe give them a mild swat on the rear or back of the thighs as early as 2-3. Wait until 4 or 5 to start the more formal, bare-bottom, over the lap spankings. That's about when I started spanking my son. I think that spankings are particularly well suited for school-age children (K-6) and can continue to be useful for tweens and teens (particularly early teens).

I like to use my hand for every spanking. I think it is more maternal and I like the closeness and personal feel of it. Plus with the sensations in my hand I am better able to empathize with the sensations that he is having on his rear end. I do think that a paddle of other implement can add extra sting and can be appropriate once a child is older - it was around 9 or 10 for us. But generally I prefer to simply give longer hand spankings and then maybe finish with an implement if a sharper lesson is needed. I will use a wooden spatula for that which I suppose is rather like a paddle.

I think a too old age really depends on the child. I was spanked well into my teen years and still found it effective. So I expect that I will do the same with my son as long as it continues to be effective.

I think routine is important. It means that both spanker and spankee will know what to expect and I think it is comforting for my son to have a routine about it. After talking about the incident and deciding that a spanking is in order, I'll send my son to use the bathroom and then wait in his room for a little thinking time. When I arrive, I will usually ask some questions about why we are here and what he did. Sometimes we might say a little prayer. Then I will help him to get undressed and then he goes over my lap. Once he is settled and his rear is more or less relaxed, I'll begin spanking with my hand. I will pause now and again to let us both rest a moment. Generally I give milder spanks but spank for a longer time - typically at least 5 minutes these days. If a stronger message is needed then I will let him rest again and finish with some swats to each cheek with a wooden spatula. Afterwards he is free to get up and rub and hop around a little. Then we sit, carefully, together and I'll comfort and calm him. That makes for a nice bonding time. We will talk a little more about his behavior and I'll try to be encouraging about the future. Then a wipe of the face, a final hug, and kiss on the forehead and I leave him. He has some quiet time and dresses - or not - and comes out when he is ready. All better. And as a bonus, I'll have super sweet and angelic boy for a while.

Jessica - posted on 01/25/2016

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I started spanking both my girls around the age of 2-3 years old and my youngest who is 7 yrs old gets her bare bottom spanked over my knee when she needs it with my hand. I don't think there is a upper age really. My oldest who is 17 yrs old still occasionally gets a spanking if she has really deserved it.

Sandra Van - posted on 12/12/2015

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I started spanking at 6 and my 3 girls go all over my knee and spanked bare bottom with my hand

Susanna - posted on 09/04/2015

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In my own experience, 3-4 years old is a good age to start, as this is the age, where the child starts to realise why she or he is being spanked.
I used my hand until mine were 6 years old, from then on, I have used a belt or switch, for serious infractions a thin cane.
I always order mine to strip from the waist down, then bend over for their punishment.
In my opinion, they are not too old as long as they live under our roof and still misbehave!

Strawberry - posted on 07/22/2015

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I started spanking at about 3 when they understood why they are being spanked by mommy. A few light to moderate pops on the bottom or legs was more than plenty. At about 5-6 i started the more traditional spankings. over lap, moderate hand spankings to a bare bottom. I honestly see no need for implements. As for too old, that's hard to say. Personally i was spanked the same way by my mother till 13. My youngest sister till 15. So options are open.

Jessica - posted on 07/20/2015

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I have to say I find the process of spanking works well with my kids. As much as the sting is the embarrassment of it. I am a believer in the "sweetheart please meet me in my room in 5 minutes" (my bedroom is the usual discipline spot to keep it private. More than once I have had girlfriends over and my son has acted with poor manners with them present. A simple "girls excuse me for a few minutes" and all know that there is business at hand. One thing my 13 year old boy is clear on is that arguing or delaying will only make it worse. I have had him return to the room and sit with us after a treatment and his red eyes and much better quieter demeanor is clear. Several women have commented that they have learned good things from our house.

Demi - posted on 07/10/2015

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Old fashion discipline I support. I don't spank for every little infraction but when I do spank their are bare bottom over my lap receiving a paddling

Dan - posted on 04/06/2015

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My mom spanked us with the hairbrush on the bare hiney. No predetermined number of spanks. She just kept spanking until she thought we had learned our lesson.

Chana - posted on 03/30/2015

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There is a difference in disciplining a child and abusing a child. A lot of what I am reading on here sounds like abuse, spanking on the bare bottom with a brush, wooden spoon, belt switch, hand whatever until it is completely red is abuse. All that is teaching is that their bad behavior results in your behavior, two wrongs don't make it right. Yes I have tapped my girls on the FULLY CLOTHED bottom and even smacked their hands but NEVER to the point of leaving red marks. If it leaves marks even if they fade away it is abuse. All I have to do is either point my finger at them or give them what my mom always referred to as "the look" and the behavior stops. They are still young 4 and 2 1/2 but even when the time comes and the behavior is more severe my punishments will be grounding, loss of electronic devices, etc. not spanking/abuse.

Dan - posted on 03/30/2015

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My mom starting using the hairbrush on my bare hiney when I was 7. Don't be too alarmed by thinking it was too severe as it was in the aftermath of burning a hole in the living room rug. Even back then I knew I deserved it.

Before that incident she usually spanked me bare with a thin paint stick that we called "the ruler" also on my bare hiney. I hated getting spanked with it but the hairbrush was far worse. She continued for a year or so using one or the other depending on why she was giving me a spanking - the hairbrush for worse behavior.

By the time I was 8 years old she stopped using the ruler and always used the hairbrush up until I was 13 and then spankings ended. Thank God!

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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We make all our kids drop em and take it bare...I assume most spanking parents do

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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My seven year old gets the hand bare otk and my older kids get it with a belt on bare.

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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I agree totally Ellen. I remember taking my panties down as being so hard.

Laura - posted on 03/01/2015

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Until age nine I spanked otk with my hand and then went to a paddle and at twelve started the belt always bare but in private.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/13/2015

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beating and assaulting with implements is not discipline, it is assault and abuse

[deleted account]

We use our hand most times but we do have a small paddle and my oldest has had the hairbrush for a few extra swats.. but only once thankfully so far.. We have a talk about why they are in trouble and then we hear what they have to say and then there bottoms are bared and they go over our lap for the spanking and after the spanking and the tears have dried we talk about what they could have done instead

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/10/2014

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Gee, Sheila...my 16 YO son came in 30 minutes after curfew last weekend, I took his phone, his keys, and gave him extra chores, and it seemed to work much better than BEATING him.

smh at "parents" who can't figure out how to discipline without beating.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/26/2014

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Yep, seems as if some neanderthal types have not figured out the difference between discipline and abuse.

Using implements and demeaning practices such as bareassed beatings is abuse.

Judge - posted on 09/13/2014

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Wow, are you for real? Is this a joke site? Hitting children with belts, brushes, spoons, paddles? Are you serious? Hitting 16 year old young women bare bottomed? Is that like a sexual thing? Pulling down little children's underwear and pants and hitting them? That is really disturbing behaviour.

Michaela - posted on 09/08/2014

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I spank my girls 9 and 11 years old with the hand or the hairbrush (very rarely I have used the switch and the birch) on bare behinds. I and my husband started spanking our daughters at approx. 4 years of age. You can spank until 18 but I think that's too old. About 14-15 would I think be a proper time to stop spanking.

JOANN - posted on 09/02/2014

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THIS SITE SOUNDS TO ME LIKE THERE ARE ALOT OF SUPER SICK PARENTS OUT THERE

[deleted account]

How did he react to the slipper on his bare bottom, Jan? Do you think he noticed the difference right away?

[deleted account]

Good for you, Sheila! I'm curious; did your daughter cry at any point during her punishment? You certainly did all you could to disabuse her of any notion that she was too much of a big girl to be spanked, and especially on her bare bottom.

Eva - posted on 08/11/2014

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Hi, i do let them think a bit first to before I finished it. They need time to think why and that stuff I mean

Paloma Bernal - posted on 07/14/2014

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Hi, Sheila
Very well done! We don´t use corner time, but i think it´s fine after a spanking. In our home, we use "time to think" in their bedroom after a good slippering.

Sheila - posted on 07/14/2014

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Hi Paloma

I got about 4 canings a year from 10 to 21 although this is now unlawful so I now use my hand.

My 16 year old daughter came in 45 minutes after curfew time last week.
I smacked her bare bottom 32 times ( twice her age ) and then made her stand in the corner for 15 minutes with her knickers down.

She is now grounded for 2 weeks.

Paloma Bernal - posted on 07/12/2014

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As a spanish mom, i use my slipper to spank, just as my mother does with me.

Catherine - posted on 02/18/2014

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mum who uses her slipper to smack a 12 year old girl bare bottom over mums knee and because mums leather slipper hurts the 12 year old girl she starts wriggling on mums knee. But mum just says I will carry on slippering you and smack you harder with the slipper until you stop moving around. on my knee

[deleted account]

You know what, Sandra? I'll bet every time you give a spanking, Mother Nature's watching over your shoulder with a great big smile on her face. :)

[deleted account]

You sound like a mother after my own heart, Sandra. The progression from hand to paddle or brush just makes so much sense when you've got an older child's bottom on your lap.

I'm not there yet with my two, but that's certainly how my mom dealt with me and my sisters as sometimes back-sassing teenagers. A good, sound spanking to teach a child a lesson is so much more advisable than leaving it to chance, and maybe a wrong turn down a dangerous path in a hard world.

[deleted account]

There tends to be a right way and a wrong way of doing things, Brittany. And as far as I'm concerned, if you're not spanking on the bare bottom, then why are you bothering to spank at all?

It's not just a question of the sting being that much sharper. Even my six-year-old is ashamed when I take down his pants for an unhappy trip across my lap. I think the shame factor in bare bottom spanking only grows in its effectiveness as the child gets older.

Brittany - posted on 02/05/2014

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Oh I know, my paddle is wonderful when I use it on the bare bottom. Nice Red shade.

Brittany - posted on 02/05/2014

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I have used a rubber ruler on my kid bare bottom age 10 months to 3 years old. Frankly it work Great!

Brittany - posted on 02/05/2014

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I am,100% in favor of spanking bare bottom. Frankly, my 8 year old remembers these spankings longer in duration of time. My open hand is effective, yet using my flat wood paddle has best results.

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2014

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hi, i have also made the experience it´s quite good to give kids a real good spanking on the bare bottom by hand but later around the age of twelve or fifteen they really need a paddle or hairbrush spanking which really works on their bare bottom to reach some fairly good results in education ! give it a try, too!

Sandra - posted on 01/06/2014

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hello emma, yes spanking is alright at the age of about ten or twelve. when my son started to masturbate at the age of 13 i have taken him over my lap giving him a good hard spanking on his bare bottom when he had "finished" having his orgasm in bed next to me - then he got his spanking lesson for some ten minutes...! so i will continue to treat his bare bottom either by hand or a thrasher to educate him well whenever it is necessary to teach him a real good spanking lesson ... till the age whenever he needs it!

[deleted account]

I think you've got a very sensible attitude regarding spanking, Jelena. So far, my six-year-old son has only ever had two bare bottom spankings across my knee. My hand has been a good enough implement, but I have to say I like the idea of a leather slipper for older kids.

Lisa - posted on 11/03/2012

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so what mental abuse then? as this doesnt bruise....and would u now pull a nappy down on a baby to hit them (cos too be frank thatswhat it is) with a wooden object? seriously thers smacking (spanking) then ther abuse!

Morgan - posted on 10/30/2012

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I started getting spankings with a wooden spoon when I was no more than 2, I know I was in diapers and mom took off the diaper off to spank me on my bare backside. It hurts but it's not abuse unless you are bruising them up.

Lisa - posted on 10/04/2012

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and bare ruler on a 2 year old :'( i actually could cry thats so awfull! i have a nearly 3 year old with behavioural problems and is being assessed for autism but i would only ever tap his hand (mainly because his understanding is not good)....... but HITTING a 2 year old with a RULER! so awfull so so awfull! and i very rarly spank my oldest and have never really had to i think u can assert control and understanding between parent and child other ways can be more affective, i dont disagree spanking can have benefits too but not nearly as many as using words in a controlled enviroment and time out with takeing away goodies such as films i was 16 when i had my 1st child and it was hard but im always complimented on how lovely and polite (even son number 2 with his behavioural problems) they are! canning ???!!!....... a ruler on a 2 year old is so so awful :(

Lisa - posted on 10/04/2012

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hand and only hand im disgusted to hear people are caning their child at this day and age! FEAR IS NOT RESPECT!!!! propa dosgusted, i have 3 children and yes i have what u call spanked my 2 oldest my youngest is just turned 1 so its not that i dont agree with it at all but caning???!!! seriously thats awfull! :(

Margaret - posted on 10/03/2012

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3 or 4 years old is a good age to start. Use only the hand and with the child across the knee. That way they connect the lap / spanking and hand at a young age.



I would leave the question of clothed or not for othetr parents to conclude.

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