Brittany - posted on 04/06/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )
My name is Brittany and i the community Administrator, I just took on this position and am very excited about it.
So a here little bit of my background, I am a 23 yr old single mother of 2 BEAUTIFUL children. Wyatt turned 3 in November and my Daughter Riley just turned 2 in March.
They are victims of what you would call "typical" abuse( getting hit, punched, slapped), mental abuse and the worst of all sexual abuse. Your most likely thinking "OMG, where were you and who did this to them?"Answer to that one is their father and it was done when i wasn't around. I was overseas on a 6 Month Deployment in the Navy.
I had no clue about any of this until the day i pulled in from my deployment and my then husband would not answer his phone at all. I thought i was coming home to my little family after being away for 6 months and missing Holidays, my daughters 1st birthday and alot of milestones.
I came home to my "husband" disappearing in Alabama (where he is from) with the kids, all of my money gone that i made on deployment and NO bills being paid at all. I flew into AL the next day where he finally agreed to pick me up. when he did my children were filthy and smelly and just sad. He told me he wanted a divorce because all i do is abuse him (he was serious ugh), but he wanted to be in the kids lives (never heard a word from him since)I had no clue what had happened yet.
He takes me to his dad and step-moms house and leaves us there, I'm from Tx. My Dad and brother came to pick the kids and i up and drive us home to Tx. I then get a call from a Detective about a week after i got into Tx, telling me that since February 24, 2009 ( 4 days after i left for my Deployment) my ex thought he was talking to a 14 yr old girl online.
It was an undercover sting operation to find pedophiles, he was actually talking to the cops.
He admitted to what he thought was a little girl (the cops) that he had been with children before and went into detail. Kiddy porn pictures ages 1 to about 7 or 8 both genders and very graphic, he attempted phone conversations with the fake # the cops had and sent pictures of himself.
My son was 2 yrs and 3 months old when i left, He was a happy, outgoing, talkative little boy who loved to run around naked, loved to play sports, and slept like the living dead.
i came home to an almost 3 yr old that didn’t talk AT ALL, didn't play, didn’t laugh all he wanted to do was watch TV and if you took his clothes off to change him he would scream bloody murder, start shaking, crying and yelling "no" while trying to cover himself up and now has night terrors.
My Daughter Riley was 5 days away from being 11 months old when i left, she is a preemie (I had a brain tumor when pregnant ), she was barely crawling when i left but she was a very happy child. When i came home she was 15 months old the only thing she was doing that was good was walking, but she did all the same things Wyatt was doing, angry, no talking (only grunting), screamed if had to get naked ect.
My ex got only got 4 yrs probation, mandatory rehab and registered sex offender for the rest of his life. No jail time at all!!
Why? Because the they would only do an external exam on my children not an internal and by the time the facility could "fit my kids in" was 3 months after i got home, all external evidence was gone. They couldn't find the children he said he had been with, and "technically" he was not talking to a 14 yr old ( even though he thought he was). Cops cut him a deal for the laptop with the kiddy porn pictures on it, so they could try and find the kids in the pictures and get them out of harms way.
I am telling you this because this happens on a DAILY basis. My hopes for this community is to see it grow and to raise awareness of abuse against our children. Talking about what has happened to my children and I in the past year of our lives has helped me tremendously.
When everything first came out I was felt so alone, helpless, lost, scared, hurt, angry and guilty. I blamed myself because I am the one that married him, loved him, had kids with him and I am the one that had to leave for War to protect the people of America and left my children, my flesh and blood, the loves of my life at the hands of a monster all by themselves and defenseless.
A complete stranger reached out to me on a random military blog one night, shared her own story, gave me information on people who could help my children and I, and just reassured me that I was not alone. That one beautiful person that I still don’t know saved me from my own destruction, She helped me pick myself up, dust myself off and gave me the tools and advice i needed to get me where I needed to be not just for me but most of all my kids.
Now I share my little family’s story, advice and information at every chance possible, and I can see the difference our story is making in other people’s lives, and it is the best gratification I could ever ask for. Knowing that I helped someone just like my beautiful stranger helped me.
Now I can’t even tell you how many people that have heard my children and I’s story and come pull me aside because they or their children have gone through some sort of abuse and feel the same thing I was feeling when I was where they are now.
So with all that being said this is what I would love to see happen in this community.
Tell us about yourself, why you joined this community, share your stories, even if it didn’t involve you someone you knew, family member or friend.
Give advice, opinions and information to other people who are asking questions and looking for something. You don’t have to be an expert or gone through the same thing as that person but letting them know you care can be one of the best thing we can give our community
No one wants to be alone.
Ask questions even if it is hard, embarrassing or even if you think its just a stupid question, it’s not!
Bring up topics that you would like to learn about, talk about or want information on.
~*~There will be no disrespect in any form tolerated in this community*~*
We are all mothers and are here to help each other!
Knowledge is the best weapon we have to protect ourselves and most importantly our children. The reason so many people get away with abusing children is because abuse is not reported or not talked about because of the lack of knowledge. A lot of people are scared, don’t know what to do, lonely, and feel helpless.
It’s time to change that! So please help us at Circle of Moms do that!
I am very honored that you joined this growing community and please help us make it grow more each day.
If you have any questions, comment or concerns please feel free to contact with any and all questions and I will do everything I can to help.