Casey - posted on 12/13/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )
Im 22 years old, and have been the victim of domestic violence by the hands of my sons father. We were together for just about 3 years, & its now been 1&1/2 years since i left him & i feel like i am never going to be free of his evil. i havent been able to move forward & be involved in any new relationships. its taken all this time just to repair the damage he caused to my mind, my heart & my spirit. cuts bruises & broken bones heal in weeks, the damage done inside takes years heal.... & you can never go back 100% to who you were before it happend. Well, he got back about 3 weeks ago from doing a 6 month rehab course, in which we began comunicating again in regards to our child because I hoped & beleived he was changing his life around, but my hopes were so very wrong. Im already recieving phone threats of violence from him, today he even threatened to kill me. Im so tired of going through all this, the fear of what hes capable of & guilt i feel over my son having him as a father. Its made me miserable on the inside; being afraid to get too close to anyone because I dont want to see them get hurt because of me, always looking over my shoulder waiting for the day his threats start to turn to action. i dont know if he truely means it or if hes just trying to manipulate me & break me down but it doesnt matter. its still destroying my peace of mind. I want to be happy, I want to be able to be free of his evil & find someone who truely loves me & my son, and will be there for us like a real man is supposed to. Be a loving Father to my wonderful son, not just use him as a tool to manipulate. Has anyone else been through anything like this? How do you get through it? Not just survive it, but overcome it? What does my life matter if my heart & soul have been broken & destroyed.... God, anyone, help me.