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Stopping violent alcoholic ex getting contact

Gemma - posted on 06/01/2011 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex was violent to me during our 2 year long relationship, he is an alcoholic. We split up and i let him have contact still as i was still manipulated by him and scared of him. He was late for contact, sometimes he was still drunk in the morning, he bragged about selling drugs, threatened me and my family, amongst many other things, of course in court he denied all of this and tried to make me out to be a bad mother and person from the start of our relationship till after.
We have been in court and they have said he can have supervised contact and he has to go on anger management, even though he says accepting to go on this is not an admittance of what he did, i have heard that anger management doesn't really do anything, plus the gf he just hads parents got in contact and told me he was drinking and abusing their daughter that she was pregnant and going to have an abortion, they made her leave him and i tried to use the facebook message in court to show he was still drinking and repeating this pattern of abuse, i was told it was not relevant to the case, but now CAFCASS have been told about this they said they may want to hear about it, but everytime they look at things, they do nothing about it, I'm just scared he is going to get contact and end up hurting my daughter mentally, emotionally or physically eventually, has anyone else been through this.
Sorry quite long, just need some input please.

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Cat - posted on 06/12/2011

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I was made out to be controlling because I was too afraid to leave my daughter with her father. And when he finally made me(because he kicked my mother out of the house whom I'd asked to babysit) my daughter was so frightened of him from what he did to her during the time I wasn't there for the next week she'd panic when he was in the room. Everytime it got bad he'd do the usual "I'm sorry, I don't want to lose you, I'll change". But as soon as we went to court he said nothing happened and that I misunderstood his intentions. He even tried to make me agree that I cheated on him, or that we broke up because of miscommunication. He has also lied to the courts, his affidavits between different court dates contradict themselves. In Canada, the court feels it's the best for the kids to know the parents. My advice is a lawyer, and if you have one, then ask if the gf's parents could make a statement. They can tell what's happened to their daughter. Maybe they still won't use it, but I feel the same as you do, if I'm saying this happened and now someone entirely new says so there's gotta be a problem! My ex got unsupervised in March, even though some things happened during the previous order. So Everytime she goes to him I check her over and take pictures. When she comes home I do the same thing. Keep telling the truth, keep fighting. If other people saw any of the abuse or signs of it, get them to speak for you. It's so hard but I keep telling myself to keep trying. You can message me if you'd like.

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