getting ready to file for a divorce and its rough.

Raeann - posted on 07/21/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have been married for 6 years and I have 2 children my daughter is 5 and my son is 2. June 19th 2011 my husband and I split up 4 days later he decided to move 2000 miles away from the kids. In the months time that he has been gone he has called my kids one time which was the 13th of July my daughter turned 5 on the 15th of July he never called her to tell her happy birthday :(. The one time that he did call it was because I was texting him begging him to call the kids. I answered the phone and told him to hang on that my daughter was in the bathroom and I set the phone down. Before my daughter came out I put my son on the phone he babbled with his dad for a minute adn then my daughter got on the phone and was talking to him when they were done on the phone I took the phone and said thank you to him for calling. He aplogized for everything and that he was sorry that it didn't work out but you never know what the future holds for us but then proceeded to say that he still wanted the divorce which was fine with me because I was the on that called it all off and split up. My kids don't really ask for him but every now and then my daughter will bring him up saying that hes going to come back. Well just the other day she came to me and told me mommy I don't have a daddy anymore he moved away because he doesn't love us anymore. I told her he is your dad he will always love you no matter what happens. I lost it I didn't know what to do I ran to the bathroom where I cried for awhile and then pulled it together. On the 19th of July me text messaged me and told me to never contact him again he disconnected the only number that I had for him I don't have an address for him and he has blocked me on facebook. He told me that when he is ready to talk to the kids he will call them. I don't understand how a dad can do this to his kids. He told me to file for divorce and that I could have full custody because he doesn't want to fight he just wants it done with. Is there anyone else out there that is having this problem? Do you ever think that he will come around to calling his kids? I am lost I don't know what to do. I am 24 and have never really had to deal with anything in life like this.

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Amy - posted on 07/22/2011

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This may sound a little cold, but out of sight out of mind. Your kids are young they will adapt. I know D is hard. my kids were My kids were older when dad more or less walked out. He didnt call them for almost 9 months and yes it hurt them and I know they will probalby not forget that. He lives 1000 miles away and has a new wife so I know what you are experiencing. My ex turned his phone off wouldnt take calls from me or his kids. Just let you kids know their father cares but he just cant show it right now. It is hard when dad isnt around but sometimes it is just the best. Let me know if I can be any further assistance. I have a great set of ears. Good Luck.

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Kyleigh - posted on 07/28/2011

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thatis a long ways away! praying for you and your fam! Hang tight and be strong!

Kyleigh - posted on 07/28/2011

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you need to file for divorce and get visitation set up if he wants it. Can you get legal aid in your county if income is a problem with hiring a private attrny?

Christina - posted on 07/23/2011

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Kids are better off without a parent in their lives then having one who is inconsistent and bounces in and out. They need consistency. They will be fine.

Raeann - posted on 07/21/2011

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I have moved on I didn't want to be with him anymore I just want him to have contact with my kids and he doesn't seem to want that. It breaks my heart to hear what comes out of my 5 year olds mouth about him not loving her anymore. I will get full custody because I have no way of getting ahold of him. The only thing that i will have to do is post it in the paper. He doesn't have the money to fly here to fight it and I don't think he will either. Will my kids ever stop talking about him when he doesn't contact them?

Christina - posted on 07/21/2011

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You move on. I had to pack my four children up and run 1400 miles away to protect my children from my ex-husband. It was rough at first, but we made it. Courts granted me full custody and he is only allowed restricted visitation due to his offense. He has only seen his children for a total of 5hrs in almost 2yrs.
I was 26 when this happened. It was hard, but we made it. We are happier now than ever before. I remarried almost 3mnths ago, and my husband is a wonderful dad to my children. My kids hardly ask to speak to their bio dad any more, and he hardly calls us.

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