Guardian Ad Litem!

Becca - posted on 03/31/2009 ( 36 moms have responded )

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What should I know about Guardian Ad Litem? From a mom side of things where dad is trying to make issues. Even though its all about Child Support!

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Keshia Marie - posted on 05/06/2013

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NEEDING ADVICE!!!!!!
My daughter is now almost 2 and her father & I have been split up since she was 3 months old. I had primary custody of her but now he fought me for joint custody due to my fiance. He still owes $2,000 in payback! My fiance made a mistake and assaulted me while my daughter was present. The whole ordeal was my fault! But, he went to jail. He pleaded guilty and is now taking anger management classes & going to aa meetings. Note: I am 31 weeks prego by my fiance. My ex took me to court & asked for a Guardian Ad Litem. That was 3 weeks ago!! We go to court next week & the Guardian Ad Litem has not contacted me at all!!!!!!!! I don't know if this is good or bad!? Help!! I moved into my fathers home so I can have joint custody with my daughters father until court. Can anyone give me advice or tell me what in the world the Guardian Ad Litem may be thinking? I thought he should have visited our home and talked to me by now. So, is this a good sign?

Donna - posted on 05/25/2013

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My lawyer thinks we should motion for one. But the father is Manic depressant, bi-polar and a sociopath. How will they see the real person the father is, if he is all about a show and needs the kids to hurt me/others. Not sure myself. A Guardian Ad Litem might only see the surface that a sociopath wants them to see. What did you do? Do you trust a unknown person with your kids life? DID YOU?

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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yes but the dad coaches them and brainwashes! how can they get true feelings?

Jane - posted on 06/22/2011

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The Guardian ad Litem represents the interest of the children, not your interest and not your ex's. As has been said, be open and honest with the GAL. If you have any evidence of any sort, emails, notes, witness accounts, anything, get it together and give a copy to the GAL. Make sure the GAL knows how much is owed and show documentation.

Good luck.

Jane - posted on 06/22/2011

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Most GALs are trained to tell when kids are saying what they really feel versus when they are parroting what someone wants them to say.

You are beginning to sound very emotional - that is not a good way to approach things like this. Take a deep breath and calm down. Get a lawyer that you trust. Ask his/her advice. Round up evidence that you are a good mom. And work on being calm and adult.

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Donna - posted on 02/20/2014

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Yes. You go to your clerk home page. There you will have to do all the form and work on your own. That is the only way. Help from Moms and google go a long way too.

Donna - posted on 02/20/2014

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I am so sorry for your pain. Yet, you are and must cont. to be the strong one. My kids Dad just killed a man and fled till the drugs and drinks were out of his system. He got 0.00 bond and is pleading not guilty. This is the way he always was and will always be. And even with smashed, blood on his windshield, family lost 27 year old man--he still does not care and never will. Court is 3/27/2014. Just like always the system and you must prove it, which he knows and will make you/they do that. He does not even try to talk with the kids as normal. Just keep doing the right thing for your kids. Nothing else will help. Go forward, because our kids will too.

Susan - posted on 02/06/2014

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Be courteous and calm, try not to bash the other parent. Just deal with issues involving the child. Remember they are not your friend. They are working for your child. Only provide information pertinent to the situation. If you can prove your ex is lying, do so. If he has a woman (not married to him) at the house while the minor you can have the guardian check that out. Don't go out with friends every weekend and hire a sitter. Choose your friends wisely. If you have a boyfriend living in the house, give him the boot. Choose your child first.

Susan - posted on 01/21/2014

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Do you think you should have your child around a man who assaulted you? Battered women usually claim they are at fault. I think you should take this as a warning and protect your daughter and yourself and exile your fiance from your life. Your daughter deserves better. Chose her and not him.

Cindy - posted on 12/07/2013

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Be careful when callong the cops because no matter what the situation they hafe to take some one to jail even if its a small argument buy law they dont hafe to but they wil, tell that the the law says they hafe to cops arnt like they use to be and they arnt like they sould be (with morals ) because to many people have made false complaints so we all are being punised for others crimes and as for your ex turn him in when he does something real bad and make sure you have good good proof that way no one can change what is going on

Cindy - posted on 12/01/2013

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I've been going through probate court because my child's dad was killed by a drunk driver I have made it to all the hearings and my attorney says we are done with everything and I don't hafe to see the judge anymore except once a year for inventory so I continued on with life for the next several months having to attend several family funerals down in texas and tending to my granma in hospice wich my lawyer new about nest thing I know im back home in florida and the us marshall is at my door telling me and my husband they have a warrant for my arrest saying I owed child support ive never owed child support in my life I've never even been in front of a judge for cs butvwhen I get to jail two days later I found out the judge in probate court orders a guardian at litem to my child and the gal tells the judge flat out lies says I never deposited my kids money in a proper guardianship account he said I put it in a private checking account with my name only on it he even told the judge I blew all 62000 an ran off with it and ask the judge to keep me in jail for 6 months with out bond so I hired an attorney to prove all this wasnt true I even have proof that he lied on paper I have all my receipts and I returned the money and told them to shove it this gal still wants tobthrow me in jail even though I can prove he lied can someone one please help me this gal is blac maleing mevtelling me if I dont give my kid up and all her money and her ssi check to him hes goingbto put me in jail for a very long time my childhas a 5 year old brother and there both my granchildren ive had since they came home from the hospital there parents abbanded them at birth over drugs thia gal is treating me like I was a 50 time felon wants me to give my child up and her ssi wich is the first time ive ever got any child support neither parent ever gave me a dime and he wants to give me over 25000 in fines with no proof of anything except that I didnt didn't dposit money in the right kind of account wich I did put in a controlled account and I have proof please help someone what can I do

Fawn - posted on 09/13/2013

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we were under the impression that we were not to talk to GAL..only our individual lawyers -- everything to go through the lawyers. BUT BD is always saying the GAL told me this or this.. but the GAL has not been in contact with us (ex.. he expected the whole weekend rather than 1 night -- we were not informed).. he talks as if he is in constant communication with GAL.. beginning to feel she is lawyer for BD rather than GAL..

Holly - posted on 09/05/2013

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I had my lawyer file for a GAL after an incident with my ex and his girlfriend where they started a verbal and physical altercation with his mother of which our daughter was present. She is only a year old and I was on my way to pick her up from his visitation with her. It ended up where the cops were called and a police report was filed and the police are pressing charges since it's deemed domestic assault on him and assult on her. I felt it be in the best interests of my daughter for a GAL to be appointed because he has yet to sign the paper work for the PSA and there is no custody/visitation agreement. I have heard one has been appointed to the case but do not know when I will hear from her or what I should expect my ex and I's court date is next week for temporary custody/visitation/support. Any suggestions would be great.

Jessica - posted on 05/14/2013

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i had a guardian ad litem appointed 7 weeks ago....i have left her several voice mails and also many voicemails to my attorney and no one has gotten in contact with me.....we have court in less then 3 weeks.....is this normal???

Milva - posted on 10/17/2012

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Oh my God ladies. What a mess we are all in. I feel for all of you and myself to be put in this situation.

I just got one appointed yesterday GAL, after the judge granted me a permanent injunction againsta my ex. And he had not turned his guns in, and now he lied again, and turned an affidavit that he sold it 2 years ago, but have an email where he said he had one last year, and so on.

Judge will decide on Friday if kids go back to dad, base don the GAL and if the guns are turned in. Judge told my ex that his whole testimony was not credible.

A MESS! God will provide, and the truth will prevail. I believe that and so shoudl you!

Kyleigh - posted on 07/10/2011

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but its summer break how is that supposed to work with a GAL involveD?

Jane - posted on 06/22/2011

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GALs are not the same as DCFS. They are fact finders for the judge and represent the children's interest. They are not there to put anyone in jail. Make sure the GAL knows which schools to talk to, and specifically which teachers.

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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The school knows what BD antics are and they arent good they see what he does to the 2 children we have together and know the constant degrade of speech he has among me. I just hope GAL will talk to the school also, but it sucks because they swapped schools.

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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perhaps it was the "exclaimation mark." that sounded giddy! Im totally calm I promise. I just again hate to see my 2 children recant their own stories when it come to DCFS talking to them simply because they have this thought that their BD will go to jail. I know they want to remain living in our household we make the times fun and enjoyable

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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Will they ever have a facility to take the children to to have them talked too to get their true feelings and emotions

Jane - posted on 06/22/2011

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Showing them emails you have sent and those you have received show what your relationship is. If your emails are reasonable and his are threatening, then the GAL can see for themselves who is lying.

And if the GAL needs to talk to the kids in the summer they go where the kids are and talk to them. If that won't work, the dad will be ordered by the court to bring the kids to a neutral spot or the court house so the GAL can talk to them. The dad can be in the next room but he won't be in the room with the kids.

Your kids are 5 and 10 so they are plenty old enough to talk to the GAL.

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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had no idea GAL you CAN SHOW them emails etc....doesnt that look bad upon you that your BASHING the ex so the GAL will hate the opposing parent?

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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how are they supposed to talk to the children if my children are at BDs house??? for summer? the children will be coached to tell the woman oh i want my BD! :(

Becca - posted on 06/22/2011

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GAL spoke for the kids..... He was the kids voice in court... can't blame the court for the decisions that were made over 2 years ago.... But I would how ever like to have a "told u so" with judge and GAL. Because I have had all 3 of my kids with me full time for last year as their father has chose not to have them in his life.....

Brandy - posted on 04/30/2011

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GALs can be blessings in disguise, especially when you have a judge who is bias towards your ex. I have hundreds of emails where my ex has said and is documented that he has done nasty things, that when he gets in court, he denies he ever said or that they ever happened. Our GAL told me to forward her EVERY email that we send each other and all past emails that are significant to the case. All I can say is "Thank GOD!" I might finally be heard! I had a horrible GAL assigned to my last hearing, but once I met the GAL I have now, a coolness came over me like everything was going to be ok. If my intuition is right about her, God definitely assigned her to our case for a reason. Eventually their sins will find them out and they will be held accountable for all the horrible things they have done. It's going on 5 years and I find myself frequently asking God "When?" When will he reap what he has sewn? When will I collect the fruit of my labors? I am proud to say that I am finally at peace and have given all my troubles to God and well life is so much easier for me and most importantly I am a better mother. Don't let him bother you! If he is a liar, the lies will catch up with him soon. Just be glad that you're not him because he would have to be a miserable person to feel he has to inflict so much pain upon a person to feel good about himself!

Heather - posted on 04/14/2009

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Hi Becca,



It's amazing how many absent parents try to use the court system as a tool to "get back" at the other parent.  I am a mom to 3 children in which my ex is trying to pursuade a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate or Guardian Ad Litem) that the kids would be better off living with him.  I, like Robin, have been divorced for over four years and am recently remarried.  Unfortunately, this issue was never about the kids, it was also about child support.  My ex is over $14,000 in arrears. 



My attorney told be that a guardian ad litem is not necessarily a bad thing.  Of course, they do come with their own baggage that can sometimes confuse the issues, but they need to stick to the facts.  As long as you are "professional", honest and have your documentation to back up what you say, you should be fine.  The job of a guardian ad litem is to look at both situations and present it to the court.  They are kind of like the judges "eyes".  Now, I do need to say that if you do not agree with the perception of the guardian ad litem, DO NOT BE AFRAID to let that be known in court.



You story sounds very similar to mine.  With the ex brain washing your children.  This is where I encourage you in Truth.  God will not be mocked.  Stand firm to what Truth is, do the best you can with regard to keeping documentation (Dr.'s reports, counseling reports, school reports, etc...) and let God take care of the rest.  It is easier said than done, but if God is for you, who can be against you! :)



Don't give up.  Your ex will be called into account as some point.  You will have justice.  Believe it. :) 



 



Best wishes,



Heather

Becca - posted on 04/14/2009

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My faith is there! I want my kids to know The Lord but their dad and girlfriend are pushing to get them out of church. Even though we went to church as a family before! Its hard at this point! Put I try to stay focused!!! I hope that you and your family had a wonderful Easter!!!

Email me if you'd like! yaggergirl2007@yahoo.com

Robin - posted on 04/14/2009

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I'm telling ya girl. we ought to be on the Dr. Phil show. Our stories are so similar that it's not even funny. Except mine now has a new wife. They got married a little over a year ago. I have a 14 year old and the new wife doesn't care for her because she speaks her mind, especially when the new wife makes remarks about me. Its been horrendous. Anyway, I got into church with my girls about 14 months ago and that has helped tremendously. My mom just went in the hospital on Easter and their dad made them turn their cell phones off (that I bought for them to stay in touch) in the middle of the whole medical emergency. Its just one thing after another. I just try to stay calm and focused and keep telling myself that if I hadn't been married to such a butt, I wouldn't have such beautiful girls. There's some peace in that. stay in touch

Becca - posted on 04/14/2009

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Well things are as they are! My oldest is being brain washed by dad and his girlfriend! They have had her and our son write letter about mom being bad and dad being good to them! But wait-- we also have a 13 year old daughter. Ya we do! He does not want her, because her and girlfriend do not get along! He says that its because daughter does not want to be with him. But we all know by the way things have gone that's not true!

I have delt with so many things that I don't know what to say! From Children Services to schools caling me bacause his Girlfriend fills out new medical forms and omits me. See we have shared parenting! One week on one week off! It worked great until he was court ordered to pay child support! Then it went down down down!

At his point my head spins- ya see I lost my Fiancée April 3rd to a Massive Heart Attack- instead of my x letting up for a little while he has made things worse. Calling my friends (were mutual friends) telling them that I lost everything becasue we were not married, then telling the kids that I was going to be homeless and they would lose their things! I can't see how he thought it was a good idea to tell the kids these things!

So amny things! I can't understand why a father would want to put their kids threw this!!

Robin - posted on 04/14/2009

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OMG! 2 lines and your story sounds like mine. I've been divorced for over 4 years and just went back to court, again, over custody. I say that, knowing that it's really about child support. He hates paying anything at all. What I can tell you about a GAL is to be completely truthful and encourage your kids to do the same. My experience was that, because I imposed harsher discipline, obviously the kids wanted more time away. It went in my favor because I was able to show that I remained stable and consistent, I didn't stop doing my motherly things just because of court. Tell the GAL absolutely everything. Let them determine what's important and what's not. I found out that a few things that I may have blown off at the dad being an idiot, the GAL thought was imperative and showed a lot about the dad's character. good luck. please respond and let me know how it's going.

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