Problems after overnight visitation with bio

Kessy - posted on 11/15/2008 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am a single mom of a 2 year old. I left my now ex-boyfriend when I found out I was pregnant ( he wasn't the kind of guy I want to raise a child with)

My son's father has started coming around and is exercising his court ordered visitation. Everyother weekend from Friday to Sunday my son is gone. When he comes home all he does is cry. He crys when I leave the room, he cries for "Mommy" when it is bedtime, he wakes up in the middle of the night screaming "Mommy". Plus for almost 4 days after he comes back from seeing his bio it is a fight to get him to sleep in his bed or even go to bed. All he wants to do is to sleep with me.

Also when he comes back he bites, hits, and he doesn't listen. For most two year old that may be normal, but for my son it isn't. Before he started doing these overnight visitation's with his bio we never had a proble with him biting, or hiting. And like most 2 year olds he sometimes has a mind of his own, but it is horrible when he comes back on Sunday.

It worries me that when he comes back from his weekend visitation he is acting like this. Does anyone have any tips or advice??

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Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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Maybe also BD is letting him sleep with him on the couch / bed perhaps...its normal, my dh falls asleep with our kids all the time....

Megan - posted on 06/22/2011

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At BD's house is there a gf with children? Does BD have any other bio's with him? Other kids around your childs age that could possibly telling or showing him to hit!?? These are all good questions to ask yourself!

Ellie - posted on 03/17/2011

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you have the option of going to child services and having them monitor a visit with bio. or you can try going back to court and argue that visits are not in the best interest of the child.
i know your son is young, but try talking to him and getting him to tell you what goes on there that he finds so distressing. does dad yell a lot? what toys do you play with? what do you eat? you want to sleep with mommy, does dad let you sleep with him? (my ex-husband does that, drives me nuts. Sunday nights are usually sleepless for me.)
so, recap: talk to child services, talk to attorney, and talk to kid. if bio is the "stand-up" guy he seems like, then perhaps throwing your weight around a little will get him to slink away. he may not want to work for the right to be there. i hope you are able to work this out. even if bio stays in the picture, transitions will get easier with time. it's hard, but you actually care about your kid and he will be able to make the comparison with time.

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